Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists - Struggling To Be Accepted By Spouse' / Lovers Family

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Saturday, December 18, 2021

Saturday In House Gists - Struggling To Be Accepted By Spouse' / Lovers Family

 When people get married or go into relationships, sometimes being accepted by the new family is story for another day.

Some people are struggling to be accepted by their lovers family and by their in laws despite the fact that they might not have done anything...






Are you in this category of those struggling to be accepted by your news or lover's family? What did you do to them? How did it start and how is it going now?


Let's gist!

68 comments:

  1. This is one of the things I'm grateful for. My in-laws are very nice people. God bless them so much.

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    1. NO BE TODAY NYASH FACE BACK!

      My husband has 2 full siblings and 2 step siblings (all same father). He’s the second to the last.
      His step siblings don’t like him and he knows. Gas lighting and the use of serpentine words is their M.O.
      I have learnt to face front and mind my business.
      Just last night, one of them sent a message across and my hubby called. After lambasting my hubby for over 30 minutes, she started telling him how she’s disappointed and offended by me. She and my hubby had a problem (my hubby was at fault) and she refused to talk to us for years.

      People of God, I reached out along with my hubby as much as we could. No reply. Now they have changed the story that why didn’t I try harder. Why didn’t I pass his back and reach out. As how? Do I know you more than your brother? Will I kill myself for something I didn’t do? Why put myself out there so that you can ridicule me and make me feel worthless? How do I owe you an apology? Pls let’s all face front.

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  2. I was seated on this table a decade plus ago. I got pregnant for my then boyfriend, he proposed and an introduction was scheduled but his dad - now my FIL and MIL(step mom) disagreed. And all hell was let loose. He got married and moved on. I ended becoming a baby mama for about 6/7 years.
    We met again divinely here on the blog, he was divorced - it didn't last a year and half and without child. Today we are married, several years now. This time FIL wanted us, the minute he heard we found each other again. But MIL and 'us' are not that cool. FIL and my Dad are like buddies, so who cares. And we have been blessed with two more children, the three we had talked about from our courtship days back when we were still in the university.
    So it is not always easy to navigate this water of not being cool with all your in laws - at least the core in laws.

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    1. Sweet story, thank God it ended in praise.

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    2. Yes very sweet @Prettiest

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    3. I had a boyfriend that really loved me but his mother hated igbo people.
      I did not really know about it till the relationship got a bit serious and I got to meet his siblings, that was the first thing they said when they knew I was igbo.
      I just acted like I did not hear them, but I quietly planned my exit, I cannot go to somewhere I am not loved and appreciated abeg.
      NB the woman hated igbo people for a very petty reason, I’m married into a family that adores me, I am grateful.

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    4. Awwwnnnn, this touched me. Was just smiling through out. Good afternoon

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    5. Awwww... Happy for you. It ended in praise. Man proposes but God....

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    6. Thank God it end in praise

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    7. Nice story. Thank God it ended in praise

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  3. That am from the north married to a Yoruba guy, is my crime on earth to think that they are well schooled and traveled 🧳. It hurts cos my family is so receptive.

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    1. So sorry about what you’re going through, inter-tribal marriage in Nigeria is sometimes not easy.

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    2. My brief stay in Ekiti taught me that one has to be wired in a certain way to marry into a typical yoruba family and enjoy the marriage. You must be someone who pretends a lot to fit in. Their notion of respect is an irony. They have respect for elders and at the same time, they don't have respect for elders. I don't know how to explain it but it's weird. My students would kneel to greet me every morning, but after 5 minutes, they'd be mad disrespectful, calling me names under their breaths.

      I have taught in other states in the south where students don't even bow or curtsy to greet, but they aren't disrespectful.

      The idea that Yoruba people have respect for elders is the biggest fallacy of all time and I wonder why it is still being perpetuated.

