Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE

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Friday, May 06, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE

Hmmmm.....







RE - TIPS TO CALLING OFF A WEDDING AND HANDLING A BABY DADDY



Hello SDK,

I was the person who dropped that CHRONICLE posted on THURSDAY MAY 6, 2022. It will be wise I clear the air so that people can really understand what is happening and advise accordingly.



The person pregnant is my sister she only told me about the pregnancy in January. She called to tell me that she try to see if she could fall pregnant and boom it happened. I was angry with her knowing fully well that the society will not be happy with her. So asked her what her intentions was which she said she was confused that she hasn’t told the guy about it but he suspects already she is pregnant.



Then I told her it will be best she speaks to the guy to understand if he want the pregnancy or not but no matter what the outcome maybe she should be ready to keep that baby cos I can’t be a party to abortion especially now that age is not on her side.




She spoke with the guy who agreed for her to keep the pregnancy promising to come and see our parents and do all the needful before the pregnancy start showing. He came to see my dad and declared his intention with his uncle which he requested for the list to do the needful.



The list is 5k Oga has refused to send the 5k since he visited my dad without any reason. According to her that he said very soon he will send it when he is ready. Now we wanted everything to have be concluded before or by Easter but as it stands now she is already in her 3rd trimester which is why we wanted everything to be rushed to avoid people talking.



The guy has refused to take her to see his mother always saying his mum travelled for a conference. He also kept on giving her excuses of busy with work and not finding time to go and see my elder siblings cos my dad is saying she should take him to our most two elder sisters house to see them and their husbands. The guy works with FRSC but kept on claiming no space for him to take out time and take my sister to his mom or visit our elder sisters.



Third trimester this guy hasn’t even boarder to give her money to shop anything for the baby not even the hospital list. She registered herself for the anti natal till date she said he hasn’t asked her how far with her feeding. The guy doesn’t even give her money atleast to support herself in this her condition rather he calls her to ask her if she cooks and when she said yes Oga will come around to eat and even spend a night which I know he will still browse her over night abi body na wood.



According to her where Oga stays has insecurity issues which he comes over to her place to spend the night, she stays in a self con. A Neibour is moving out from one bedroom apartment which she discussed with him to get the place since his place is not safe so that they can move in together but Oga kept on saying he will do that as his usual response.



Oga kept on saying he is interested in the marriage and pregnancy but his actions says otherwise cos to us he is not showing any seriousness with the whole process. Baby will soon arrive you haven’t given any money to buy baby things. You haven’t even seen my parents to do the needful. You don’t want to take her to see your mum so we are thinking he may be hiding something from us cos my sister has asked him severally she wants to see his mum but Oga kept on giving excuses. If you want to marry a lady you should be serious to take her home to meet with your mum.



He doesn’t give her money for food or anything rather he comes over to eat the one she prepares. No future here the reason I supported her not to enter into marriage with a man like this cos her suffering will be forever. He hasn’t said he will not marry her but his actions doesn’t sound like he will marry her at all.



She had a discussion with him about buying the hospital things and going to pay bride price Oga ended up saying she is nagging. My sister is the calm and quite type if it was to be me I will say I could have nag or complained more or even stress him to get him do the needful but my calm sister except pregnancy hormones has changed her.



I have asked her if he was like this with not giving her money or buying anything when coming around rather coming to eat her food but she said he was never like this. Saying men are terrible when they are looking for you they act like angels but once they have gotten you they start giving you attitude. She on the other side is no longer comfortable with his attitude that is why she want to coparent with him in peace and forget about the marriage.



She is the one paying for her accommodation at the moment we just wanted to know if the man should be responsible for her accommodation and for those calling us tif please stop already . I cannot continue talking or blaming her why she got pregnant without waiting for the right thing. I am sure she has learnt her reasons in a hard way. Right now I can only be beside her to encourage her and not to make matter worst , she has already made that mistake. Should I reject my sister cos she made a mistake or would you have advice I tel her to abort an innocent child at her age?



