Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Monday, December 30, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmm......






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRYING A SUSPECTED CHEATER


Hi Stella,
Please I need your red pen and that of the Bv's. I am currently in a relationship with a guy and he is making plans to see my parents early next year for our introduction.


My guy is very kind(to a fault),he extends his kindness even to my family, he loves me so much that he provides everything I need because right now I dont have a good job. He pays for all my professional exams and even wants to make plans for me to travel to Canada(This is a guy I have never slept with although he tells me he likes sex but will never force me to )


The problem now is that his ex keeps constant communication, she calls him at night sometimes whenever i do a sleep over due to the fact that my work place is close to his house. when I noticed this I raised tantrums and he told me right in my face that he is not sleeping with her and that the girl is a troubled girl who is sick (SS)and that she lost her mum and her dad doesn't care for them. Biko fast forward to the latest, I went to his house and I was clearing the bed I noticed an ATM card on the floor.



 I innocently said let me even check who owns it 'Alas' it was his ex's ATM. Chaiiiiiiii all hell broke loose. I am kuku tall so my voice reached the high heavens I called him a liar and a cheat then I stormed out of his house with my sister(my sister and my guy have been close friends)
He later spoke to my sister and was telling her that people come to his house and that he is free with people and he is still single bla bla bla and that his ex was there when his dad was sick and the babe is a troubled girl.


He later called me the next day saying I should leave her out of our relationship and let's move on and he has deleted her number and told her never to call him again(as am typing this thing sef am angry). I asked him what stopped him from telling me that his ex came to the house if there was nothing fishy, I told him to give me a break.


I went to his ex's Instagram page to check her pictures(just to feed my eyes) i found out she is also a chef, you need to see all the better jellof rice and ofada rice this babe displayed on her page, someone who is sick and he claims always needs drugs.


My memory just flashed back to when my guy used to tell me that he pays a restaurant to cook food for him( his ex is the restaurant na) He has been telling me it is me he loves and not his ex bla bla.


My dilemma now is should I leave this guy? Because the truth is I dont trust him anymore even if he swears he is not in communication with her again I will never believe him and it will continue even in marriage(imagine if he comes back late from work due to the traffic, I would just react irrationally because in my head I am thinking he has gbenshed the living day light out of her) but I also get scared and wonder if I would find a guy so kind like him, so respectful to me and accommodating, like apart from this lies and cheating he ticks the right boxes.

To be honest I am not a woman that can endure a cheating man walahi!






It is true that he may love you and want to marry you but it might also be true that he does not know how to walk away from his ex...Most people dont know how to do this.......Is the devil you know not better?
You will never know whether he cuts off communication with her or not cos he will better his game,you will also not know if the next man you will find will be worse....It is up to you to decide if you can deal with this issue or not..If you move on and find someone else who is not like him,you will never stop comparing and maybe wish you had stayed....

You need to have that talk with him.

78 comments:

  1. My dear pls stick with him,even in marriage issues will arise that requires grace of God and wisdom .
    Tell him to set boundaries and stop making her seem so important in Ur marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Babe your guy is cheating. The signs are there. You can deny it all you want but it's the truth. But I'll advice you stick to him coz 99% of men cheat. At least he's a cheat who takes care of you...But don't lay all your eggs in one basket though...Coz as e be, we don't know who's the main chick or the side chick btw you and his supposed ex...

      Delete
    2. Sis! I thought I was alone in this paranoia thing. I hate men who cheat. Reading your chronicle made my heart tighten up. The signs are all there but the question is.. will he stop? You said she visited him??? Ha!! Start considering yiur options ooh or you raise hell & inform your parents because if not.. I doubt the ex is really a troubled person like he's claiming.
      A man who's friends with numerous females isnt to be trusted 100%

      Delete
    3. Abeg lemme perch here. The jollof rice part got me laughing tho. Poster hope you know how to cook delicious meal as well. Maybe that will stop him from cheating and running back to his ex

      Delete
    4. Men sef..... Maybe he truly likes the other babe but can't marry her because she is ss.

