Did you marry someone's ex and people are on your case that you should not have married him?
The Bible says one should not remarry until their ex dies?Are Pastors not conducting second marriages?Is that passage in the Bible really from God or someone just added it to spite women?I ask because this passage affects women mostly while the men move on and marry faster than you think and the women are alone....
What do you think about this?
One blog visitor said
'' I made a comment on your blog yesterday and had a few people attack me that I am married to someone's ex-husband. They forget we encourage women in abusive marriages to leave. Is it that we don't expect those women to ever find happiness and companionship in a new marriage for the rest of their lives or we hope the women find happily ever after and not the men? Kindly do a post to address this nwanyi oma. If a man or a woman is legally divorced, what is wrong with someone else marrying them?
Hmm...so you stay lonely while you watch your ex remarried, having children they never had with you with another spouse? You guys make this Christianity sound very hostile and unpleasant. Ok, let me find another religion for people like me who considered and married people seeking 2nd chance at love and companionship😎''.
Lets gist..
Atimes, it baffles me, but it has started changing.
ReplyDeleteI think is BandRs comment but you obviously don't get what she said.
DeleteAre you sure?
DeleteI know it's in the Bible and I will not argue about that.
ReplyDeleteMy own personal opinion is, one way or the other we have all fallen short and can never be perfect.
Anyone whose first marriage did not work and you get a second chance at love, by all means go for it.
Don't sit down there and 'burn' and end up lonely and depressed.
May God help us, because at the end of the day, it's difficult to get it RIGHT in all ramifications.
What about a man already with 3 wives before he became christian and joined a particular denomination we all know.
DeleteHe was told to divorce the two latter wives, that the first wife is 'God recognized wife'.
Where will the two wives start from after multiple kids? Remain single mothers for the rest of their lives?
14:39 my sis in law is on this table, she has been asked to leave, but she refused.
DeleteI don't believe in restitution. To me, it's just like atoning for your sins with your own blood when Christ has performed the finished work on the cross.He should just serve God with his three wives, bit he cannot occupy any leadership position in the church because he's not a husband of one wife 🤷♀️
Delete@anon14:39, yes. The other women have to leave because they met the first wife there. In God's eyes, they are not married to the man. So, they are to move on and remarry if they want to.
DeleteUnfortunately, because there is a serious lack of good unmarried men, it would be difficult (not impossible) for a divorcee with kids to marry a good man who genuinely loves her. That's why many divorcees or single mothers end up marrying men who only married them for some ulterior motives. These women are also least likely to speak up as the world would look down on them if they should get a divorce again.
In God's eyes? Really? You know how God will see them when even he says no mortal has the ability to see as he sees? Men married many wives in the old testament. God didn't punish them. Jesus didn't hate the woman who remarried at the well. He didn't even make that an issue. May God help us see others as he does,not how we think he does.
Delete"God recognized wife"? the Bible says that in heaven they neither marry nor give away in marriage. These same sects condone corruption and tithing of corrupt money. Stop making God in your image, its the other way round. So the other 2 wives should live a life of fornication for ever? These Pharisaic teachings in Nigeria are making people several times the children of hell than they would have been. Which pastor know a "God recognized wife"? Does he not take tithe of stolen money? As a Born Again Christian these stories sound so harsh. May God help us discern the truth of His word in Jesus name!
DeleteI don't see anything wrong in getting married to a divorced man. If he has been divorced once, no problem. More than once, naaa, I can't.
ReplyDeleteCandy, exactly my views too.
DeleteHonestly Stella I really need someone to explain this passage of the bible to me. I always say that I will separate from my husband but will not divorce him. I am a Christian and will want to make heaven. I believe I can't remarry according to scripture so why divorce when God frawn at it. No domestic violence but the emotional violence is made in hell. At the moment I am just tolerating all his nonsense because I want to have a child, even if it is one because of infertility on my part and age as well. Before you judge me say a prayer for me that this ivf circle will bring me my miracle babies.
ReplyDeleteGod grant you triplets dear....
DeleteNobody will judge you dear. The Lord will give you babies and calm the storm in your marriage, amen.
DeleteI am a Christian, divorced and re-married. I initially felt extremely guilty about getting married again because of the bible. However, after reading wide and also knowing that God loves me and wants me happy, I decided to re-marry.
DeleteEveryone quotes the scriptures about God hating divorce, does God not hate lying, backbiting, stealing etc. So why do people focus on that alone. He hates divorce but does not hate me his child and wants me to be happy.
Ma. God hates divorce yeah. Don't mean he doesn't tolerate and accommodate it. Abraham sent his second wife packing. God didn't embark on a riot over it. So please don't sell yourself short. If it ain't working, don't force it.
DeleteAs for me, before i can marry or date a divorcee i would ask what happened between the both of them that led to the divorce. Most of these divorced men have very bad characters and they will try to push the blames on their ex-wives. I met about two of them and i would say most of them have really bad characters and they tend to transfer aggression of their first relationship into the new relationship. Everything just involves discernment and prayers as some women may not be lucky with single men.
