Hmmm...
INSENSITIVE HUBBY
My hubby did something so painful to me, hubby opened a saloon as a side hustle, he has another job he's doing, I on the other hand I' m hard working too but I don't earn up to 70k and we based in lag , I took a loan at work which they are removing in my salary, at the end of the month I don't have much left because I used the loan for to run some fertility test and you know how costly they can be.
My hubby has some money and can you believe that he used all the money to open barbing saloon, I begged him to help me a little but baba no gree oooooo:
The annoying thing he now did is that , I have a friend' who does POS beside hubby's shop, could you believe my hubby told the lady to be doing photocopy because we stay in a student environment, the lady has started the photocopy the POS in fact she started immediately :
My hubby gave her that idea, i am not feeling entitled but we are all humans , I expected him to give me that idea and I can even be sharing small space in his saloon because the saloon is big.
he really offended me with his attitude, I didn't know this is how marriage is , where the woman will be struggling to make the marriage work , but the man on the other hand won't even care, he's just all about himself.
Indeed it is a man's world.
I pray I sort myself out so I can start my life afresh, I have always lived a decent life, I don't know why everything is turning out like this, I am so pissed and tired I swear.
*Maybe he didnt want you around his business environment?
Have you discussed your anger with him?
Please discuss with him, what he did is not good but talk to him first to see whz he did what he did...
This is seriously serious but what's up your husband now? I think he deliberately did all he went on about to get you talking like this or literally pissed..Pele! It's well even in the well
ReplyDeleteI don't know why I always find your comments irritating 🤦
DeleteNot just you Anon.
DeleteI feel there's much communication gap between you and your hubby which needs to work on. Most times men act funny when kids are not forth coming. Pray more too.
Delete@eloquent, what the gibberish are you on about?
DeleteIt depends on his temperament but confront him mildly.
ReplyDeleteMen nowadays are wicked to their wives. If you see how everyone is praising my husband as the best good person ever on Earth and how lucky his wife is to have married him. Hmmmm, if I opened my mouth and told them what am passing through, they will run or Maybe not believe me sef. I remember when he was telling my people looking lies about me, my people couldn't believe me when I was defending myself. Chai l cried after that,and went on my knees for God to expose his true colors, which He answered. It's now his people, my people and l knew but outsiders still see him as Angel on Earth.
DeleteThis marriage thing ehn, it doesn't come with a ready made manual, you have to figure it out yourself. Please try and sort it out amicably with him so it doesn't degenerate into something else. Pele
ReplyDeleteHmmm na wa oh!! Poster I pray for wisdom to handle this...Please sit down and discuss with him about all your concerns...I just hope your husband is not doing what I am thinking...Just be calm as possible and don't discuss in a place of anger...All the best!!
ReplyDeleteMadam poster, you get wahala.
ReplyDeleteWhen we hear from your hubby, the narrative will change.
Madam did your husband approved for you to borrow loan and did the test or you just feel you can do it without him sometime the error might come from your side but your not seeing it that way try talk to your husband and listen to him. In all woman should respect why man should love abide on it.
ReplyDeleteDon't pray to be in that situation of undergoing fertility whatever.
DeleteSo her husband has to approve of her taking loan for fertility test? Are you alright?If the man was responsible, he would have contributed towards the test.
DeleteInfertility is not a game , so she should wait till oga support and raised money for test and treatment? May God bless every soul with easy conception.
DeleteMadam, from henceforth, do all you want to do to uplift yourself. I mean, to make money, have kids, etc. Men are selfish.
DeleteAMIN
DeletePlease try and discuss this wit him calmly...
ReplyDeleteThe man no reason you again, may God answer your prayer and give u a child,I believe he'll change after that
ReplyDeleteDear, marriage is not like this; at least that was not God's intention.
ReplyDeleteHumans make mistakes but God is infallible.
When marriage is built on the teachings of Christ as the foundation, the
couple submit to one another out of reverence for Christ Eph. 5:21
The driving force for this submission is LOVE. When we encounter problems
in this life, let's not begin to see ourselves as whole, unmistakable, chaste etc.
Let's first understand that God who is Love does not make mistakes. Let's also
understand that both ourselves and our spouses are not infallible. Let's rather
seek God, love him and ask him for a way out. James 1:20 "For a person's anger does not bring
about the righteous life that God desires". Anger will only lead you to evil.
Breaking your marriage won't give you joy either; Christ will. He died for you and will graciously
give you all things. Discuss with your husband, mend/build your own life and faith first.
And take it up from there.
I think the woman will be paying for space to him which if it were you , you might not want to pay because he's your husband.but then he should have told you before the other woman.