      Delete
    5. This is a simple matter na...
      Ask him to call his Ex in your presence and denounce her. He should allow you speak to her and clear your doubts. This shld not be a problem if he loves you.
      Don't let the Ex take your man away from you.

      Delete
    6. Madam use ur head oooo this is Buhari regime o. Allow him to pay to masters o! Travel u may find someone BETTER!!! Just play along and collect everything no give an Fuck o! Edible catering things

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Babe, in everything, you weigh the good and the bad and draw your conclusion. If I were you, I will hold on and still watch. There is time, abi? He is not dragging you down the isle tomorrow morning, is he? Give it time and watch. By now he knows How you react to being cheated on. So, b4 you jump into conclusion, take your time. Don't break up yet.

      Delete
    2. Poster take Saphire advice... She is on point..

      Delete
  3. Is that all? I believe the ex will run away as soon as you guys get married.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lie! Some exes never leave. Infact, they're usually the unofficial wife. Sis, look before your leap ooo. Cheating is a very huge deal breaker for me. I can't deal abeg

      Delete
  4. How do you sleep over in a guys house and you don't want sex?
    How does a guy respect and treats you nice when the ex is all over his life?
    How does your sister get so close to your boyfriend and become his confidant?
    Are you sure you are preparing to marry this guy or preparing your heart for the crushing machine?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The way you guys seek perfection makes me lol...last last na robot some ona go marry

      Delete
    2. @Too blessed
      What is perfection about this comment or this poster's lamentations

      Delete
    3. Thanks ooo. Loud it pls! I said the same in my comment. How can she insult our intelligence like that?

      Delete
  5. You want to marry this guys money and not him

    ReplyDelete
  6. You have trust issues so any man would arouse such in you. Deal with yourself first before bringing your baggage to marriage. Salt walking away

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah... Poster you need to cool down sometimes. You sound like a drama queen. Reading your chronicle alone gives me headache. I can agine what the guy is passing through with your yelling and all.

      Delete
  7. Abi oh. Follow Stella's advice a beg.
    Infact contact the babe and ask her if she is SS
    From there you know what to do.
    Is she unusually skinny? SS are usually thin. At least to know if your bobo lies can plait hair or not.
    I like the part you oraised the babes cooking. Abrg post her IG handle make I o dey feed my eyes on the food.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Go and find somewhere to sit down, you this insecured bitch. He's doing everything for you, he love you but never force you to have sex with him though he love sex, all you could do is going around monitoring his ex page.
    Shouting around like a village goat.
    Him don marry you? He's still a single guy, mind your fucking business, you're not his wife yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You had to call her a bitch to send home your message. Smh.

      Delete
    2. Why do I find this comment funny πŸ˜„

      Delete
    3. Don you are a he goat. How dare you call her a bitch? Swegbe broke ass like you.

      Delete
    4. Don! Pls tone it down, it breaks my Heart whenever i see such rude comment directed to someone that is already troubled most especially someone you have never met before. Ypu can equally pass your message without insults.

      Delete
    5. Oga why are you so angry???
      You need to address ur issues so u can stop transfering ur frustration on Innocent people. Thank you😊

      Delete
  9. In as much as you should be worried, I think you're also insecure.......

    May God lead you to make the right decision!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sis! This isn't insecurity. This looks like a relationship that hasn't died. ( I mean the guy's relationship with his ex).
      How do you stomach being with a man whose ex calls late in the night & even still visit when he's preparing to meet his in-laws to-be? The disrespect. There are certain things some of us can't stomach. No vex!

      Delete
  10. Truthfully, when trust is lost in a relationship, it takes the grace of God to find it. For me, I don't trust easily, but when I finally get to trust you and you betray that trust, that's the end.
    If you feel you can't be with him because you don't trust him, pull out.it can be draining. Always wondrng what he is doing, who he is with. I Hate liars.
    But I'll suggest you give him sometime to prove himself to you, if truly he has stopped communicating with her. Be very smart and observant. Some guys are pros when it comes to playing such games.
    Stop complaining and feel free with him,but your eyes and ears must be open.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hmmm...I don’t even know what to say

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The day women start being realistic about the true nature of a man, that's the day women will achieve true bliss in marraige/relationships.

