Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Saturday, January 22, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmm.....






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FRIENDZONED BY LOVE INTEREST



Good day Stella

Thanks for this great avenue



Dan(not real name) and I met through a mutual friend during undergraduate (final year) cos I needed someone to proof read my Project then. We became so close, gisted and talked about so many things. 

The Friendship made me drop my guard, we both discussed varieties of issues pertaining both parties and the flow seemed natural. On the long-run he proposed for a relationship and I accepted after due consideration and prayer.


Out of excitement, I informed our mutual friend ( cos we were both away from school then) and then she gave me the shock of my life that Dan proposed to her, that he's not who I think he is bla bla...


I confronted Dan but he gave a baseless argument and so I asked for time to think things through as we were to resume school for our final examination and needed to be in right shape of mind so I halted things between us (reason was that I needed to view things outside me or us, away from him and was still very much in love with him even at that)

During the halt, our friendship flowed and he kept soliciting for a comeback. This lasted for about a few months.


After digging for truth and prayer , igot to discover some element of ill morality from our mutual friend (info I got from outside source and she confirmed it unconsciously which broke my heart) then we were through with our final exam.


I accepted Dans proposal again and this time was when the on and off in the relationship started.

He may be sweet, nice , sweeping you off your feet this moment and the next he may be blank and not showing expression.

We went for our NYSC in various state, I was posted to the North and He to the South, we talked, chatted on phone, I had network issues where I was posted to so I may be be reachable or offline for days and things started drifting (all this while I thought we were still together)


After NYSC I came back to the South and moved few Km to him so as to enable us be closer(while I seek for Job opportunity but was opportuned to commence my MSc).


Our communication was back to top-notch, went to visit him, he was emotionally available but felt distant (there was make out). When I got back to my base, he then mentioned that we should go back to being friends which didn't sit well with me.


We discussed about everything, why come chasing, allow make out when he knows within that he was not up for it. He said he wanted to Love me but the Psychological connection was weak, he made reference to when our mutual friend saga started ( that me not trusting him enough tampered with him psychologically and he's finding it difficult to Love me like he use to) 

We even spent Christmas and New Year Eve together (He came visiting me and stayed for a week+, we went on outings, prayer and other activities )
N:B ( No s#x has been involved so far)


My present predicament is that I can't seem to go back being friends again (reason is that I'm so In love with him)

* He's presently helping out with my MSc Project (started that before making known his intent) so I'm stuck

* Got to find out he's been busy on calls chat with another lady (which I confronted him but came out with a negative answer)


I'm presently writing my MSc final exam and again I've created a Gap, stopped calls and chat with him. ( For my mental well-being)

The last time he texted (4 days ago) his complaint was about him enjoying our friendship before I came up with relationship assumptions.


Dear Stella and BVs I'm lost for what to do, truth is I still Love and miss him.
Should I continue with the no contact rule?






**Your friend warned you didn't she? Instead of you to take her serious, you went to dig up dirt on her to Justify your dating this guy...

HE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU and has told you he wants to be friends after making out with you.... (Forget about s#x not being involved. he has seen enough and is no longer Interested)

Move on and face whatever project you are doing...Let him stop helping you cos he might end up eating the cookie and still will not date you.

Forget about this man and have a one on one talk with that your friend again and let her explain what she meant by saying he is not who you think he is.... Her revelations might open your eyes and make you fall out of love with him....

Shine your eyes!

71 comments:

  1. chai feel for u. this may hurt but you need to move on. he's confused. follow Stella's advice

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's annoying when people write Chronicles claiming that there was no sex and the handwriting is on the wall that THERE WAS SEX INVOLVED. The guy don chop you enough! He's had enough sex and dumped you. "Ill morality" indeed! 😏

      Delete
    2. Brethren please what is 'make out' cos ayam nor understanding?

      Delete
    3. As in, this your question enter me. I want to know too.

      Delete
    4. It seems like he is your first boyfriend.
      Most men cant pretend, you will always know when they are not so into you

      You forcing what doesn't exist is you hurting yourself and not giving you time to heal.
      Take time out, it's not easy, we have all been there... just move on, thank God he gave you an official break, some will keep smooching and making you go crazy.
      Please kindly disconnect from everything concerning him.