ReplyDeletesorry but you are in a loveless marriage cos i dont understand how he can be so self centered...how can he not contribute to fertility treatment for you? anyway you need to be shining your eyes from now and look out for yourself. tell him how you feel about what he has done concerning the shop so you dont live with that resentment, but it will guide you how to do things subsequently. yes no marriage is perfect but only one person cannot be doing all the work
ReplyDeleteSo aptly written Baby Oku
DeleteTruly as baby oku said no marriage is perfect. You have to do what you can to make it work, that's if you still feel like he's a good man and he's worthy of you. First thing is dialogue, insinuating is very bad for marriage, talk things through let him know how you feel. As for his business, try showing some Interest so he doesn't feel like you don't support him. Lastly pray and seek God's direction in all you do. May God grant you all your heart desires and may the cries of babies be heard in your home soonest
DeleteMaybe you have never shown interest in working outside your office environment,he might have just given your friend the idea innocently when he saw she was intrested in it.
ReplyDeleteYou took a loan to run fertility test. I thought it concerns you and your husband, how come you had to take a loan to pay?
ReplyDeleteMy dear, the woman is always at the receiving end. Let her do what she can do to have a child. Men can have children at any age. Before you know it, one hungry girl will be his baby mama.Selfish man indeed.
DeleteI don’t understand this.All the businesses he is doing,is it not for your benefit,is he not using the money to take care of you,your husband is doing business here and there and you’re complaining..how do we please some women in this life?except the man is not using the proceeds of the business to take care of his family,I don’t see the need for this epistle.Kmt
ReplyDelete👌 you saved me the energy I would have used to type. The business.
DeleteIf she is seeing the money, do you think she would be complaining. My dear different kind of men dey outside o. Every woman deserves her money, please.
DeleteSounds like a wife that is seriously in some type of competition with her husband.Your husband is industrious,you should be damn happy instead of complaining.I’m weak sha.women!!!
ReplyDeletePoster, don't give up as some men can be insensitive. Still be looking out for other opportunities. God will help us. You can start making chin-chin and be supplying to the lady too.
ReplyDeleteMust you be with and around your husband 24/7, isnt that booooring? Give him space to live. You are human too so come up with your own ideas and run it by him. If he wants to support you financial fine, if not, hustle and do your thing. Bring your part home and build your home and with time, he'll learn to respect, trust and discuss business with you.
ReplyDeleteDiscuss it with him, it is possible he didn't want you in his business premises all the time. Tell him how you feel and move on from it. Please, be watchful that the lady isn't on another level with him oh. All the best.
ReplyDeleteI don’t get it.Are you doing money competition with your husband?unless he’s not taking care of you with his money,this chronicle is meaningless.you’re angry cos ur husband is trying to make money?
ReplyDeleteIf he is taking care of her financially, will she take loan to pay for fertility treatments??
DeleteLike I always say. Men will disgrace u
ReplyDeleteBecause your husband did not dance to your tune - suddenly, it's a man's world?
ReplyDeleteYour husband is actually being smart by not giving you the money to pay for debt. He invested the money into a business that will bring in more money to take care of the family.
The guy decided to prioritise himself for once and you are resenting him for it.
As for you expecting him to give you biz idea - question is are you entrepreneurial? Do you have wherewithal to run a biz?
If you don't....your husband may decide not to give you the idea coz of that.
He probably also gave it to your friend because he noticed how she is more entrepreneurial.
Not only that....if your husband gave you the idea...you are already planning how you will take some of the space in his shop already. That's how resentment and fight will begin as he won't be able to run his biz properly.
You need to think beyond your emotional needs when it comes to business or money.
Call your husband. Explain to him you want him to support you with your loan. Tell him you know his biz is just picking up but he should kindly look into it. And ask him to kindly support. Na so ẹ be.
God help you.
Kindly support her to pay for fertility treatment?
Delete‘He probably gave it to your friend cos she is more entrepreneurial’ as in he prefers an outsider to make money than his wife making the money? Orisirisi
‘He is smart by not giving her the money to pay for debt’ was the debt money used to buy cloths or biscuits??? She ran into debt because she paid for infertility treatment!!!!
God forgive you. Your comment is total rubbish. Think properly next time before advising people. Its better to be quiet than to sound so wicked.
We are talking about husband and wife here! What does marriage even mean to some of you???
There’s nothing we won’t see with some women but I’m not surprised.I dated one that would rather I didn’t have money because she thought if I did,I would leave her.poster looks like she would be happy if she and her husband are on the same level struggling.God pls save men from these kinds of women.