      Delete
  12. Who else noticed the tone of women on this blog towards cheating is different when the guy in question is rich?
    Just see stella’s advice.
    See the advice of the same women that blamed the other poster few days ago for marrying a cheating man and expecting him to change after marriage.
    Men hustle o please just hustle and have money because that’s the only language Nigerian women understands

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you my sister. Bible wey say moni answereth all things no lie.

      Delete
    2. Honestly I am amazed. A man is showing you he is a cheat and you are being asked to ‘weigh your options’? Yet in marriage the wives are asked to separate from their cheating husbands cos of STDs and the likes! If the foundation is faulty, the marriage will always have this as an issue.
      Many women are not fortunate to see these signs in their fiancΓ©s, you are, and you are second-guessing yourself?! Well then, maybe you should decide if you can accommodate this in marriage, if yes, carryon.
      But I would think that a man courting a woman would want to make her feel she is the ONLY one. If he is saying ‘he is still single and can be on good terms with his exes, who can even come to his house’ in defense for being in CLOSE contact with his ex, then he is not ready to be married. What if he loves her but just can’t marry SS (if this is true)? What then? You are second best? This is just a whole load of crap.
      And he takes care of you? Because he is throwing money at you? Okay.
      I am a proponent of people making their choices using all information they have at their disposal and living with the consequences.

      Delete
    3. Thank you oh. Money hungry leeches. If it were a broke guy now, the advise would have been different.

      Delete
    4. @Anon 15.15. LMAO
      I didn't mean to comment . till I saw yours. Oooh so you noticed too?

      Part of my reading SDK blog is because it gives me a better understanding of how most of our women folk think .

      when there is plenty money involved in the equation, opinions change like a chameleons skin . its funny.


      On 2 the Next!

      Delete
    5. Exactly what happened when Regina Daniel and Ned's marriage broke.

      Delete
  13. Let him go. Alot of u are saying this bcos he is supporting her financially. This guy might actually be helping this girl genuinely. We Nigerian women are very quick to interpret help or kindness as love. That is why we all are in this mess. You are seeing the signs now but u dont want to live bcos u think u might not find any better. Are u now God? Anyways if u blive that u will use the standard of the world to choose a partner, then go ahead. Don't come and cry later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the best comment on this thread! Thank you, may the universe forever favour you!

      Delete
    2. It is true that most women are quick to interpret kindness as love but what mess are we all in biko?

      Delete
  14. Iron things out with him and tell him to set Boundaries

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Alexy
      How about coppering or silvering things out with him and setting foundations?

      Delete
  15. Why do you girls equate love to spending on you, giving you all you need. Most men know that’s the easiest way to keep a girl they want to settle with. Doesn’t even necessarily mean they really love you. Believe me trust issues are a big deal in marriage. If you can’t trust him don’t marry him. How do you trust he will keep to his marriage vows
    Meanwhile why did he leave the ex
    He likes sex wow and he is really not gbenshing you so who is he gbenshing
    An ATM card is really personal so what is it doing in his house

    Dear Poster. My advice to you. Give yourself time. Time will telll a lot. Knowing what I know after 13yrs of marriage, never put yourself under pressure to marry. Cos you think love is spending on you
    My dear love is RESPECT. He doesn’t have that for you period!
    Shine your eyes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your second paragraph is the truth. I can so relate with this poster because I've been in this kind of situation before. Even now, I'm friends with a guy who's friends with numerous ladies some of them from this blog & I'm just looking at all of them with side eyes. 🚢🚢

      Delete
    2. It is a good thing the guy didn't gbensh you poster or you would have been screaming blue murder. Since he said he likes sex, maybe he feels he has to get it elsewhere since he is not getting it from you. Also he knows you like money (who doesn't) so he figures you will stick around because of that.