Please you all should understand she want marriage at her age but if a man cannot provide for you and his child waiting to be reminded to perform his duties still he is not willing to perform his duties after the reminder then in marriage same thing will happen.



I hope you all can now advise her well cos she will be reading this please be soft with your comments, remember her condition, remember no one wish herself bad things in life. Remember shit happens, remember who never fuck up hands in the air.



My information is based on what she told me but I am not saying my sister is perfect, she has a job she is managing but she need his support cos of the baby. I wish no baby is on the way coming she would have blocked him long time ago but now that a child is involved she need help.




Thank you all.





*Your sister has no right getting married because she is pregnant..... Both of them dont appear excited or in love...
Your sisters boyfriend sound like he has no money but does not know how to tell her and your sister is so concentrated on Marrying that she did not see the signs.......

Let her work hard to take care of her baby, i dont see this man being a part of this baby's life financially.

71 comments:

  1. Getting married cos she got pregnant, is a no no. She should have thought of all these, before getting pregnant. Looks like she's on her own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even understand what advice you are looking for.
      Even a blind imbecile can see that this is dead in arrival.
      This is not a sane society.
      You cannot force a man to do anything.
      If you are actively flinging your legs open as a woman, understand that the cards are stacked against you. Just being born a woman in this terrible, hypocritical society.
      You will suffer pregnancy, suffer labour, suffer permanant ugly changes to your body. Suffer to groom those children. All on your head. It is you who will loose jobs because you are pregnant, loose jobs because you have children to take care of.
      Better make decisions that will favour YOU.
      Not some dirty man that doesn't know left from right and is still eating free food at your table.

      Delete
    2. No. 1 the man acts like he is married or got someone he is serious with aside your sister.
      No. 2 your sister said she wanted to test herself.

      Delete
    3. She should not marry that guy at all. From the look of things,she entered one chance affair. I don't think she would see a kobo from that guy.

      Delete
    4. Dear poster,
      I don’t even understand you o, firstly she’s the one who doesn’t want the marriage, next thing he is the one dragging his feet.
      You should have led with this.

      Also, your sister is not a kid now, how can she say she just wanted to test her fertility? That asides she doesn’t know she should sit and have this conversation with him, marriage is actually not by force, who cares what anyone will say… she’s 39 and has been taking care of herself. A man that doesn’t provide food for you to eat is who you expect to provide finances for accommodation.

      There’s really nothing she can do if he doesn’t want to get married to her, she should count her losses and take care of her child.
      You all should get her emotionally ready, she needs all the support.



      #push up (original)

      Delete
    5. Yesterday she was your friend, today she's your sis, tomorrow she will be you las las. I thought ur former post made me understand that the guy was ready to go ahead with the marriage but it was you guys who weren't sure? now is the opposite .
      You clearly didn't expect the backlash from previous post so you now decided to make him look like the devil, a devil you guys still want his resources anyways.

      Delete
    6. Amicable, she said sis yesterday

      Delete
    7. Amicable 不不不不不 we all know this is poster's story na. Lollll. Make wd help am dey pretend.

      Delete
    8. I said this yesterday. Let me repeat it again. That man is MARRIED.

      Delete
    9. My bad... just checked...she actually did say sis

      Delete
  2. Tell your sister to forget about the man. Nobody uses pregnancy to trap a man into marriage. Men don wise up.

    The man too is a coward. Foolishness runs in him. Yori princess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true. She should just forget everything about him just work on the co-parenting. Also, she should stop feeding him since he doesn’t support her. She is not running a charity organization. She should save up, but 1st grade OK baby clothings and beddings(20k) will buy her a lot of things. Then for hospital, I learnt that health centers have very great doctors and are affordable for delivery, she should register there for delivery. Nne please, stay away from that man because he will drain you. He will drain you financially, emotionally, mentally and physically. Focus on your health In delivering a healthy baby and coming out alive (God got you covered). DO NOT ALLOW HIM SLEEP OVER OR COME AROUND TO EAT. That is why he is not making moves to marry you. Why pay and get tied down when he is getting it all for free without paying. Take it from someone who has been there, HE WILL DRAIN YOU.