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    3. Mr D πŸ‘Œ

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    4. If while dating, you find out your partner's family don't like you, plan your exit. Don't assume they will change especially when they're already showing you serious signs that they're waiting for you to come in to deal with you. Which is better, going your way in peace or staying and having to deal with difficult in-laws

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    5. I am Yoruba and you are very right Mr D. My in-laws are Yoruba as well.
      FIL very lovely man, MIL and hubby's elder sis na war. Me no dey pretend, u have tried so so many times but I can't kill myself tbh.
      They really frustrated my enemy ooo πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚, I'm laughing now but it wasn't funny then..me don become bone for dem neck and I don't send, we see, we pretend and smile and gon each others ways.
      Dem want make I dey fear dem but I wasn't brought up that way, I used to use ma for my SIL, kneel for my MIL but I stopped all of that.
      May God touch all of us, I no get strength.

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    6. Chai...so sorry about that πŸ˜₯

      ..but have you tried praying?.. you would be surprised how GOD can turn it around if you try talking to him about it πŸ€”

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    7. You're so right, Mr D. I noticed this when I was in secondary school. (One of the Unity Schools then). They were the ones that were so rude to senior students and even teachers,and do things some of us didn't have the liver to. Yet they were the first to drop on their knees to greet parents and guardians on visiting days.
      My "little" mind, then, found it rather difficult to digest.

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  4. Hmmmmm, my story long, but no strength to type ,let me just summarize it.my in-laws were so against our marriage , because we are from different tribes,and also some other factors, infact they attended our wedding like invited guest, no participation at all,with a gloomy look . but all is Noe in the past, now my mother in law sees me as her daughter, she's around now and has bee washing my clothes and cooking for me because I've been down with malaria for some days, and I love her dakuest

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  5. I've been blessed in this aspect and I thank God

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  6. My own is my husband elder sister she showed me pepper,she faced me and told me the only thing she likes in my body is just my finger and my hand every other thing she doesnt understand,and many more l can't share here .she moved in with us with her five children and her maid telling my hubby they are coming for two weeks holiday and five months now she never go ,no be small thing.bvs we need to relocate now,please any bvs living within abeokuta and environs which side is cheap, safe and affordable for us to move and please very urgent.

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    1. Na wa oooo. SIL from hell. You and your hubby should leave the house for her and move to another place. Don't let her visit your new place

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    2. Huh, wahala. Good afternoon

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    3. Haaaa what about her husband

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    4. Ur husband dey that house his sister is matreating u, she is not even ur mother inlaw, nawaoooooooooh

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    5. Why are some men like this, you don't understand that when your wife is unhappy it will affect everything, you and even the children.
      Sending you hugs Anneanet, that must be hell. I've been through a lot with in-laws and still going through but I know say na to see and go later, so I no dey let am affect me.
      My home is my territory, stay your lane.

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    6. I live in abeokuta, Houses are relatively cheap in, Asero estate, Fajol, Alogi, Odo eran , Eleweran, camp , Adigbe, Elega, Leme, Ewang estate, Idi aba area

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  7. My mum has rejected my sister's husband because they are trying to conceive. My sister's hubby is nice in every ramifications. But medical report revealed that he had low sperm count. Each time my sis adviced him to go for medical check-up. All hell will break bcus he has ego been an African man. The marriage is 5yrs now and my family are suggesting that my sis should look for another husband that his current hubby is a time waster. Her hubby always claim he is using herbs which have prove to be in effective. My family has refused to communicate with my sister's husband due to his inability to father a child. This marriage thing dey fear me. and me am using postinor 2 to prevent getting pregnant for my boy friend. Life is not balanced.

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    1. Stop taking postinor the long term side effects are too numerous,go to a hospital and take preventive injection for family planning it’s safer and better than postinor,that pill is dangerous or better still stop having sex with ur boyfriend since u are not ready for pregnancy.when the effects of the usage of postinor starts I hope u can handle it.tor!!

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    2. 15:06 continue using postinor 2 to avoid getting pregnant for your boyfriend, it's like you choose to act as if you are ignorant to the effect of postinor 2 drugs. Continue satisfying your boyfriend at your own expense.

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    3. If you insist on having sex go and get proper birth control. You are not meant to take postinor 2 constantly

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    4. But you just wrote in that actress post, that women should close their legs na. I know we know the right things to do, but sometimes we don't stop advising people to do it even tho we are not following that path

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    5. Tell your sister to recommend her husband start drinking onion juice. All he needs to drink is about a shot glass daily for about two weeks and sperm production will increase.