ReplyDeleteIf u want to stay alone while ur ex moves on n remarried, its ur cup of tea. No need being pained n start quoting bible.
ReplyDeleteAbout marrying divorcees, most times whatever made d first woman leave will show itself...n most times d new woman will swallow all to make d marriage work if she was d catalyst. Unless the divorced was caused by d woman n d man had to leave for sanity sake.
Thank you. Must one remarry cos the spouse has remarried? Are u guys competing for happiness? Pls do u and be happy.
DeleteThe whole thing has started changing, the divorced women are remarrying again.
DeleteThere is nothing wrong!!!! if they person involves is not the cause of the broken marriage and not a snatcher..... The divorces can engage with a neutral persons is not a big deal
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything wrong in marrying a divorcee but first know why the first marriage broke before embarking on forever journey with the person..if anyone want to stay alone while the other partner moves on,well and good..that's their preference
ReplyDeleteBeen longing to buy this book by Myles Munroe 'single,married, separated and life after divorce' there's a better explanation of this topic in that book
I do not see anything wrong in marrying a divorcee. What matters is being happy.
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything wrong in dating someone that has been divorced.are they not human beings too?
ReplyDeleteI'm in a relationship with one,apart from the looks once in a while i get from people, e no concern me. I wasn't there when the divorced happened, so why should i kee myself over people's opinion. He's a good man & i dare say God brought him my way.
He has proposed on several occasions but i want to get married after I'm done with my degree,so we're waiting.
Love is a beautiful thing with the right person, no do pass yourself, YOLO.
If " he's a good man" why did his ex wife run or was it him that ran from the ex wife?
DeleteAjuju na ese okwu
You really think he ll tell u the divorce is his fault. You think they were not nice to the first wife before marriage. What u ll say is that the money you are getting now is making u turn a blind eye
DeleteAnd you think it's in all cases the man is bad???? Some nice guys are unfortunate to meet and marry bad ladies which ended up in divorce....
DeleteThese anons ehn. You so wish her relationship with the divorcee crashes. God forbid! Evil beings abound this blog
DeleteHe's a good man and God brought him your way. You go cry better blood gnash your teeth after u Don drop two or three. No woman leaves her home without fire. Divorced men are bad luck. You better run for your life while it's yet day.You will cry serious undiluted red blood.
DeleteDivorce happens for so many reasons, he may not have been this good in the past or you think he didn’t learn anything from the divorce, he may be a changed person and may treat her better. My ex husband wasn’t so bad, his mum was terrible and he was young and foolish, I was young and impatient too so the marriage didn’t work, I’m grateful cos I’m married to an exceptional man now, if I didn’t leave him I may not have met my now awesome husband, he has remarried too and I’m sure he’ll treat his wife better and won’t let his mother cos problems in his home again
DeleteI had a colleague at work who was an embodiment of TROUBLE! She is the sickest CONTROL FREAK I ever had the misfortune to know. Babe terrorised our office, turned our boss into a recluse and we all wondered what she was like at home. Till one day her husband came to the office and wept in my boss's office that he knows not what to do again. His family had deserted him after she gave them a show-down. Eventually na she still pack her load and ogbanje komot from the marriage and lamenting DV up and down. We heard and laughed. Then another babe moved in and quickly carry bele even without legal divorce, girl no send. Neighbours, family and friends more than welcomed her.
DeleteNot all divorced women are victims and not all divorced men are the aggressors. Just make sure you did your homework. Ask questions and observe by yourself.
bad belle Anons. Well said shooter girl. they just want the relationship to fail as if he is their ex
DeleteI am a woman but please we are not saints. So let us not go there. It is not always the man's fault. Some women do horrible things in marriage. How about those who make their husband father children that do not belong to him??
DeleteLet us not be biased abeg. If a man or woman is divorced, my own is do your findings well.
Poster don't let people make you feel guilty for being with a divorcee. We act as if we women are perfect saints and marriages cannot break up because of us. Please wake up and smell the coffee, we women ain't saints, we are humans and err.
DeleteI think the most important thing is finding out what really happened before the divorce. The only reasons I can reject a divorced man is if the end of his marriage was as a result of domestic or emotional abuse (he being the abuser) and if the marriage didn't end because of infidelity.
ReplyDeleteI believe the only ground for divorce allowed for christians to remarry is infidelity. However, if a woman/man divorces because of abuse, he/she can't remarry until the other party is guilty of adultery.
That's why it's overly important for a christian to shine their eyes before marriage. Because once you're in....
What if he hides it very well n u never get to find out until u enter?
DeleteLet him who is without sin cast the first stone. What some people are enduring in the name of "staying married" is better imagined. If the divorcee is a great person - ahead ahead. Some single and never married sanctimonious brothers and sisters are joy and dream killers. Please note, I am not generalising. The bottom line is, it depends on the parties involved.