      Delete
    5. Stella too sharp .please take her advice

      Delete
    6. Afi 'ill morality', oyibo supu!😁 mai dia you are dating yasef.
      E don chop clean mouth.
      But e no fit just ghost you like that so he will make it seem like the problem is from you.
      Na guy way be that.😁
      Some guys toast for toasting sake o, some just to smash.
      They call it point and kill, nne dust your slippers, adjust your wig and move.

      Delete
    7. They might actually not have sex ooo but you see kissing ,romance,oral sex.They did all of that except that the guy didn't enter inside her hole

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. If u give him your cookie, he will eat n not marry u. Cry if u want to then move on. He loves soomeone else

      Delete
  3. He will son come and tell you how he encountered your spirit husband and was warned off you, while you will look for the closest mfm to go fast for deliverance. Lol

    Move on girl. You sound intelligent so act same. On to the next dude. Find a rebound. It always works.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't find rebound o, before you use carry belle join your Msc.

      Delete
  4. He proposed for a relationship and you accepted after prayers?
    Okay, now he has proposed for a friendship, why are you finding it difficult to accept after prayers?
    If you continue like this, he will even propose for outright "enemie-ship," hope that one will sit down well with you.
    I don't know why you girls in spite of everything you read here, refuse to acknowledge that when a man does not love you, he just does not. If he wants to marry you, he will propose marriage and not sex, not relationship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So people now propose sex, friendship and enemyship Hahahahahahaha

      Delete
    2. πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…. He proposed for a relationship and you accepted after prayers?
      Okay, now he has proposed for a friendship, why are you finding it difficult to accept after prayers? 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣. Anonymous don't kill me with laugh abegoooh.

      Delete
    3. Looooool...U are mean

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    4. Poor her. All the attempt to sound righteous to avoid bullets from the holier-than-thous on this blog.

      Delete
    5. @Saphire
      Did she also attempt to dodge Stella's red bullets? Please she is being told the truth here and elsewhere in the comments. It is quite appalling that ladies read this blog without learning simple lessons.

      Delete
    6. All you anonymous eeehπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚, NEVER a dull moment here,

      Oh dear Saphire 😜😜😜😜

      Delete
  5. I'm so sorry to say this, Dan is not for you. You love so hard and it won't do you any good forcing yourself on him, he'll take advantage of you.
    You'll find some whose energy matches with yours, cut him off even as a friend for your sanity sake. You love hard so it will be difficult being a friend to him, distract yourself by putting your time to work or something more interesting.
    You'll be glad you let go of him later in life, you might not understand now, just do it for your peace.

    Felicity

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please poster leave this guy. You be glad you did. E hugs dear

      Delete
  6. Get a grip girl! Get a fucking grip! Did he eat your placenta? Let him go, dude ain't feeling d connection, don't force it. How do u love someone that don't love you? Na jazz?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You go fear placenta eating o. Lol

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    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ no he ate her destiny.

      Delete
    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      Delete
    4. Poster I hope these comments shock you out of your situationship. Beevees all mean well with their comments.

      However I am going to give you a big hug πŸ€—. I know what you are going through because I have been there and I know how much unrequited love can be painful. It is truly like a love charm was involved but no it isn't. It is very hard to get over such love. You seem to be falling deeper but your object of affection is not even moved by your predicament.

      Don't despair my dear. From your chronicle you have a unique ability to block some things out to concentrate on more important things. That will help be your armour to help you overcome this. Block out everything to do with this man and have no contact as Stella suggested. Concentrate on building your life. Yes you can and by God's grace you will find your soul mate. Also be prayerful. You will see that you will be alright. Come and give us an update on how you have moved on and doing better. Biko wipe your tears if you have been crying. πŸ€—
      Push up's comment was so right in saying we women always know when a man looses interest in us. But I also understand that sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your brain already knows. ✌

      Delete
  7. When someone tells you they are no longer interested in a relationship, please take it seriously. If you don't, they may continue to date you, but one day one day they will still leave

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear, just learn to take your L and bounce, not everyone you love will love you back, you are not jollof rice.