      She should lay with a pillow or two under her hips for about half an hour after ejaculation to allow the best opportuniy for conception to take place. She should be tracking her ovulation cycle too to know her best day. But onion juice is a centuries old remedy to increase sperm production.

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    6. Natasha you always contradict yourself,the other time you wrote here that he raped and disvirgined you,that you have dumped him,so you are now having regular sex with him?postinor 2 is very dangerous.

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    7. You better stop using postinor because by the time he dumps you, gets married to another lady, have children and be happy. You will end up being married looking for pregnancy taaya. (Make I use Yoruba spell am for you πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄πŸ˜ πŸ€·πŸ½‍♀️
      Mtcheeeeew, sweet nonsense

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    8. Natasha's posts confuses the hell outta me most times

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  8. My in-laws are the best, I even look like one of them, we are like siblings. I love them all

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    1. You must be a sweet soul yourself, enjoy your marriage dear

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    2. Enjoy your marriage my dear

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    3. Wow...I pray to experience more of this blessing in marriage

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  9. I have the best in laws ever! The love and respect is reciprocal.

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  10. I love my mother in law. Very unassuming and she minds herself and her lane. Very jovial and can gist for Africa. Buy recharge card for her no matter the amount she must finish it now now.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. My inlaws are so into themselves, they never mix up but they are good people....unfortunately i lost my mother inlaw this morning.. Its well.

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    1. So sorry for your loss,may her soul rest in peace.
      Its well.

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    2. @tenderme may her soul rest in peace with the Lord.

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    3. @tendermee sorry for your loss, may the Lord comfort you all.

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  12. You see all these tough in-laws, so far you are a good wife ,learn their characters and use sense to follow them. In some cases try to be neutral. Unless the one his mama swear like " Over my dead body will I live to see you marry my son". Just get ready for battle.

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  13. I have awesome in-laws,we are like siblings despite the tribe differenceπŸ₯°

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  14. My mum has opposed my relationship with a Yoruba guy just because he is a Yoruba guy and I'm an Igbo girl... He is extremely nice to me and very humble to the core, but I'm equally losing my relationship with my mum and it pains me a lot. Has anyone being in this shoe before??? I'm thinking of breaking up with him because my mum doesn't like his tribe.

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    1. I broke up with my igbo boyfriend because my mum didn't like the idea. He loved me and would have been the best husband

      I ended up marrying yourba my tribe and my mum was so happy in the wedding but 10years later what I seen pepper in the marriage I don't even wish this for my enemy

      If only I can take back the hands of time.i would have married the igbo

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  15. Inter_tribal marriage is hard, and inlaws become monsters when your spouse is the main Financier of his extended family, he caters for all financially even elders and younger ones, they don't want to see me and my kids at family events, now they are into serious jazz, they have turned my loving husband against me, the kids and I struggle for basic needs from him, while he's paying rent and fees for others, and he dosnt make love to me anymore. If I had known, I wouldn't have entered this family. They are evil

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    1. Dearest, get down on your knees and pray. Fight for your family and husband.

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  16. Luckily, I have the best in laws

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  17. My in-laws WERE very good o, till we didn't have a child on time, then I became an evil person. They spread rumours about me and then stopped talking to me. Wanted their son to marry someone else sef and born for them. lOL. We have children now Sha and I still don't talk to them. Since they've labelled me evil, make I be evil in peace.

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  18. I forbid to stress myself about someone liking me.
    As long as l am a good person, and l show love to all, if anyone doesn't recieve my good gestures then it is their problem oh !

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    Replies
    1. Celebrant, na me and you dey this table oo. Abeg no time to stress

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  19. At first I never noticed my mother in law doesn't like me it was after I gave birth to my baby I know she doesn't like simply because, I didn't allow her plan my baby naming ceremony. Me that was pregnant for 9 month I already made arrangements that will be easy for I and my hubby and we wouldn't spent much . I and my hubby were on a budget, she simply hate me because of that even her son confirm it that the reason was because we didn't allow her planned the naming ceremony and my son first name was not the name she gave him.

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