ReplyDeleteWhy not discuss with your husband. Do you carry your husband along with your plans too? What I am seeing here is lack of communication and friendship pls work on it with your spouse. Tell him exactly how you feel in a lovely manner, don't you guys have sex use those intimate time to talk to your husband be vulnerable to him don't think because you are working and earning you don't need his input on the decision you take it will go a long way.
ReplyDeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteYou need to stop undermining yourself and get it together!!
Women are powerful but you need to recognize it to execute it.
I implore you to channel the anger/fury into deepened thoughts that would yield ideas you can execute, but you must not discuss this with anyone.
We are blessed with the ability to make things multiply, grow and nurture. This is NOT restricted to human reproduction only!!!
Your partner has made his selfishness Crystal clear, it’s pointless having to walk on egg shells to converse with him about this.
You have a job, start plotting on how to make your savings multiply! There are various ways…if you insist on having a biz centre, I’m sure there are other areas you can do this.
Stress would also hinder you from conceiving, stop funding the fertility checks , it should be team work (you both can go 50/50), putting yourself in debt is uncalled for!
Take care of yourself and take prenatal vitamins…
Best of luck..
Dear Poster, I know how hurt and angry you might feel, but please Don't confront him. Men react to confrontation with defense and defiance. This may not be easy, but instead of confrontation, wait for him at night, look pensive and start crying silently. Make sure you look dejected and miserable.
ReplyDeleteHe will ask you what is wrong, cry some more and then ask him how you have offended him that has made him angry with you. He will say no way and then you then you "tearfully" throw the right questions humbly but firmly.
Why the tears you may ask, it disarms men especially when they know you are a strong woman, and brings out the tender part of them. Have a heart to heart talk with him and resolve all the issues. He might even offer you a mouth watering deal you know.
Make sure you pray before you begin, so that the HolySpirit will melt his heart and also give you wisdom. Some of these men they may mean no harm but unconsciously hurt you badly. It is well with you dear. All will be fine. Your home will not scatter because of this in Jesus name.
Cheers...
Isn’t this being manipulative?
DeleteMarriage is about doing what works for you!
DeleteManipulative or no manipulation if it solves the problem.
Kapish!
Super manipulative. I fear una.
DeleteAt Yvonne and Anon 20.46.
DeleteIT is not manipulation, it is wisdom. Is she not hurting? Is she not unhappy with her husband? Didn't she come for a solution?
This is a problem, and every problem needs to be tackled systematically with the aim of successful resolution by proper planning.
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Going antagonistic with men doesn't work most times, it brings out the male ego in them. That is where many women even me at times miss it. I didnt ask her to lie, just an advise on the approach to present her case.
In such dicey situations one needs to be wise.
Cheers..
Wendixx, when you say wise, I guess you mean worldly wisdom cos this is by no way Biblical or godly wisdom. When people cried in the Bible, it was genuine cry, not because they were trying to manipulate someone else. No one is asking her to get antagonistic or confrontational.
Deletejust discuss this with him before you come into any conclusion, communication is highly essential in every relationship.
ReplyDeleteHope he is not photocopying the photocopier!!
ReplyDeleteUna done come. Hian!
DeletePoster,I advise you remove your eyes from your husband's business and focus on funding your side hustle yourself. Also, why are you funding fertility all by yourself? It should be you and your husband naw. Don't run into delbt because of infertility. The way I see it, if your husband japa tomorrow, you're the only one who would bear the cross.
ReplyDeleteFunny thing is if the wife's business is booming now, the husband would want to chook head into her business.
Poster it’s not like he refused to contribute to your fertility tests and instead spent the money on himself or other women, he INVESTED.
ReplyDeleteIt’s important to always try and be on the same page with your partner. Your husband may be afraid to spend his capital on fertility tests and treatment which may or may not be successful, again if it’s successful and you get pregnant, and he’s unable to take care of you and the child you will still send us another chronicle on how he’s a deadbeat.
You never mentioned he doesn’t take care of his financial responsibilities in the home, so he might just be trying to establish himself first before the children start coming.
Him giving that lady idea of doing photocopy business might have come from a good place and not necessarily trying to be insensitive or mean to you.
Please have a heart to heart talk with him, express your feelings calmly, don’t be confrontational in your approach. Work on your skills of effective communication to avoid more of these coming up in the future. Everything is not fight. Pray and ask God for wisdom. Sometimes these men are clueless about the way we women reason some things so try not to take things so personally.
Good luck
It is well..maybe he has a child outside and he is not bothered
ReplyDeletePOS and Photocopying in a school zone is a crowd puller, and crowd pulled is good advertisement of the salon's location.
ReplyDeleteJust think of it this way.