Raising Teenagers is not an easy job,is it?
I guessed this put her under so much pressure and she over reacted to almost every and any mistake done by us....
We get beaten for not finishing our meals,she stopped giving my siblings and I Lunch to school because my Sister's teacher told her my sister threw her food away,I broke a plate in my 1st month of Marriage and I Froze,waiting for Slap from her before I remembered I was married and in my own home.
She was the" Do not spare the rod and spoil the child type of mother"
No mistake was too small for caning. I can remember when I was in SS2 and I got a Valentine card from a friend,OMG mama Philo literally skinned me alive,while she was beating me with a cane,with her left hand,her right hand had the turning garri stick hitting me on my Head,her fingers were pinching me all over my body,with her leg kicking me, she was "Jackie Chan" Sister, and all through this Torture, she was crying as she was beating me and saying" You won't disgrace me,you won't give your father's people opportunity to laugh at me.
Surprisingly I understood her and bore no grudge towards her but I swore I would never subject my child(ren) to physical punishment.
Now I am a Mother of 4, and Corporal and physical punishment is not allowed in my home.
I try to be a Liberal,Current,well informed and updated Mom.
Sitting at Naughty corner , No Sweets and Chocolates,No TV for the 2 younger ones while No phones or Laptop for the older ones works for Us.
We have interactive talks,the girls give me reasons for doing What and Why they did what they did.''Truth'' ''Please'' and ''Thank You'' is the Language spoken and understood.
When we all got married,even raising our voices to our Children upsets my Mom and when she complains, I'm like ''Hmmmm!!! Mama Philo is this you?'' and remind her of all the times she beats us and she goes ''naaa for una good naa and besides you girls all turn out well and well behaved,see you are all grounded and living in peace in your homes and most Importantly this is Computer age,nowadays Children are not Beaten''.
So BVs, what is your take??
*There are several ways i punish my kids and God forbid that i ever go physical even though sometimes kids really pushes one to the edge.....I,dont ever wanna see any child flogged the way i was growing up for being really stubborn and confrontational...Cane only leaves a dented childhood and scars,it doesnt make the child a better person.
...i was flogged as a kid, i know how it helped reset my brain, i will flog my kids too if push comes to shove, but wont leave marks, if mark is accidentally left, he/she would deal with it, above all id bring them closer with the other hand & show them love
ReplyDeleteWeldone. I was caned too and I flog my children only if necessary. The Bible says we should not spare the rod and spoil the child. Children these days are smart and you need to be smarter to be in control and sometimes, adding cane to the mix gives it the perfect soup.
Delete"Proverbs 13:24 says, "The one who withholds [or spares] the rod is one who hates his son." Verses like this one are probably the inspiration for the proverb that people often misquote as being Biblical. Proverbs 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him." Although similar in concept, the actual phrase "Spare the rod, spoil the child" is not Biblical."
DeleteThe excess beating ruin my relationship with my mum
ReplyDeleteAm the first the beating was too much and made me feel she hated me
I will spank my kids but maybe just 3ce a year
Lol... so you'd have a calendar with special days marked for spanking? 😂😂... spanking holiday!
DeleteMay God give all parents wisdom to train their children
ReplyDeleteAmen Amen Amen
DeleteAs the first child and grand child, I was pampered by all
ReplyDeleteBut I wasn't spoilt.I knew what to do at the right time knowing I have Alot of people looking up to me.
If I ever do wrong, my dad will tell me to go read my Bible for hours. No beating in our house except for once in a while igbati and igbarun.But they can use words to finish someone
Did you ever read though?
DeleteCos I would love to use this style when the time comes.
It makes sense in a funny way.
Note: As a teenager, I would hide my Mills&Boon or Silhouette under whatever book I was asked to read by force😩😩
Iphim, it work so well and shaped us
DeleteHe will give me some chapters and I must explain what I learnt from it. If he is satisfied, I can go.If not, I will start over again and sometimes sleep and wake up on it in my room.
Will be using same for my kids God's willing.
Nice punishment.
DeleteI like this form of punishment. I will definitely use with my kids when the time comes God willing.
DeleteThank you so much. I use : Write 1-100 or 200 now.
DeleteI will graduate to this❤️
Hmmmm sometimes I just wish I don't raise my hand on my daughter...but she can be so stubborn at times.
ReplyDeleteI really feel bad now and wish to stop completely. So help me God
My Mom couldn't hurt a fly... Never hit us, the one time she even tried to, I took off and still bumped into a door so hard, I wept. It was almost like Karma.
ReplyDeleteMy Dad?? He was terrifying. Had his good and bad parenting skills.
I wish to do better, sometimes I see my Dad in me(Controling,hard,unbending,strict)
Constant reading about intentional parenting is helping me a great deal, plus these millenial kids can’t even take disrespect.
They would say: Mom ask nicely. Mom you are shouting. Mom you didn't say thank you. Etc.
So yea, I hope to do better.
I spank my kids but not too much, I talk to them too and sometimes I scream, God help me.
ReplyDeleteI flogged my daughter yesterday after warning her over and over like 6 months in her attitude especially towards her younger ones.. She woke up to apologize and I was happy but regretted using cane on her. A times they pushed us to it. May God help us parents to raise them in the right part.
ReplyDeleteShe regrets not being nice to her young ones after u caned her and now you regret using a cane on her? I still don't get it.