      Delete
  16. Just relax,dont ever make decisions when you are angry,have a heart to heart talk with him

    ReplyDelete
  17. Girl if you marry him, your tantrum go enter 3rd heaven above. You will give yourself high bp which will lead to early death.

    If you can't bear please leave him. I know you won't because you hear Canada. Oya carry go if you go manage him and the ex.

    Ngwanu goodiluck according to my late grandma

    ReplyDelete
  18. He obviously is weak-willed and the ex is a manipulator. She is good at manipulating his feelings and all he can see are the lies she keeps feeding him.

    If he still eats her food then she is a threat to your happiness. She can put anything inside and the guy will turn against you.


    If I where you I would have dealt with her spiritually not because of love o but because I don't like people feeling they have power over what belongs to me. I don't like people messing with my territory.

    This man is one of a kind whether you love him or not. He has passed the first test of the hypergamous tribe.

    To those of us who are hypergamous love is secondary, feelings are secondary. Your future and your children's future is primary.

    We also understand how to mark our territory and still remain ladylike when other women become threats.

    Don't let any one deceive you there is no fairytale out there.


    But if you know you can't stand it leave because that babe is dangerous.

    This story dey pain me sha.

    I can't imagine losing to a twat like that stupid ex. I will bury the bitch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The danger of a single story.
      What if it's the guy playing both of them.

      Delete
    2. See as you dey abuse who you nor know. Can't the guy himself be manipulative?

      Delete
    3. Continue dealing with people spiritually, you hear!

      Delete
    4. Anon 15:32 you are actually a compound fool!! Deal with who?? The EX is the one that should be feeling like her man is "being taken". You never jam my type. You would forever be miserable if you are with my ex, especially your type. Which spiritual, I swear your type can't do NOTHING. Look at you and yourself, you can't go spiritual to be successful and wealthy but you are going spiritual to hold somebody's leftover. You are not even enough for him. He doesn't rate you but you still want to die on top. You never reach me! You go run commot the relationship yourself. Hypergamy my ass! Don't go and work be paying babalawo to hook useless men.

      Delete
  19. You say he loves you, committed and goes all out for you but doesn’t have sex with you. Why is it so hard for you to believe he isn’t just being nice to a girl he once dated, is a stickler and is currently going through a rough patch? Have you ever thought he’s keeping mum about his friendship with the girl because he doesn’t want to feed your insecurities?

    Speaking from personal experience it is very very possible for people to maintain platonic and happy friendships with exes. Unless he’s given you reason to distrust him in the past, why does a troubled sickler give you sooooo much headache?

    If you don’t trust him by all means please leave him. So you will not get married and be a thorn in innocent peoples flesh.

    Ivannah

    P.S instead of being hostile, why don’t you play the “friend” and properly insert yourself into their friendship. Make his ex a friend of the family. That way you can properly monitor interactions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There’s actually nothing like keeping cordial relationship with your ex with whom you slept with. Okafor s law will always apply. Always

      Don’t allow it oh poster. Will he allow you maintain cordial relationship with your ex

      Delete
    2. Anon 15:42 Okafor’s law will never apply to people with self control and common decency. It’s false and only applies to weak people who still nurse feelings for the exes.

      Paranoid people create sneaky spouses. That is already happening.

      Ivannah

      Delete
    3. Okafors law has never applied to me. It doesn't apply to everyone.

      Delete
    4. Anon 15:42, HUGE LIESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

      It's people without self control that stuff happens to! Okafor's law kor, omoni oboli's decree ni🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
  20. Could this be another case of edible catering services?? Poster weigh your pros and cons..By now you should have your dealbreaker in any relationship you are in? But first be calm, stop shouting like a town crier all the time and have a meaningful, calm and intentional conversation with him..You guys need to communicate more rather than raising your voice because you are taller...Listen actively to what he says and not saying and then you will know your stand in the relationship..Above all be calm as a dove but wise as a serpent...I talk anything?? But you hear something ba...All the best...

