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Sunday, September 05, 2021


This may give us an idea of how some cheating married men think.

Couple of months ago, a colleague of mine called that a lady we both knew was asking for my number. The lady in question has been dating another colleague of ours who is married and the “Orue” of a married man didn’t tell her he was married. (Orue refers to crase man)

 The annoying part was that he has been promising the unsuspecting lady that he was going to marry her. After almost about five years of deceiving her and even going to see her family and pastor with the guy; she discovered he was already married.

She was heartbroken and needed to get confirmation from his friends. I promptly told them I don’t want to talk to her and felt she was dumb, else she should have seen the signs. Besides I had warned my colleague but he didn’t listen. Not that I am a saint then but there are certain lines you don’t cross.

I have seen high class, advanced-degree holding, seemingly smart and intelligent women fall helplessness and hopelessly for married men unknowingly. Inasmuch as I would say inexperience is a huge part of the reason why this is so; the other part of this issue is that lots of married men have become some sorts of sexual predators who have mastered the act and understood the psychology of these unsuspecting women.

So, let me just break one leg of this table that lots of married men are currently sitting one. That table will never be completely broken because the society is badly skewed in favor some of these married men.

Let me quickly make this point as I continue. The set of married men I’m talking about in this piece are not the “5 minutes of glory” type that just want to sleep with any women just to ease off. No, I’m talking of these sets that will be “happily” married and yet be keeping serious relationships with single ladies. They are the so-called 100yards husband material; the perfect suitor for the unsuspecting lady.

Some of them may have their families living in a different location or abroad, some have rotational work like myself and can adjust their timing to suit their games while others will outrightly deny their family and create the appearance of being a single guy. I see all these categories on daily basis.

Some reasons why young ladies fall victims to this…

These married men have time and patience. The married man already has a woman at home. He has benefit of already “knowing” how a typical woman behaves. He is experienced. That’s why they seem like better lovers and make better relationships. They know the right words to say; when to speak and not. They understand the shenanigans of women already and have “inside” information.

They are willing accept all “terms and conditions” viz-a viz no sex, respect my space, etc; and they patiently work their way into the lady’s heart and even soul if I may say. They bring a certain level of maturity into the relationship that will otherwise be absent in the case of a younger unmarried man. The young ladies do not stand a fighting chance.

Secondly, there is a large number of ladies having daddy issues these days more than ever before. The way they approach relationship is like war; like they are out there to prove a point. This may not be unconnected with the fact that some of them are products of polygamous homes, abusive childhood, absentee fathers and lack of love. Some others were victims of heartbreak who seem to have become wiser. But are they?

The married men see way beyond this faΓ§ade and “gra gra” and know that every human being has the basic need for love, care and attention. These men give such ladies the control they want when truly they are the one in control of the relationship. Talk about reverse psychology. Many years ago, I dated a lady who was angry with men because of her upbringing, she eventually ended up with a married man.

These young ladies need to understand relationships takes some level of emotional intelligence, understanding and that things are not always as they seem; especially on social media.

We have seen lots of ladies who say “men are scum” ending up as baby mamas, some even to married men. They never saw it coming till they were hit.

Thirdly, the good old “already made” mentality. I don’t blame the women. Some managed with struggling men only to get their fingers burnt at the end of the day. But we need to realize that with the level of unemployment and poor economic situation of the country. Many of the so called “well to do” men are already married.

How many single struggling young men can even take care of themselves talk less of a woman? Let’s not talk about the ones that will be willing to fund the life style of some ladies, give them treats, spoil them and give them the fairytale relationship such ladies crave. The numbers are getting fewer by the day. The young men have learnt the “I’m not your daddy to take care of you” slogan. But for the married men, it’s a fair game.

Lastly. Unrealistic expectations. Only you want a tall, handsome, good-fearing, humble, caring, gentle and rich man. He should know how to cook, good in bed, respects a woman and will not cheat on you. We are not going to talk about the tribal prejudices, the size of the dick, the profession of the man, or their preference of not having a future mother-in-law.

 The ridiculousness of their list and expectations is endless.

For some ladies, all that is left is for God to give them mud to go create their own kind of man.

Not that the married men meet these expectations anyway. But because of the benefit of experience and the ability of some of them to be better liars; because for a married man to cheat, he has to lie too. They have become so good at playing out the expectations of these ladies.

I’m speaking from experience because I have been there, done that. I have seen the smartest of ladies being deceived and messed up. But it is totally avoidable. As we are constantly being advised while working offshore during safety talk, I will leave you with the following words:

“Always maintain a sense of vulnerability”

Maybe sometime in the future I will give you Ladies some tips on how to identify a married man .....

