Hmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DEALING WITH A STINGY SPOUSE
Please BVs, Help me with advise on how to deal with a Stingy spouse......
He earns N2.1mlillion as a UN staff but I use firewood to cook, my kids watch 21inch TV, the chairs we use were bought 10yrs ago ,they are broken and torn.
We use mattresses that someone used and dashed us, it smells so bad.
He pays school fees and buys food but still he warns that food is being wasted, always counting the packet of maggi remaining. In fact a lot to write about. I on the other hand earn 150k , I save 50k and buy little little things in the house and take care of myself also, the highest he has given me is 20k . In fact I am tired!
N2.1 million a month? What!!!!!!!!!!
Are you trying to drive me crazy with this Chronicle? JESUS oooooooo!!!
I cant ask you to stop buying things in the house but please make sure your little money is spent on you and your kids alone...... what!!!!!!
Hmmmmmmm🤔🙄 this ya story ehen.
ReplyDeleteMust be spending it somewhere else!
DeleteWhat!!!😳
I just watched a nigerian movie that depicted what you are going through. Ha the lady left the man sha. Kai. So sad can't u leave?
DeleteEweleskelebe
DeleteI shout “oh what a life”
🤣🤣🤣
Poster, I shouldn’t be laughing o, but what is this?
Poverty mentality is bad
Please kindly stop using the fire wood, if he can’t buy gas then she can as well be doing the cooking.
Thank God you earn something
My only advice is that you make sure your kids go to the best schools and have the best extracurricular activities, also train them to understand that that’s not the best way to live.
I am also happy you are saving.
Push up (original)
She should leave to where?😒 Is he abusing her ?
DeleteAny small thing, leave leave leave!
Madam since he pays school fees and buys food in the house, try and buy gas from your salary pls. Don't use firewood again. It is not good to your health.
16:58 he is abusing her
DeleteShe can stay but it is abuse
Which hand hold this man? Something is wrong. Ewoo
Delete16:58 yes he’s abusing his family ! It’s called financial and emotional abuse
DeleteThis man is aka gum. Stingo to the highest level. Maybe he grew from a humble background and didn't know he will command this kind of money. So he doesn't know how to be kind to himself. Some people who had very little while growing up behave like this when they have been blessed.
ReplyDeleteI know someone like that
DeleteShe dint even grow up poor
She’s married to a very rich man, before she buys something from you, she will price the life out of it.
She hardly buys new clothes, even her mum complains.
Even her husband had to tell everyone that he gives her money o, but doesn’t know why she’s like that, with how prudent and stingy she is her husband still has side chics that love to look good.
I think it’s more of a mental problem
Push up (original)
Madam was he stingy while dating?cos you probably saw the signs and thought he would change...maybe he has a project somewhere that he's pumping the money into,why not do your findings.. thank God you're working and earning something, report him to his parents or someone he looks upto so they can talk sense into him...how can he earn so much yet his family is suffering? God abeg oh
ReplyDeleteThis Chronicle get k-leg o...if na true ehn...hmmm...na d devil himself you marry o...chai!
ReplyDeleteStart stealing his money nau!
ReplyDeleteDo you not know his ATM pin?
Go and cash out and help him spend the money...Problem solved.
I know you don talk tire,Na why I dey give you update.
When she's caught, disgraced and thrown out, shebi it's your house she'll come and live so she can also steal your things.
DeleteIf I talk now you'll start crying.
Weldone
It's called legal stealing,No one will ever blame her for it.
DeleteLmao,Me cry because of a faceless reptile😂
Application is full incase you're crushing on Kry.
Stealing from a spouse will only lead to trust issues. What happens when he stops bringing cash home and hides his ATMs? It's better to understand where/what he spends his money on.
DeleteIt's also strange how women play Miss independent while dating and start screaming when married. If you set the expectation that you are capable of taking care of your financial needs and don't check to see if the person cares enough to want to make sure you are not lacking anything you need that he can easily provide, don't be surprised if he carries on doing same when you marry him. It's important to have your own money and also necessary to ensure you marry someone that cares about you enough to spend within his financial capability to make you happy and comfortable.
You are lucky you even know how much he earns. I have heard of a guy that has become so rich, he owns tug boats and other oil and gas ventures but his wife has no idea. He leaves fake payslips around the house to make the wife think he earns so little. His wife still hustles to sells soft drinks etc and the kids go to not so good schools, drives a battered car etc. The man sees nothing wrong in deceiving his wife and seeing her suffer to support the family.
Some men are devil incarnates.
DeleteWhat! I don't believe this poster
ReplyDeleteMee too, how can you be earning 150k and you are cooking with firewood?
DeleteCan't you buy a kerosene stove?