    ReplyDelete
  21. My dear,He is sleeping with that girl,no two ways.He is not sleeping with you,and not bothering you about it.My dear,someone is definitely warming his bed.They probably had to "part" ways because their genotypes are not compatible.If he is serious about settling down with you,he knows exactly what to do,so I will advise you wait it out and not be in a hurry to call it quits.You have made your stand,allow him to do right by you and cut off communication with her.Be very observant and while at it,please keep your options open.All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  22. You're still dilly dallying because of the finances because I'm sure if that's not in the picture, you won't send this chronicles.
    God gave us a fount of wisdom called intuition, but even when the red flags are glaring, we decide to be foolish because we've seen a financial plan somewhere.
    How do some of you say a partner that doesn't respect you loves you?? How?? You sound too intelligent to not know what boundaries are TBH.
    Within you, you know the answer to your question.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Poster ur instincts tells u he's cheating with his ex,u saw evidences!talk to him to really know what's up before ending things with him..sometimes those ex's is just to make sure u don't move on to someone better!
    If nothing,tell him to set boundaries between u two but if u feel u can't trust him,just take a walk
    All d best

    ReplyDelete
  24. She is SS and so? Is he her doctor?

    He told your sister he is still single and you're looking at his face? Better not allow the money you're taking from him, put you in a terrible situation.

    ReplyDelete
  25. please stick with him.. a devil you know is better than an angel you dont know

    ReplyDelete
  26. You can give him another chance and watch him closely.
    You don't have a concrete reason to nail him yet. Finding an ATM card is not enough.
    Don't lose a good man until you have caught him cheating. Good men are hard to find o.

    ReplyDelete
  27. My dear, I do not want you to learn the hard way like me... I saw all the signs o, confronted him, Mr. community Penis still denied... His so called ex was the 'caterer' he claimed to always pay to cook food for him. There is even one that comes around to do his laundry and clean sometime, alas he was gbenshing her. Till 'little man" told me right to my face that I always over react, after all we were not married... lol, I just woke up from my slumber sharperly

    ReplyDelete
  28. Na man you be jara

    ReplyDelete
  29. Poster, it just might be that he's telling the truth. But I think you should also trust your instincts bc they don't lie.
    The ex might be trying her hardest to get back with him bc she knows also that he is one of the goodguys. People sing here all the time that good guys are hard to find. I think you should play it cool and really talk to him. Tell him to define their friendship and involve you in whatever help he's giving to her, be it money or even emotional support as she is an SS patient.

    Also.... Quick question, where can someone meet quality guys?. it's like they have an anonymous clique... Lol..

    ReplyDelete
  30. If truly you haven't slept with him you won't be this bothered. Cos you said he likes sex so if he's not sleeping with you, he's definitely sleeping with someone. When you come to people like us for advice, don't insult our intelligence in the process. Who give reasons for why they slept over in their boyfriend's house and why they were making the bed? Shior!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Poster please can u get his number, I want to help you caution him.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Any one who tells you that his/her ex visited them an left their ATM card please look at the person like this πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

    From my ex boom na belle, shine your eyes wella wella. If you are done with a person why inviting over to you house? The friendship should be far. Old firewood dey catch fire pass, how sure are you the babe didn't sleep at hi place?

    If he loves you than his ex let him tick to you, I don't like I am here and I m there. Pick one and free the rest. is possible the guy is so nice to you because he has not tasted the cookies jar, make sure you give it to him on wedding night. Please confirm if the stuff is active before you say I DO. A cheating person cannot change except with God, all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Billion dollar Babe.(BDB)31 December 2019 at 01:10

    Do your Best and Hope.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Take it to the bank. This guy is still connected in every way to his ex, sexually, spritually,emotionally. Your story is exactly same with mine. We eventually broke up in the first week of january this year. Started the year with heart break.Now they are even together agai very open about it. Social media picture posting and all.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Enter your comment...why not talk to the "ex"?.
    You should talk to the ex then you'll know if something is going on between them.

    ReplyDelete

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