See ya’all next week.



  1. Before you abuse the Poster, learn o! See this as an opportunity to shine your eye.

  2. Hmmm. So who is foolish now? The woman who married the man when he wasn't made now saddled with a cheating husband, or the single lady who is deceived into dating an already married man?

    May God help us sincere people

  3. The summary of the points you raised why the unscrupulous adulteries are going on are;
    Greed (on the part of the ladies)
    Folly (on the part of the dudes like you.)
    "For a man who commits adultery lacks judgment..."
    It is very disgusting what you and your married friends do to ladies beginning with your wives.
    What pains most is the hypocrisy of it.
    One day, you all will stand before God for judgment. Hmm.

    1. What if he repent and give his life to Jesus before judgment day?

      Abeg, we women should be more careful and watchful.

    2. @Tonia
      Of course, there is no judgment for anyone that gives his life to Christ.
      But supposing he dies today, don't you know that after that is judgment?
      So anybody's judgment day can be now.

  4. Those of you ladies that have "pastors," you introduce your fornication partners to, how do you do it?
    what is preached in those "churches?"
    I tremble o. 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
    I can simply imagine the kind of fights that will erupt in hell for unrepentant souls.
    Many will form mobs and ambush their pastors who deceived them with assurances of salvation while they were neck deep in sin. 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

  5. This table has already been broken pata pata,nothing remain.I'm really glad this information has been put out,so now there's no excuse of I didn't know,and you allow a time waster to waste your precious time,emotions,energy and resourcesπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

  6. Experience is the best teacher! That's what I always see from your write ups

    Thanks for being truthful and sharing your experiences

  7. I know someone who unknowingly dated a married man. she said no sex he agreed thinking with time she would fall like a pack of cards after two years of no smooching, sucking no nothing he left and insulted her.
    She always said even if it is a day to the wedding she would never open her legs. She said she always saw him in the dream with a wife and kids and he always denied it...

    when your no sex rule is based on godly principle and not because you want to gauge a man's seriousness the married man will regret he met you.

    1. Pray not to meet men that will marry you just to conquer you, sleep with you to their feel and dump you. I have seen such. Nothing is set on stone.

    2. True @anon 13:13.

      I almost went back to an ex who came back and was so good and seemed to have changed. I didn't know he came to take the cookie I refused to give based on my love and fear for God.

      I was clearly shown his wife in my dream. I didn't really pay attention to it, but I wasn't ready to give in considering the cause of our breakup in the first place( he cheated badly), but the temptation was high.

      Only, to get a confession from his friend recently that guy has a child and is married.

      God still saves his own. Excerpt the reason for my Chastity isn't right.

      I have left him to God, he has been looking for ways to come explain nothing...cos it's obvious he wanted my body.

    3. Davina Rose, If I wasn't married that experience would never have happened to me not by my might but by my faith in christ. That is not my story but one of those stories I hear from sisters in church groups. I am married by the way. I am anon 13:48 below.
      Scenarios like the ones you painted is why I advised everyone should please try and get close to God. He alone can reveal physical things you do not know to you and protect you. The heart of man is dangerously wicked and is only God that can reveal its true intention. A man can see you and just decide to come and cause you pain for no reason but to satisfy his selfishness however since you are close to God he would help you devour those who want to feast on your flesh and suck dry its youthfulness and cause you misery. Humans are that wicked but to be truly safe Just rely on God by having a true fellowship/relationship with him and he will help you disgrace all these agent of wickedness.

      When a man ask you for a relationship do not ever say yes by your own understanding or use your physical eyes to judge. Before you allow any man into your life take him to God in prayer and fast for days or weeks depending on how you communicate with your God. Even if he gave you a fake name describe him to God. God knows the deceiver. He would tell you any man's intention that you won't even have to say yes to the faux relationship let alone have your time wasted. He would go to any length to protect you.

  8. Very apt. Sometimes, ladies notice these signs and continue in the relationships silently praying for their wishes to come true.

  9. Mr, You do not need to give ladies who live by godly principles tips to know how to avoid married men. People, listen carefully we are in the last days. For your own good and peace of mind get close to God and watch the holy spirit reveal 'deep secrets in unsearchable places you do not know' to you.

    It goes beyond married men deceitful ways even singles men are not exempted. Some people are dating you and have baby mamas and you would not know some has a serious fiance while you are the sidechick and you will not know until the day of the wedding. The world is getting more unholy. People are becoming lovers of themselves. Get close to God and pray before you date anyone.