      God’s grace and protection upon you and baby. Hugs

      Delete
    2. Poster please stop allowing this man to sleep or eat in your house for any reason, the mistake have been made. Move on with your life. God will see you through.
      Some people don't know that we have a lot of broke single matured guys, who are looking for a lady to suck dry.

      Delete
    3. Please move on, don't tell him anything. HE WILL GET THE MESSAGE ALL BY HIMSELF.

      Delete
  3. Poster,all I can tell your sister is that now she has seen the signs she can't love with,it is not late to back out. The one I married came without Kobo but I managed with him and had a moderate wedding,keying into humble beginnings and things will get better analogy,what happened? Three years later,oga is a chronic cheat from single to single mother to married women,no drive,no improvements from when we started ands physical abuse. Before,I was toying with the idea that he will change but my eyes have opened that I shouldn't be doing anything with this man. Since I left with my pregnancy,he hasn't called to ask after me or his children. Instead he is busy wooing every woman in town...your sister should brace up and stand for she and her child with your family's support because that is what is keeping me sane. At this point I don't even care to go for a divorce because I can't live with someone who doesn't value me one bit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait o, how is he able to get single women, single, mothers, and married women to sleep with, when he is broke as said. Something serious must be happening to marriages in Nigeria then.

      Delete
    2. Many entitled sex addicted men

      Many morally bankrupt desperate low self esteem women

      So he doesn't need money

      How he got the lady is how he will gets others of her kind

      Delete
  4. Thank you Stella, or the poster's sister is a side chic.
    Men be guided stay away from sex or if you do wear a condom and secure your semen.
    Because chicks are just looking for who to trap.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. He may be married or has a fiance. Tell your sister to stop giving him her food and sex. Let her lock up and save up for her baby. Let her keep him at arm's length. He is a useless man

      Delete
  5. Lost interest and didn't read till the end but it Seems like you all are more concerned with what people will say, instead of actually doing the right thing.

    I pray that Innocent baby is not born into a chaotic life.

    Goodluck to your sister.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Are you sure this man is not married but pretending to be single, from ur writeup, he doesn't look interested atall. Sis if u are reading this, pls take heart, put urself together and look towards taking care of urself and baby alone, bcoz this man is cunny to me. The mistake u made was testing ur fertile ability with the wrong man. U gambled with ur future and happiness. Anyways Go closer to God more at this crucial stage of your life. I wish u safe delivery .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Naaaa he isn’t married, trust me, a lot of single guys are like this. They want to be with a lady that has a good financial situation so that they won’t be financially responsible for anyone. He is very much single and wants to remain so if not, he wouldn’t have come with a relative. Maybe the mother has asked questions that are very real to him hence the reluctance. I have been there. God was so good I have a great job and savings. Since I fashied his ass, he has been in my face trying to get noticed. He has seen that both the baby and I are doing so well. We take trips without him. Now he is claiming all what not. Anytime he brings up a semi accusation. I draw up his chats where he said yada yada and he zips it. Uncle is very single and wants to remain so for a long time bc he doesn’t want financial responsibility. Keeps changing car every 2 years and be displaying baby boy lifestyle. Paps, trust me, he is single.

      Delete
    2. Nawooooh, some meneeeeh

      Delete
    3. That guy has a girl he wants to marry or probably he's married and his wife is in another state.
      Your sister should be strong and prayerful to avoid complication, do away with thinking now. Have your baby nd forget that unserious guy. Stop opening legs for him, stop giving him food, don't allow him sleep over no matter the sweet talk. Be strong and ask God for forgiveness. Don't give up.

