Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Saturday, August 24, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmmm.....na wa









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
A NARATIVE TO LEARN FROM


Hello Stella,

As I was reading  Wednesday's boredom elimination post. The memories of how I and my husband connected came flooding back. Coincidentally, Saturday is 12yrs wedding anniversary. We are blessed to have us a couple.



I met him online, those days when Glo had a chat buddy feature on their Network. I was married then. And I was in 300L, he was a part time student but broke (Lol). But his astuteness and intelligence stood him out. I got to know he was struggling, I, on the other hand came from a comfortable mid-class family and married to a comfortable husband too. So as our friendship progressed, I found myself helping him financially, 10k, 15k, 20k, 25k. And he was quite appreciative. All this while he didn't know I was even married. Not until I came to Lagos for my NYSC did he get to know I was off the market. And that was on one of those days he came to visit me during orientation. And asked that "B, I hopeful you are not doing all this because you want something in return?" I laughed so hard that he wondered what the problem was.


 I asked him like what, to which he said marriage. I then told him to look at my finger that I was married already. And if he took a proper look at me, he would see that I was pregnant. That I only took interest in him because I hate seeing such a bright and brilliant mind waste away. And since I find myself in a position to help, I took it up. Then he thanked me. Sadly, that marriage ended, even before I could birth that baby. My first husband was a batterer. He hit so hard one night at 6months, everyone thought I was dead. Having been warned severally by my father, he came to my rescue. My mother was broken, because she made the marriage happen, against what my father for - grown mind to make my own choices. That was how that marriage ended. The baby survived, I birthed her prematurely at 8months. Luckily without any complication.


Make una no laff me o. Because I got married again, I was still in the life of this guy as a friend. I was working then with a multinational establishment. He was in his final year then. But I was still helping him out financially. Now with a fixed sum, slightly higher than what I was giving him then. He attended my second marriage. And gave me a wonderful gift, even though it was one the cheapest I got. I valued it most. 


This second marriage didn't even last up to a year and half - what was wrong with this girl, you go dey ask for your mind. I and my 2nd husband got to know I had complication with getting pregnant. Due to my last pregnancy and the physical abuse that went with it. After trying for a year and half he asked to leave the marriage. I was in my late 20s at this time, and already had 2 failed marriage - bad market.



My parents decided to send me abroad for my master programme and have a change of everything. I was still in contact this God sent guy. He was in his service year at this time. And the goodness in me was still handing him handouts. Mind you I am older by 2yrs. My last 2 exes were much older than I. 


By this time, he started positioning himself for a relationship. I liked him but not sure I loved him. Because I think he understands me more than my 2 exes. Anyway, today we are a couple with 3 lovely boys - it did not come easy, not in the first yrs plus. And my first child, a daughter, he treats her better than even his boys. Damn it, this guy loves me, Stella. We do have the regular marital squabbles and all but he is the best that has happened to me, his understanding is second to none. I didn't see what God placed in front of me. I was busy chasing other things. It took me a while to let anyone know I was in a relationship again. It was after I and him had decided the month of our introduction before I took him to meet my parents. Today he is my father's best friend, you heard me right. 



He introduced me to your blog 7yrs ago.


I celebrate you, the love of my life. Wished I knew all, I would have married you the period fate brought us together.....


Please don't ask me if he is better placed now financially - that has never a problem for me. I have it this good, doesn't mean investing in someone else's life will turnout good for you. Remember I went through hurt and pain too. There are many adult- child out there parading themselves as men. Think through about what you want and work with it. But if you ever meet a good soul, a truly matured adult who understands you, regardless of the status disparity. Please endeavour to be in their life. Relationships doesn't have to end in marriage. You could be the messeger God sent into their life, for the fulfilment of His promises to them. Live life wisely and have fun too while at it.



WOW!!!!......thanks for sharing!!!

53 comments:

  1. Awwwwwwwwww... I love what I just read.
    Let’s have something positive for a change.
    God bless you and yours madam.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most girls are not ready to sacrifice anything..... not even just being good to their fellow human being. If they had this poster as a friend always giving him money, theyd advice her to stop, that the guy is using her as maga, but you see the reward now? Even if the guy married someone else or didnt appreciate it all at the end... you'd still get rewarded somehow, someplace else, its never a waste. But selfish girls all over always waiting to collect from a man. ANG spoke about her own sacrifice here, see all of them attacking her like ahe stole from you, na wa o.

      Delete
    2. I know a lot of women who have done this, they were betrayed in the end, and haven't got any reward from anywhere. It doesn't always happen like like we are made to believe...

      Delete
    3. Poster, the guy is only humble because he is broke and you are helping him out. Let the cash flow stop you will see his true colors then. I don’t trust any broke man.

      Delete
    4. 17:46
      Are they healthy and walking? That could be a handsome reward... its not always visible.

      Delete
    5. Awwww.... this kind of fairytale story is quite rare and she said it all, dat it worked for her doesnt mean it will work for u.
      Too many lazy ass guys out there looking for a woman to puck dia bills, all they have to offer is dick and emotional stress and they will still come out to yarn crap about how girls don't want to suffer with them.

      Delete
    6. Awwww.... this kind of fairytale story is quite rare and she said it all, dat it worked for her doesnt mean it will work for u.
      Too many lazy ass guys out there looking for a woman to puck dia bills, all they have to offer is dick and emotional stress and they will still come out to yarn crap about how girls don't want to suffer with them.

      Delete
  2. What caught my attention: "I was busy chasing other things". A lot of girls make this mistake of chasing money, and vanities instead of character😘😘

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And of course when they find those vanities, those brutes called men will use them
      to practice heavyweight boxing title fights.