I don't think she has her facts right. 2.1m monthly and fire wood cooking doesn't go together. He probably doesn't even have a job in the first place or is casual menial worker in that organisation and lied to her for whatever reason.
DeleteLol... For real, first thing I shouted is 'this isnt true'. My apologies poster if this is real but it's very hard to reconcile. Where do you live that you have access to firewood? For a family that earns 2m per month. Do they even still use firewood in the village except you're cooking for a crowd? Hian!
DeleteSorry I don't have advice sha
Has he always been that way while dating?does he spend on himself? Does he spend on his family? Have you given reasons to assume you to be a wasteful spender..Do you know what he treasures and spend on?..
ReplyDeletePlease,be smart..ensure you allow him spend on his kids by doing the basic...don't let him know your networth?... please,find out if he has an ongoing project,he should have something he is spending his money on
Like what does one do in this kind of situation?
ReplyDeleteAbeg oh God!!
I don't want to say I don't believe this story. As in how on earth??? Even if dem take poverty swear for ram
ReplyDeleteFor your comfort madam buy gas cooker, try giving him list of things you need at home may be it will awaken his mind to reality around him.
DeleteWhen they are naturally like this (stingy) there is hardly anything you can do because they see nothing wrong in their actions. It simply mean he doesn't value his wife. Men invest where they perceive value. Poster I will advise you not to blame yourself because you cannot force the way another person feels about you. Try praying about it and if that doesn't work start working towards your own financial liberation secretly. Secretly because if he knows he may try to sabotage you. Well done for being able to save. What your husband is doing is financially abusing you. It is very wrong. Try talking to him. If he doesn't change you may have to forget about him or else you will find yourself doing something shocking.
DeleteYou must be joking aren't you?
ReplyDeleteThank God you are working. Save money and buy the things that makes your domestic work easier and make you and the children happier. You cannot keep suffering because you married a stingy man and I guess you are not ready to leave. Save money and buy gas cooker, save again and buy washing machine. Small small you get if not all but majority of the things you need. You knew this man before you married him. He will not change except if God change him.
ReplyDeleteAll the best
Such men if u are saving and buying stuff he sees,he starts 2 feel u have enough and reduce the amount he brings
Delete18:13 you gerritt
DeleteWhich UN staff in Nigeria earns 2.1 M
ReplyDeleteAnd how did you know this?
Lol..
DeletePeople earn more than that oh, when they convert their money to naira. They are paid in dollars. Not just UN alone..
Make I no give Una update before Una go begin rush those wey dey work for there showing them fake love..
The insecurity in the country is another reason why these guys need to be protected, before them kinao them to drop money
maybe he's a diplomat
DeletePeople that are paid in dollars. Even to their accountants. Even paid more self.
DeleteThey live very low keyed lives, some choose not to have more than 1 car. With basic clothes.
You need exposure dear, apart from UN, there are other organisations in Nigeria that pay that range. You don't even have to be a diplomat
DeleteA whole lot of people in different sectors earn up to that
DeleteSome civil servants do too
Even some drink companies like “martel” and “Guinness” earn that much and they aren’t even paid in dollars.
Don’t dull yourself
Push up (original)
Go and read Wiz kids baby mamas post about her embassy job and how much she was paid. With the current dollar rate, anyone earning in dollars is cleaning out especially those software guys living in Nigeria and working for companies in Silicon Valley. Some of them earn 5K to $10K dollars per month.
DeleteDon't go there oh, some get more than that, just say u don't know.
DeleteMy CFO and those in her league earns close to 3M monthly and this is a Nigerian owned company and I know this because I work closely with accounts.
DeleteOur Corpers are paid 70k monthly dearie. These are not even outrageous pays if the country was working to be honest.
If this is true, then perhaps he has another family outside. If not, na wa oooo.
ReplyDeletePeople are really going through a LOT!
You can actually live a happy life with that 150k, buy whatever stove you like to use or electric or gas stove etc.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe that you earn that much and cook with firewood, it is your choice.
That deductively makes the claim of 2.1M a fallacy.
I just tire! I even thought she was a full house wife. Madam, buy the necessary things you need at home! How can you be cooking with firewood and you earn 150k per month? There is really no difference between you and your stingy husband.
DeleteSince you don't pay school fees and house rent, use your money to buy gas and cylinder and also buy mattresses .
I think she feels that if the man sees such he will stop doing even the little he does. She knows her man better than anyone.
DeleteThis is the tragedy of financial non-transparency in marriage. It pays to belong to Christ and live according to his word. I can go to our joint account and withdraw money and buy whatever I deem fit. Life (in Christ) can be so fulfilling.