    If God gives you an unsatisfactory answer do not misinterpret the revelation to suit your heart desire or if God is silent after praying no matter how good looking or gentle the man looks biko RUNN!!! And if you have the gift of dream do not ever ignore your dream.

    God will keep saving you from wolves just get close to him. He will always show his children the intention of the evil one if you allow your self to be spiritually receptive enough.

    Years back before i got married any man who approaches me. The same night i go to bed i must see what God thinks about the man and his opinion. His personal always gets revealed. Oyibo will call it"psychic" but I call it was it it"divine revelation" I was always one step ahead but they never knew why. Be in Christ and see him save you from all these vulture out to ruin your destiny.

    1. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

    2. This is so true ma, I have the same gift and God has been saving me.

      My only challenge now, is knowing who 'the one' amongst the many approaching me.

      I am kinda confused.

      What do I do???

    3. I have the same gift even with people I meet during the day I must dream about who they really are at night. No man can deceive me because I already know what he wants from me in the dream.

      God always shows me their intentions till I listen and cut them off.

    4. I do not know how your dreams are. Some dreams are like proverbs and you need to ask God for divine clarification whilst some are direct and straightforward.

      If you have the gifts of dreams. After praying go to bed with faith that God your father will speak directly to you. He enjoys interacting with his babies. When you have a dream concerning what you prayed about in this instance'the one' please Do not ever think it is your imagination or doubts coming into play. Do not try to wriggle your way out of it. Just believe and obey God.

      Ask yourself
      1) was the dream concerning the guy you prayed about favourable or displeasing?
      2)did it induce fear ie. did it encourage you to go further and move closer or run farther away from the guy in question?
      3) How did you perceive him? was there any positive similarities between how he was in physical compared to spiritual in the dream?
      Let me use myself as an example. There was one guy I really liked. He was godly(he seemed) typical going to church, advocate of no premarital sex etc. Everything you can expect of a christain guy. He was from an influential home, calm, had his own businesses and was ready for marriage and yes very handsome. So asides from the supposed spiritual qualities I felt he had, other areas seemed on point. I did not even pray about it because I felt it was obviously good for me after all i had it all too. but God so kind forgave my ignorance despite that i did not pray and showed me what I did not know in my dreams.

      In real life the guy was very tall and huge like a wrestler and very rich but when i saw him in the dream he was short and looked poor i did not pay enough attention and still did not pray until i dreamt a second time.

      In the second dream the same guy gave me a ring while i was admiring it I looked closer and suddenly realised it was a rusted ring. I rejected it and did not allow him put it on my finger in the dream. He also told me to enter his car on getting closer I realised his very expensive car was parked in a miry clay and the ground was slippery. To enter that car my shoe would get soiled and the car would not even move because it was on a miry clay and not a solid ground I refused to enter his car and left. That dream showed me everything i needed to know but and i killed the desire. Some months later a mutual friend said they saw him at a party dancing in an erotic way with random ladies, spanking their behinds in full glare of everyone, drinking alcohol and smoking. It was shocking.

      Pray with these chapters of the Bible.
      Jeremiah 33:3
      Psalm 32:8
      Isaiah 34 vs 16
      Genesis 2:18 and God will speak to you.

      Married chronicle poster, please give your life to Christ and stop living in sin. Your being alive is simply God's grace. Please do not waste nor abuse it. People serving God are not stupid they know what they see. Get close to Christ and have a better life and see what liberation awaits you.πŸ™πŸ»
      He loves you why don't you show him you are deserving of his love. Let the Holy Spirit help you because you can't do it on your own or by your strength.
      Love you and holy kisses to your wife.πŸ’›

    5. 21.03 when the right person for you comes, in the same way God will reveal it. Just be patient.

  10. Poster you're not lying. God saved me from almost 5 married men, and you know what 4 out of the 5 had in common? they work offshore. The way God has save me ehhh, cos he knows my heart and how I detest having anything to do with one. Before they come close, they're very smart to know the kind of person one is and they strike

    My instinct helps me alot, a whole lot. It will just start troubling for no just reason, even when everything is perfect. But any married man towing this road should refrain from it. Cos there's punishment always waiting

  11. What punishment? Who is going to punish them, God? Cheating married are not different, they lie through their teeth. Like men some lie about their marital status, say horrible things about their husbands to gain sympathy. Some date multiple men , having sex with all of them regularly. Who is punishing

  12. Hmmmmmmmmm

    That's all I can say.

  13. This is so apt based on the chronicles we have had this week.

    Thank you but please come back and give us tips on how to spot them so we can run from them.

    Thank you

  14. I hate this writer.stop exposing us

  15. So apt πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

  16. How do we 'always maintain a sense of vulnerability?


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