      Delete
  3. Congrats. And may God continue to preserve your marriage. .age is just a number, so it shouldn't be a hinderance to a happy and lasting union.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have never responded to an online prayer before, but I feel compelled to do so on this one occasion. AMEN!!!

      Delete
  4. You’re a good girl with a heart of gold you just met wrong men. Say hi to ya hubby for us. Good man

    ReplyDelete
  5. poster thank you very much for sharing. Finally you found love, may God keep you both.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Your story brought me to tears, God bless your home poster. Thank God sowing into the life of a man turned out good for you but for most, it's the exact opposite.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Una don start again.. just say you feel like crying and don't use this as an excuse πŸ˜’πŸ˜’

      Delete
  7. Nice one. A good story for ladies of nowadays learn from.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yaba left escapee24 August 2019 at 15:28

    ... singing Celine dion...

    Right in front of you
    Right in front of me
    We were looking but somehow, someway we couldnt see.
    That the love was always there
    Its been around us everywhere
    I had to fall to finally see,
    That you were right in front of me...."

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm not giving pocket money to any man. I wonder whether the squabbles are around money cos I feel he's still acting like your dependent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keep feeling, you hear?.. I'm glad the poster shared this. There's no formal pattern to life and living mbok..

      Delete
  10. May God continue to bless your marriage poster. Learnt a lot from your story. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a Wawu.... God continue to bless you poster.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nice one. Congrats to you both

    ReplyDelete
  13. Congrats. Your goodness paved a way for you. Your intent was pure and God decided to give you what you lacked most- Love; funny enough, through the same...
    More blessings in your home

    ReplyDelete
  14. Poster jeez u still won the jackpot after 2 failed marriages! But seriously tho am happy for u!!! U threw wat life gave u and made lemonade. Ur story is an inspiration that no one is a write off marriage wise especially when it ends. God bless and keep u both!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wait, 2 marriages before 30?? You had a big problem. Why were you so desperate? Nigerian women and their thirst for marriage. One failed and you ran into another one. Only you 3 marriages. I don't know what the moral lesson of your story is to be honest. I hate desperation like crazy! I am sure it is your type that would have eyed single women taking their so they do not have multiple marriages before they are 40 feeling like you started early or the ones that don't care for marriage at all. Tsk tsk! Tell your husband you love him at home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She finally found her soul mate, that's the moral.
      Is it your three marriages?

      Delete
    2. Sharps there

      Delete
    3. Sharap there u hear me @anon 15:55

      Delete
  16. That your last paragraph.
    I will ask.
    Hope you have stopped giving him money?

    ReplyDelete
  17. That 2nd husband might have been impotent sef.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Posted this is your first and only marriage, the other ones were just tools to get you to appreciate your only husband. I learnt something from your story.E hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  19. One of the best stories I have ever read here.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Shows that this country has really evolved,
    Times have changed.
    Real men love u irrespective of your status.
    I know of someone who said he loves a girl so much and she is everything he wants but she has a kid out of wedlock and yet he is a three weeks of marriage divorcee so he can not marry her.
    A real man knows what he wants and goes for it without validation from anyone,
    This is a true man,he loves you irrespective of your past

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh plssssss... you are so wrong!
      We all have a tolerance limit and personal desires...
      If one man couldnt see past her marriage failing twice, it doesnt mean hes not a real man.
      That ur ideology is wrong.

      Another gold digger (not this posters hubby sha) could be in for the finance and connections, he'd even go as far as proposing marriage, and she accepts... wouldnt u call him a real man?

      Delete
    2. Evolve me, the older generation has to many women with children from different me . I know too many people whose mothers came into their marriages with a child. People were not these judgemental in those days. Now everyone wants to feel better than the other person hence the judgemental attitude.

      Delete
  21. May God continue to keep your marriage and grant u a very happy and healthy one.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Errm..... you didnt have to write the bit about us asking if he is in a better place financially. Happy endings usually dont involve all the details. I am sure some of us dont really care about that aspect, as long as you stay winning. But after you mentioned it and the accompanying sentences, you took me to wondering if you are the bread winner - even though you are very happy.

    That means that you are our Nigerian Kim Kardashian oh! Finding your happy ending in the 3rd marriage. My God! Your parents are the real MVP for supporting you through it all. Really, if one marriage doesn't work we are allowed to try again. These days we are seeing alot of Nigerian women being open about trying again and getting their hearts desire. Cc: Funke Akindele, Toyin Abraham, Stephanie Okereke.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "These days we are seeing alot of Nigerian women being open about trying again and getting their hearts desire".....
      Like they ever stopped trying after one failed marriage, its the men that have been running away from divorcees, the women dont have a choice, some like the above mentioned got lucky... who even says theyre lucky sef? Are we living with them??

      Delete
  23. Poster congratulations on your marriage.



    so the long and short of it is that your husband is still not financially buoyant. Come back and tell us all this your fairy tale story again when he has made money I mean lots of it. Most Nigerian men.... it is well.

    I'm not saying he is not a good man. However even the rich ones that do not want to cheat by the time these slay Queens mean them it takes only God for them note to Fall.


    Congratulations once again I'm really happy for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chai world people.
      Somebody cannot share happy stories and go free

      Delete
    2. I left a comment saying I didnt like that she mentioned that part too. Like no one really cares if he was filthy rich or not (I mean, I didn't). But mentioning it now puts the torchlight there. Torchlight like your comment.

      Delete
  24. Mehn!! This brought tears to my eyes 😭. May God give us a love & marriage that endures through time

    ReplyDelete
  25. Awwwwww!
    This is so sweet, may God continue to uphold your marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  26. i know you are the one still financially holding the marriage but he makes you happy which is good...i pray he doesnt change

    ReplyDelete

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