ReplyDeleteThis is soul refreshing
DeleteYou are not truly in Christ
DeleteHow you have spoken is not Christlike
Go Back to your Bible
@16:11
DeleteI am confused. How did she speak? Did she insult anyone?
You prefer a chronicle of my husband is starving me ba?
Zaram, me too I am refreshed. May God give every lady looking for a husband
this type. And may every lady looking for a husband here live like this.
17:00 read your Bible again
DeleteFor one, how does she know the woman is not in Christ
“There is Therefore now no condemnation to those in Christ “ Christians are not immune from bad husbands or stingy husbands
Every thing you have you have by Grace
Hearing someone’s situation and saying that’s why it pays to be in Christ is childish talk. If you’d child starts acting out tomorrow, does it mean it’s cause God is not with you
Amen to your prayers.
DeleteThank you very much 17.51
DeleteI hate it how the so called Christians on this blog act like being in Christ makes you immune to life tribulations.
Ecclesiastes 9:11
The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.
Thank you 21:31
DeleteThey take pride in their humility and act like Gods favor is their doing.
Hehehehe I know someone like this, very wealthy but very stingy. I asked him once we should get detergents for the cleaner to use in cleaning the house.😂😂 He said it's waste of money, that was when I realised I had to run. He's currently married and I don't know how the woman is coping but I pity her oo.
ReplyDelete'we' should get detergent or 'He' should get detergent.. lol women ehn, why you no fit buy common detergent wey both of Una go use, na God safe the guy..
DeleteNa the 'we' wey Una dey always use describe money wey na one person go spend dey always make me laff.. when my guy got his apartment, na so him babe that year just set talk- we going to get a very thick AC cotton, then we'll also get blablabla.. all the 'we' weh she dey pan the spending for na my guy money oh😂😂..
E get one business wey j dey make plan on qey I come dey discuss am with one babe, na so she just go dey use 'we' as she dey form advice.. I say babe calm down oh, shey na both of us own run the business abi you go add money for the project? If not make you change that 'we' to 'you' osiso 😂😂..
If I no correct am now, later she go won follow me dey drag say na both of us plan and open the business together 😂😂
The 'alfa mails' will come and tell you to make your own money and stop being a liability and looking to suck your husband dry. The will ask you what else you are bringing to the table apart from pussy. Lastly, they'll say you deserve such treatment because you married him for his money or he found out some of your secrets which you had not told him.
ReplyDeleteAn alpha Male actually wants to care for his family.
DeleteNot the 'alfa mails' on this blog. You can look up and see one complaining about detergent
DeleteThey call themselves alpha males to inflate their egos but they are actually the bottom of the barrel. They are the real simps.
DeleteYou've sent this chronicle before, a few years ago if I'm not mistaken. For this to still linger till date, shows that he may never change. Check your options and do what's best for you.
ReplyDeleteI remember this chronicle too from back then, I think she mentioned that he is a medical doc
DeleteI remember the chronicle too. I had to read well to be sure it was not repeated. This is a sad situation.
DeletePeople that work there, I don't know if one criteria is to be prudent. I babysit for one occasionally has 1 car here. They don't dress outrageously, very minimal jewellery.
ReplyDeleteNa Oyibo life style. A form of assimilation methink.
DeleteGod abeg oooo. Where una dey see this kind of men. Chai abeg make una give her advice ooo. This has never happened to me. My husband wey dey buy bra and pant for me he knows my size ooo. I can't stand stingy men o.
ReplyDeletehahahahahahahaha poster sorry I had to laugh at counting maggi and stella's comment. Please pray for God to change
ReplyDeletePoster look for away to be getting money from ur hubby, infact him no go know when he is releasing the money. I will not say more than that, make enquiries, use ur tongue to count ur teeth, I rest my case
ReplyDeleteGive and it shall be given unto you. Good measure, pressed down, and shaken together...so shall men give unto you..." Luke 6:38.
ReplyDeleteAlso, "As long as earth remains, seed time and harvest shall not cease..." Genesis 8:22
The above scriptures highlight the key to wealth on earth: GIVING. It works for anyone: Christian, Muslim, traditionalist, Hindu, Buddhist, etc. Anyone. It's a universal law.
Once you are operating outside that law, your finances will be muddled up. But when you are in the law, strange favours will follow you. This includes favour from your husband. Some people will come and tell you to raise dust; tell you it is your right as his wife. True. But are you getting your rights? You aren't. So you have to get these rights by provoking them.
You provoke your husband to give to you by giving. Funny enough you won't even have to ask him. He'll just give you on his own. And that will be in quantum. Other people will equally give you. Strange doors that would ordinarily be impossible to stand in front of will open on their own accord.
Giving will also make you victorious in the spiritual. Battles you are not aware of, will be fought and won for you without you even knowing.