      Delete
    4. My bold guess is that he is not married at all! He is just not interested I marrying her. It's that simple and very common

      Delete
    5. Aunty was feeling smart thinking a baby would tie him down.
      Not like you were not seeing so many dirty characters o but to answer Mrs and enter a lifetime of abuse is better than being single abi according to your empty heads.

      Delete
  7. At least she gave herself brain early. No one should ever go into a marriage with someone that treats ur relationship in such nonchalant way.

    The advice I gave yesterday still stands. Let her let him know she’s no longer interested in getting married to him. Then they should discuss how they can coparent responsibly.

    I do agree she should foot her house rent herself and if he doesn’t agree to be financially responsible for his child then she should cut him totally off from the child.

    May God give her the wisdom to do the right thing.

    That man sounds like a married man to me sef

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eka I would suggest she shouldn’t say anything to him. Let him be in the dark bc the moment she starts talking, he will start mapping out plans on how to frustrate her. Silence is golden and it irks such persons.

      Delete
  8. There is possibility that the man is married. You sister should forget the man, she should be strong for her baby.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Poster this man is married naaa.i understand your sis, trying for pregnancy at 39 isn't bad but her net catch the WRONG fish.this guy will never be in d baby's life.she shd also stop opening her legs to this deceiver.she shd work hard and establish her self

    ReplyDelete
  10. 1. Go and find his mother by yourself. I like to know something to the last bit. If he won’t take you guys there, st least find out his family information for yourself
    2. He’s definitely hiding something
    3. Congratulations to your sister. Children are gifts from God. She should enjoy her child. Maybe she can move home or you two share a place so she can get some help with the baby

    ReplyDelete
  11. So she "tried to see if she will get pregnant?"
    Wow! So people should just wake up and try to see if they can die and drink sniper, right?
    Wow! Fornication will never be a virtue.
    Tell your sister to REPENT and seek the Lord Jesus to find rest for her soul.
    She should learn from her mistakes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apart from fear of old age, women with a sketchy past (Multiple Abortions) often want to test their fertility.

      Delete
    2. That guy is hiding something. The babe should not marry him o.

      Delete
  12. Wait for your bride price to be paid before you allow the "tips" of that thing to enter there.
    That's the tips; and I stand by my comment yesterday.
    "Do not put the Lord your God to the test"

    ReplyDelete
  13. He is married.
    Take care of your self and baby with little you have.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Na now you talk truth. You wanted to trap the man with pregnancy, but it backfired.
    One question.. Does your 'sister' know this man to his house?
    This has 'married man' written all over it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Your chronicle you said it's even your sister that didn't want to marry. How can your sister try to see if she can get pregnant, when she wasn't ready? At that age, she would have been fully prepared to carter for herself and her baby. If she has anything doing let her just forget the guy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People it’s cater not carter

      Delete
  16. Let your sister face her life without this man. He is either married or not interested in marrying her.
    He sees her as desperate at 39. He comes to eat and sleep over, naaa you have to put a stop to the nonsense..

    Just tell him to move on and see his reaction. Don't marry him because of pregnancy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ask your sister if he had been giving her some type of financial support before the pregnancy and if the answer is a NO then she needs to be flogged cos I wonder why she'd choose to walk into such union with her eyes open.

    The truth is that every man spends on a woman that he's crazy about no matter how little. Even if it means for him to beg to see her needs taken care of he would let alone when a mini him is on the way he'd go over and beyond to see her happy.
    The mistake has been made but the best resolution would be for your sis to move on from him and take care of herself cos in her condition she needs to reduce stress to its barest minimum.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly in the world we live in
      Single doesn't mean eligible
      Adult doesn't mean sensible
      Wealthy doesn't mean generous
      Leader doesn't mean kindness

      Delete
    2. Thanks dark chocolate

      Delete
  18. Sounds like a married man!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Put more energy into finding out whether the man is not married otherwise these behaviour is strange and better encourage your sister to keep working otherwise she go eat garri as oga no go contribute kobo,na free kpeku and food oga dey look for and he has gotten it

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hmm... The man is married. Your sister didn't investigate well at all. Broke married man wey no get money.
    Just tell her to forget about marriage and side talk from people.
    She should save money and take care of herself and the baby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women beware of entitled crafty parasitic men

      Delete
  21. That man smells married. Your sister needs your support to pull through.