      Delete
    2. They may continue to date and use her until he’s completely tired and ghosts her. You forgot to add that part.

      Delete
  8. Na real wa o and make you kukuma leave the guy man or stay with am as im friend o

    ReplyDelete
  9. For your own good, consciously kill whatever feelings you have for him. Start by telling him not to help you with your project. You can manage on your own.

    Stoping making him feel like he's the best thing after fresh air. You deserve better abeg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well she might as well take advantage of his help and after dump his ass for good. Poster sha use all your strength to stay friends with him for now. When he helps out, don’t talk about you guys relationship and just strictly project talk or other things not relating to emotions, bf and gf talk, relationship. Once you’re done with your program, speak your mind to him if you need to, get your closure and move along. And work on your emotions girl. You still sound young. With time and experience you’ll learn more about how men operate. Goodluck

      Delete
  10. Just kill the feelings you have for the guy and move on with your life. Pursuing it will cause you pain

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear poster, he does not love you. Cease all communications with that man, else you are in for a roller coaster ride. He might even have a lady he loves and is planning marriage with. He has told u his truth, accept the friendship or leave for ur sanity.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Some people are better off bin friends than bin in a relationship,u were not supposed to go into a relationship with this guy,most especially after ur friends warning.Im sure u thought she was jealous of u,and even went digging on her,what if ur friend and this guy has had a relationship and they are both keeping u in d dark? She might know him better in ways u have no idea off.ill suggest u move on and get help for ur project somewhere else,try to kill every feeling u have for him and face front.A better man will come.goodluck!

    ReplyDelete
  13. My dear please face front,the guy is not in love with you,so stop stressing yourself with the I still love him and miss him,look for another person to help you with your msc and forget about him.

    ReplyDelete
  14. That was how i was dating or loving someone endlessly,and he has married the girl he claims was just a fling (saw it on Facebook). And I'm still here too broken to even love or give audience to another. A mere mention of his name makes my heart skip till date and a flood of hate comes from within, i still wonder if it's hatred or whatever.truly there truly is just a thin line between love and hate. SO MY DEAR POSTER RUN! LEAVE HIM ALONE SO YOU DON'T END UP LIKE ME.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. are you me. this happened to me. I came June 16 or so and dude met a virgin as he claimed the girl told him June 28 and since den guy ghosted me am just finding solace hoping that one day genuine and true love will find me. this is someone I dated for 7yrs o. sometimes love is not enough and I've made my mind not to let my unborn girls indulge in premarital sex or have serious relationship while at the University for the sake of their sanity. all theyre going to face in life I've saved them now. so poster run and don't imagine you're still dating or loving this guy. it takes time yes but you be fine. pray real love meets us all Amen πŸ™

      Delete
    2. My fellow anon. it is well with us. time they say heals all things. i pray we heal and find love again where ft.

      Delete
  15. Please move on that guy doesn't love, it's hard I know but do it...

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  16. he is manipulative. lv him

    ReplyDelete
  17. Poster please move on. He is not into you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. You're doing well, please move on... don't allow anyone take you for a ride, men never finish for street

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  19. He don't love you, nnem habits actually a players

    ReplyDelete
  20. I am in a similar situation…the guy was on my neck for years but due to my previous relationship I wasn’t healing quick so I just assumed the talking stage with him. I started to fall in love with him later but by then he had already zoned out on me. He was a great friend and everyone around me could see it but he said he doesn’t have any feelings towards me again. I told him to have a rethink but he started saying I am coercing him into a relationship. I just want to move on but it’s been so difficult. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. I just pray to God to help me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just try
      Disconnect
      Avoid him or his pages on social media
      Get something to distract you

      Delete
    2. Respect yourself and move the hell on jeezzzzz. He said he no do again!! Leave him alone!! You sound so needy and clingy my goodness.

