The Adventures Of Oko Ashawo The Uber Driver 101

Haaa!!!... Oko Ashawo will shock you with this post!

On my way to pick up a client from the hotel on Toyin Street, Ikeja to the airport around 5am a few days ago, I stopped to buy a bottle of water.

Then I saw a gorgeous and beautiful young lady walk towards me and immediately my mind went down memory lane to what happened 3 years ago....

3 years ago, I worked with a client who came in from Kano till about 10pm. He had an international flight to catch very early the next morning and wanted me to be at the hotel on Toyin Street, Ikeja by 4am. I knew that I might not make the appointment if I went home that night because the security gates at my estate may be locked so I decided to work overnight.

While taking his luggage into the car, I requested if I could come back to his room to rest till noon since that is the checkout time. Moreover, I had not slept throughout the night and I had a trip with another client to Ibadan that afternoon. He agreed and told the receptionist that I would be coming back.

With excitement, I drove back to his hotel room after dropping him at the airport knowing that he was entitled to a buffet and I would save my breakfast money.

Around Allen/Opebi roundabout just before 5am, I stopped to buy a bottle of water from a shop and a beautiful lady walked up to me. She smiled in a most seductive way and asked where I was headed with such a beautiful accent. I told her I was going to my hotel room and she begged to join me. 

According to her, she was just coming from a friend’s birthday party and was high from drinking too much alcohol, which has made her very horny. She said all she wanted was to have s*x and rest a bit before going home.

I told her I was not interested but she pleaded and assured me that she was not an Olosho but just wants to catch a little fun. However, she would be leaving the hotel room by 10am after resting to the Cargo Terminal of the International Airport to pick up her goods, which she purchased in Dubai. 

She said she just arrived and traded in mostly bags and shoes for ladies.

 Hmmmmm…. That was really tempting and I fell for what would be my greatest regret even though a part of me strongly told me to “perish the idea”. I still blame it on the alcohol I had the previous night but deep down, I know it’s the free hotel room, free food and free knacks that affected my reasoning.

As she undressed, this girl that looked nothing more than a 24 year old hot chick suddenly turned into an old hag in my eyes. Her bra was padded, which revealed her saggy small boobs. Not only that, she also wore padded tights to accentuate her curves. When she removed her wig, I saw her receded hairline and unkempt hair. Immediately, I knew I had entered one chance as she brought out condom from her bag.

After the do, she said in raw pidgin …”wey my money”? I was confused and said I’d give her 2k. She said she would change it for me and I had better cooperate if I did not want trouble as her money is 20k, She asked if I think she is cheap and wears cheap things? She said her hair alone was over 100k, that what will 5k do for her apart from other monies she uses to maintain herself? 

Haaaa … which kain wahala I don put myself so? I negotiated with her and eventually settled for 10k.

The thing pain me well well. Indeed, I was a mumu.

*Oko Ashawo so you saw all these old signs and still did the do with her? E good as she collect the money.... 

Who told you that you WERE a mumu? You still be mumu!... Hehehehehehehehehehe