    ReplyDelete
  22. He is either married or he isn't financially buoyant. He knows you all know hes lying .Girl, It's either you take him as a baby daddy or you tell him to go and end the relationship now.!

    ReplyDelete
  23. She should take care of herself and have her baby peacefully, the man is a married man.

    She should forget about him and move on with her life. Wishing her a safe delivery .

    ReplyDelete
  24. A most unfortunate situation, sadly this is the case of most baby mamas.

    Only few baby mama's have the men take financial responsibility of their kids.

    Your sister should not expect much from him, she should forget about him and focus on her pregnancy and what the future holds for her.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The deed has been done . This is one of the consequences of premarital sex. Now you are unsettled. First of , ask God for forgiveness and give your life to Christ. Flee from sexcapades hence forth and face your challenges head-on. The man is not interested in the pregnancy for reasons best known to him.
    You sold yourself cheap to him. Draw closer to God and ask for His mercy.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Now you have spoken the truth - There is no ground for the alleged speculated abusive tag fixed on the man in your last post. Your sister was looking for a baby. She and the man both knew this. The man feel he has done his part. It is time for your sister to do her part. Most women who look for baby as your sister did know they would be largely responsible for the child if the man is not so keen to carry the responsibility. But apparently, your sister not fully capable for what she looked for. This man falls in the category of men who feel making a desperate woman pregnant is enough good.

    As some BVs have said, the man may be married or incapable or just palin irresponsible towrads the unborn child

    What to do:
    1. Ease does it - No nagging or verbal fights.

    2.Try and find out his work station, find a way to contact his family. out the most about him.

    3.
    2. Without

    ReplyDelete
  27. Now you have spoken the truth - There is no ground for the alleged speculated abusive tag fixed on the man in your last post. Your sister was looking for a baby. She and the man both knew this. The man feel he has done his part. It is time for your sister to do her part. Most women who look for baby as your sister did know they would be largely responsible for the child if the man is not so keen to carry the responsibility. But apparently, your sister not fully capable for what she looked for. This man falls in the category of men who feel making a desperate woman pregnant is enough good.

    As some BVs have said, the man may be married or incapable or just palin irresponsible towrads the unborn child

    What to do:
    1. Ease does it - No nagging or verbal fights.

    2.Try and find out his work station, find a way to contact his family. out the most about him.

    3.
    2. Without

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apologies. As anon 17:22, I pressed the "publish" key in error.

      As some BVs have said, the man may be married or incapable or just plain irresponsible towards the unborn child

      What to do? Suggestions -
      1. Ease does it - No nagging or verbal fights.

      2. Get him to admit paternity on video and audio as secretly as you can. If possible, let your sister take a memento (photograph of work ID, name tag or work number, snapped photograph of them bout together, etc as possible) during his next visit. This is to avoid denials

      3.Try and find out his work station. Find a way to contact his family.

      4. Go to his work place and look for a senior female/male officer and seek assistance to convince him to take as much responsibilty as they know he can based on his income. You may be lucky to meet non-judgmental and fair minded senior officers. The senior officers in military and para-military cadre rarely tolerate the kind of waywardness alleged here against this man

      5. Go to his family and seek assistance to convince him.

      If 4 and 5 fail,

      6. Go to the nearest Nigerian Bar Association Branch. Most branches render free or part free assistance to help people enforce their rights.

      7. Goggle for the nearest FIDA (International Women Lawyers Association) and contact them for help. Vibrant branches are familiar with matters such as your sister's.