DeleteAmen to your prayer.
hmmm... My teenager is quite a handful now.. I cant wait to see all the responses so that I will know how to deal with her issues. This matter is so rife and timely..
ReplyDeleteI do give my Child(ren) back-hand slap once a while, like once in five years. The effect of the slap lingers.
ReplyDeleteMy mum.... my mum.... oh God! The beating was endless.. she needed no reason to beat you! I have not forgiven her, not yet! My dad was a complete opposite of her. God continue to rest your sweet soul daddy. My mum's own was pure wickedness.. still has not changed till this moment. I pity her.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwwwwwwww
Delete😌😌😌😌😌😌😌
Forgive her
Yimu.I no follow for all these don't spank a child story.my belief is just don't be inhumane about it.That's how my aunty raised her kids with that story and you guys need to see the rubbish those children do.very I'll mannered teenagers that has zero respect and regard for anyone. Bless your soul if you're not well to,these kids automatically turn you to their maid irrespective of your age.and their mum supports every rubbish they do.you can't even report her kids to her to correct them,not even to use cane or whatever, she'll turn the whole thing on you.its so disgusting to see children of these so called "I don't beat my kids"parents behave.they lack every form of good manners.parents raise your kids well o,especially those born in the millennia. Tufiakwa for how they behave
ReplyDeleteSpeak for yourself I have kids between 2 and 16yrs NEVER for once cained them and they always win best behaved awards I get commended everywhere they visit for their good behaviour.
DeleteSo speak for yourself ma
As my daddy's first girl, he pampered me a lot and the most he'll do is use his 2 fingers to tap my palm, warning me not to repeat the wrong committed again which drew me so close to him (I miss you Palee, keep resting well with your maker).
ReplyDeleteMum on the other hand made use of insulting words more that will hurt more than cain and use her slippers and any object that isn't harmful that is close to her.
I felt so hurt by those words and I kept my distance from her but later when I saw her pain and struggles, I understood why she transferred the aggression of how she was feeling on us. This made me forgive her easily and loved her more. The interesting part is that all she did made me turn out to be a wonderful woman cos I was always careful of not making mistakes that will run my life or disgrace the family and thank God all is well. Now I love her more than what one can ever imagine. She's my gold!
As for my kids, by God's grace, I'll do my best not to go physical on them cos harsh beatings often breaks the bond parents should have with their kids and this will create a gap between them. God help US!
my 2+ daughter will dare you even with the cane.places and things you asked her not to do is where she will fist on, i can't help it but flog.words means nothing to her unlike other children you threaten they will comply.
ReplyDeleteSame here o.
DeleteFlogging is not bad... Though it should not be done in excess
ReplyDeleteMy 6yr old daughter is very naughty. I keep repeating the same thing over and over again and she keeps promising to change. A times, when I shout at her, she would say mommy pls don't shout at me, talk gently. Hian! Who born me well to make such statement to baba bimbo. Its koboko that will settle the ish but my mom never raised her hands on us. Worst case kneel down or no TV..
ReplyDeleteI hardly spank my daughter but most times her punishments are no going to the mall with us or no swimming.
I was never flogged as a child.. We had cane in the house but it was rarely used.
ReplyDeleteI think it was only used for the boys and they could count how many times they were flogged.
Even without the fear of being flogged, we never misbehaved..
My parents usually scold and I'm a very soft person that cries when I'm shouted at, so I avoid any situation that would warrant such.
I think too much flogging isn't the right way to raise a child cos some of them grow a tough skin. They tend to do whatever pleases them, because they are already use to the cane
Please decipline your kids so they wont turn to your prayer request tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteNice one. One has to study the children, read books about parenting and then come up with a particular method for a particular child. I must add that to train a child in this 21st century is a big task. God help us
ReplyDeleteFlog but not as if u are flogging a cow, my sis will talk n talk, whereby d talk no enter head, she will give d bum a hot slap, that slap set d kid straight for a whole term.
ReplyDeleteYour mum flogged you blah blah that's why this country is filled with loud, disrespectful and rude people.
ReplyDeleteCane is very important in training the kids, but don't flog to kill but to scared them . God direct us the parents
ReplyDeleteStudy them and know what each requires,some when scolds gently complies some hard but do it with love
ReplyDeleteFlogging with broom that you would be picking from your body was what my dad used on us while growing up.lol...Flogging never killed me but reset my brain because I was mischievous. Thank God i can look back and appreciate my parents.I won't spare the rod on my kids if need be but not with broom.
ReplyDeleteMy dad over flog us oo,he uses thick cable wire in beating us(he is an electrician),he always beat us like criminals.imagine pulling my sis and i hair and dragging us on the floor anytime we offend him,God i hated him then.till date we dont have father and daughter relationship,now he is so calm and gentle that he even baby sit his grand children.
ReplyDeleteMumsi twale for you, if my mumsi no beat you wetin she gain, she flogged and factory set my brain, I never liked her initially, but I understand the struggles of life and how she was only trying to make us good kids, cos my dad will rather talk than beat
ReplyDeleteSpanked my kids when they were younger but now they are teenagers I try to talk things out with them tho have conked them hard once or twice when talking doesn’t work. They are generally well behaved so dialogue works very wellZ
ReplyDelete