      Delete
  21. You would have listened to your frds advice, dude is a player, he only wants frds with benefit, stay away from him, he isn't a frd

    ReplyDelete
  22. Telling us there's no sex simply means you're actually lying to yourself, so we are children abi?? Staying 1 week with you drink, hangout sleeping in the same bed yet no sex ,how una dy do am with all the love wey dy your eyes huh?? Madam the truth is you're confused and you dy lie untop so I don't have any advice for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be calming down na..U know say we be babies..looooooolllll

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    2. Loll you dey mind her. She wants to act holy but she doesn’t know we know say she don spread her legs well well.

      Delete
    3. Not forgetting prayers and maybe crusade 🚢🚢🚢🚢🚢🚢🚢

      Please poster, read Stella's red pen, again and again.

      Delete
    4. It's possible the guy did not enter her real hole but they kissed,romance very well with oral sex.Na only hole the guy no enter

      Delete
  23. Poster actually there was sex, yes you guys had sex. And you're feeling so used, but there's nothing you can do. Dust yourself and move on. His heart is no more there. You even said he said, you were the one that assume the relationship. I know it is hard but try and move on. There's nothing you can do to bring back that dead relationship

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam. You nailed it

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    2. She didn't deny the sex part. What is the meaning of make out if not sex? And why will she be feeling so bad if not that they've had sex

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    3. Sometimes, "feeling so bad" may come as a result of emotional investment.


      #Poster

      Delete
    4. πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ Sometimes beevees can be like a dog with a bone. See all the emphasis on whether she had sex or not.

      Delete
  24. Madam relationship is not by force free him.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Thank you Stella and Bvs for ur warmth and hard advice.


    I will ensure to sort the project myself while working on my emotional intelligence.

    For few persons that doubted the (N.B)
    The truth is that sex never happened( thou your choice to believe)

    But I'm sincerely grateful for your comments

    #Poster

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leave them to be adding their own story to the matter na. Nonsense behaviour!

      Delete
    2. I believe you dear. πŸ€—
      You'll be alright.

      Delete
    3. Many of them lack discipline themselves, that's why they find it hard to believe that relationships aren't possible without sex. Many LOVE to condemn & judge; nobody is responsible, except them. Many do not believe that love is possible without sex. They feel the attachment & heartbreak is cos of the sex. What they don't know is that the deepest love is usually absent of sexual relations. Majority are simply miserable & looking to convince themselves that they are better off than you.

      My biggest heartbreak was from a childhood friend I dated (100% long distance). We never had even a sexual conversation yet when it ended, I thought I wouldn't survive. Leave people to their myopic, ignorant thoughts.

      I am sorry for your pain but I promise, it will pass & few months from now, you will laugh about it. What is clear is that this guy is not into you at all. Such is life. Learn from your mistakes & get wiser. Tomorrow will be better.

      Delete
  26. Thank you Stella and Bvs for the warmth and hard advice.

    I will ensure to sort out the project by meself and work on my emotional intelligence.

    For the N.B part,
    The truth is that there was no sex involve (thou it's your choice to believe it)

    I sincerely appreciate your comments

    #Poster

    ReplyDelete
  27. Pls google prayer for healing of memories and pray often or daily until you get over him. We are not just physical beings, we also have a mental, spiritual, psychological component to us. Some breakups lead to feelings of regret, rejection, grief, betrayal and despair which lingers if we don't heal. Some people stay there for months, even years. Especially women. It's very important that you heal and see yourself as a whole being who deserve the best. This is not even against the guy cos the truth is he is not obligated to love you or be with you. No one is. Being with someone has to be a free choice, both parties must agree else it becomes slavery. I hope you let go and heal. God bless!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh and just to make a general statement on something many women are guilty of. Do not fight or cut off your good female friends cos of male attention. Always know that its only one man you need to be loyal to in this life - your husband. But you will need many good friends, female friends to navigate life. Until you are actually married to him, you are not his wife. Men never cut off their paddy for their babes. Now you are heartbroken, a good network of friends would have helped you. See we are all flawed. But its ridiculous to let go of female friends for one flaw/mistake/"ill morality" and keep on forgiving a man again and again who does not want you or cheat or abuse you. Women pls lets be kinder toward each other.

      Delete
    2. Anon 23:43/01:34

      Your words are incredibly wise, peaceful and helpful. I'm not even the poster but thank you!

      Delete

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