      8. Go to the nearest State or LGA Secretariat. There is a ministry for women, youths and welfare in all Secretariats. If you are in the State Capital, the better. The office in charge will help.

      Any of 6 - 8 will help. If none,

      9. Get a Lawyer. Or

      10. Let go. Let your Sister gird her loins to work, and pray to God to bless the works of her hands to care for the child without bitterness. God still forgives and answers prayers. With life, in some few years ahead, your sister will look back at today, look at her child, smile, and thank God for you, this Blog and HIS mercies.

      Delete
  28. Sorry poster, your sister didn't fall pregnant by mistake, she actually did it and boom !! It happened but unfortunately with a very wrong guy. Men will go to any length to sweet talk you and get what they want . Ladies, know this and grow more sense . No time crying no spilt milk. Brace yourself dear and do all you can for yourself and unborn child. As for that Man him own dey Wait for am for. front. Dont worry... May this disappointment turn to Blessings at the end . Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  29. Buy your sister a fake ring to wear when she goes out if she feels worried about being judged. It will make a difference in how some ppl approach and treat her. Even those ones in the hospital can be very judgmental and treat single mothers poorly.

    Since your family appears loving then let you all just come together for her then. Stop thinking about the man and his plans or promises. If your sister want to really show she doesn't give one fck about this man then let her give the child your family's name, your father's name. A man who doesn't give a shit about the mother of his child or the child should not get the luxury of that child being named after him. fck him and his thoughts and feelings.

    Let your sister gird her loins and prepare for the task of being a mother. Your father is still alive and can be the male figure in the child's life. I have no patience in trying to force love or force care. I cannot in all honesty tell a woman to do this. I believe in having self-respect, dignity and pride. How low do we have to get to force a man to care about his own offspring and practically begging him, any ring or commitment received through this deep begging how is that even good for your sister's peace of mind? knowing she only got the man through hard work and extreme begging and pleading, who even wants someone like that in their life, knowing they are not even with them of their own free will. All she needs to do is forget about him, move on with her life and focus on her child. She is not alone in the world, she has a family who loves her and will love her child. Let the ppl talk, her peace of mind and overall joy is of more value than the whispers of strangers and neighbours. Let her forget that man!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Would your family welcome her back home?. She is 39 so having a baby out of wedlock is not the end of the world. Are you married?. If so would your husband allow her to live with you guys for a while. Your sister needs your family around her at this time. As long as they wont keep shaming her.

    She needs to just let go of the man for now. After she has the baby she can find a way to get chid support from him towards the babys care. She needs to STOP letting him come to her house. She should say no visits umtil he does the needful .

    ReplyDelete
  31. Abegi look after your self ooh

    ReplyDelete
  32. Abegi look after your self ooh

    ReplyDelete
  33. Don't force her to marry him, the red flags to a disastrous union are there already. She should just have her baby and pray for open doors to take care of it.

    ReplyDelete
  34. When i was reading, all i saw are the characteristics of a married man. I got nervous that the man doesn't take her to his home, he spends nights at her place. He is also reluctant to introduce her to his mum etc. The man is married. Period.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Yea, I knew it and I wrote that the man started acting up himself. Women must be very careful. Pregnancy and training a child alone is not easy at all. Don't ever let a man get you pregnant except you really want a child. Let her take care of her baby by herself.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Head is paining you and your sister

    ReplyDelete
  37. You women should stop deliberately getting pregnant for men who haven't married you. See all the insults your sister is currently experiencing. It's obvious your sister tried to use marriage to trap him (hence the rush to get married) but he's not falling for it. How would you feel if someone did the same to your own brother?

    Please end the relationship and move on with your life

    ReplyDelete
  38. Poster kindly advice your sister to stop seeing that man, he is married. If it is possible, let her relocate without informing him. If is has gut to look for him, his first point of call would be your family. With that, the family will take it up from there.. She should not marry him oooo.

    ReplyDelete

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