ReplyDeleteI once dated a divorce. But he wasn't truthful about his previous marriage. One day while we were arguing he told me he will send me away the way he sent his ex away. I loved him so much but he never forgives. I had to leave him and move on.
ReplyDeleteI don't think there's anything wrong with a divorcee but know what broke the previous marriage and if they are truly and legally divorce will help the new partner make rhe right choice.
We all need a second shot at love.
Please, which passage in the Bible says that one should not marry until their ex dies, I want to know that passage quoted
ReplyDeleteor better "copied and pasted"
Want to know the truth; Bible teaching, Jesus teachings?
ReplyDeleteGod hates divorce Mal. 2:16
So we do all that is within our abilities to remain with our spouses;
living out the teachings of Christ in fasting, praying that we fall not into temptation,
studying the Word of God.
But peradventure a spouse commits sexual immorality,
then, it is within the other spouse's discretion to;
Live with him and continue the marital covenant or
divorce him/her. Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:11, Matthew 19:9
When a believer commits sexual immorality, or "sin unto death,"
there are steps -expulsion from the assembly 1 Cor. 5:12 etc. and
restoration Gal. 6:1. For that person to remarry (assuming the spouse divorced him/her)
she must have submitted herself to this process of being disciplined for her wrongs and
restored. When restored, this person like a new believer is a member of the kingdom again
and has the right to marry another believer.
When the Lord talks about a "divorced woman," he is talking about one that has broken the marriage
covenant and wasn't repentant and restored. Remember the parable of the prodigal son Luke 15:11-32,
he did not even think it right to be a son but a servant, but the father received him back.
He had experienced the hard way of the backslider. Note the "ring" put in his fingers and the clean robe, thereby restoring
the "marital covenant" with the bridegroom. Yes, I speak the mystery of marriage as it relates to Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:21-33.
Please read the entire citations.
The ring finger he still uses to finger other babes. Stay dia dey quote white man tradition. YOU ARE AN AFRICAN !!!!
Delete@17:40
DeleteWhy are you typing on a "white man's gadget?"
And why are you even writing in "white man's" language?
Even the ring finger you are mentioning is still "white man's ring"
Keep disobeying God's laws for your phantom traditions.
Oh, least I forget to add, you are probably not African enough.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The Bible was written in the days when women did not have a voice. They were treated like slaves in their matrimonial homes and they were expected to endure all forms of abuses. Times have changed, time is evolving everyday. Personal joy and happiness is important. If remarrying would make you happy by all means go for it.
ReplyDeleteDo what makes you happy and always ask for forgiveness from merciful God..every body is a Moda fckn hypocrite ooo
ReplyDeleteHypocrites everywhere I tell you. It’s appalling. With their terrible skeletons in their cupboards, they still come out to judge others. Even the Bible said remove the spec from your eye first. Who are we to judge.
DeleteMost people that are divorced today never prayed, asked or even believed it will happen but since it has happened what will you do you move on.
ReplyDeleteIf you meet any one that was previously married, just be sure of what happened. Don't be carried away with their stories but be sure the person is telling you the truth. I can marry a divorcee as long as the they have don the proper thing.
Everyone need to be happy, we all need love at some point in time.
Abeg forget bible o. If you meet a divorcee man/woman and the person behaves well and is reasonably you can try your luck.
ReplyDeleteNobody is perfect, nobody deserves to remain alone without a second chance
I'm going to use my relationship as an example cos the negativity esp from those carrying Bible is fantabulous
ReplyDeletePastor Ituah is divorced and remarried his wife of blessed memory. He is proof you can find love again and he is one of the reasons I decided to date my love presently. I wasnt looking for a divorced man but he came to me...I prayed and fasted and asked God for sign that he is NOT the one but here we are...still together. We have had issues quarrelled and made up and I have tried to leave several times but he IS a good man. The circumstances of his divorce wasnt totally his fault as there was no DV or abuse of any kind but she left all the same. He has trauma from it and but now we have reached a level where we totally understand each other. Also...no sex since we met so it helped. The ex has moved on and he has too and they will be fine las las. So all of you saying it's a "sin" bla bla should please cast the first stone let's see how perfect u have it. People make mistakes and is not everyone who gets a second chance. He got it with me and by God he won't regret it. Some of you should live and let live.
🤗
DeleteWe have agreed to divorce in December, and I will remarry when the time is right.I know she will remarry too. Any pastor that quote that Bible passage for me will be ignored. Will the church prefer I go about fornication?
ReplyDeleteI know a man whose marriage crashed because his ex wife was extremely jealous that he had excellent father-children relationship with their three kids. She felt the ex was showing greater love to their kids than to her so she left the marriage. Just imagine the reasoning! Rather than be joyous that her ex was a good family man who devotes time to the care and development of the kids, she became competitive with her kids for her ex attention.
ReplyDelete