So, start giving to:
1. God (tithes and offerings, if you are a Christian)
2. The poor. Be very liberal and open handed. This right here will turn your life around for good.
3. Projects in your community and if you are a Christian, the church.
4. To your husband. Buy him special gifts intermittently and make him smile. Shebi you sabi the man mumu button. Or you don't love him? I'm sorry but you come across as tight-fisted. I read between the lines.
After you do all these for a while, the returns will come. And it will come multiplied. Remember, it is a lifelong activity. Anytime you stop, the inflow will equally stop. So keep giving.
By the way, seems you exaggerated some facts and figures. Like 2.1mil, firewood? Okay ooo! Girl Bye.
Akagum is a sin o x4
ReplyDeletePoster have you asked your husband for money to get those basic things. Start asking. As per your mattress, you earn 150k so you can get a new one for your sake o. Do your kids attend very expensive schools? Please investigate o, let it not be that someone is milking him physically or spiritually.
ReplyDeleteDivorce him and go with the kids.
ReplyDeleteAnd come with the kids to live in your house okwaya? Ekwensu.
DeleteNormalize collecting money from your guy una go dey form miss independent and strong woman. Asset uwa nile, with a your touch of no-liability. You see now
ReplyDeleteThe signs were there before marriage, so stop complaining.
ReplyDeleteSince you work, provide the ones he didn't provide.
ReplyDeleteIf it is chores, you will want to share it with him. So split the bill and stop complaining.
Wow. Split the bill with someone that earns 1.2 million. Obviously you are stingy.
DeleteFirst questions:
ReplyDeleteN2.1m per month or N25.2 per annum?
Have you seen his payslip or salary alert or amount mentioned is hearsay?
His he the first child/son with aged parent(s) and dependent siblings (especially University students)?
How you is only spouse and your children his only children
Where are you living?
How far is your home from work?
Is he living large outside - big car, over dressed, spending on friends, party goer, etc.
Is he a womaniser
When did he start earning this N2.1million per month or annum. Since 10 years ago or last year or the year before?
Have you visited his best friend's home. Is it like yours?
Is his family home tattered like yours too?
What work level is he. Beginner, mid-level, or near retirement?
And how old is your husband vis-a-vis your children?
Suggestions:
Find out more about the man you married.
Find out if he is building a house at home or in your city/town of residence.
Find out if he is involved in a busness.
Find out if he is not the stool of another woman, especially a woman with secondary/university age children.
Comments are better made on facts in a case like this.
Permit this - Do not steal from him. There is nothing worse than for a "stingy person" to disrespect you over "his" money.
Mr. Mann
He has 'side chicks or cocks' i guess.
ReplyDeleteHe's that type of man that likes spending for outsiders instead of his own family
Exactly. He enjoys outsiders hailing him. He sees nothing wrong in his actions but he is worse than an infidel.
DeleteThis is unbelievable!.. you must have been through a lot .
ReplyDeleteYour husband won’t change till you draw some lines
ReplyDeleteBad mattress. Pack all to the trash and sleep on the floor with the kids. Leave mattress for him and sleep on the floor if he won’t let you trash it
I’m not sleeping on stinky hand me down mattress no matter how poor life becomes. I’d rather sleep on the floor
Hubby seems to be providing accommodation school fees and most of the food. I’m not sure why you can’t take care of most of the rest with what you make With the money you make, pay someone to help with washing and buy a stove or get a second one stove
By now, I would have begged his relatives for some of our needs. People that don’t hear from inside need to be taught from outside
Firstly, I don't believe your husband earns as much as you claim because some men lie about their earnings for reasons best known to them. Infact, we just got to the root of one where the guy lied he works with a multinational with a valid ID card for proof and video calls from the office made with the lady on several occasions.The lady left her job in the US to marry him and live in Naija but when lifestyle did not match the supposed earnings, the lady did further investigations realized the guy just did 3 months SIWES at the multinational but still does 'stuff' for the bosses and got the ID through shady means. He even lodged in hotels with them when the company requires them to and made calls from his purported accommodation( mostly on weekends).
ReplyDeleteIn actual fact the guy does one low cadre job in one office like that with a ridiculous salary but the lady is the type who never believed in her asking guys financial. Imagine making her to leave her job that promised her sponsorship instead of marrying her and re-locating to meet her if he had been honest about his job/finances.
I suggest you do your investigation very very well but be very discreet because a lot is happening.
Secondly, I think if someone has decided to punish you, that's the person's problem but not with your active connivance. There's no reason you should be using firewood to cook when you can buy gas burner and cylinder. I just learnt they even refill per kg now so you can buy your money's worth.
Take out of your savings, buy gas cooker and save yourself a lot of stress pls.
Sorry for typos pls
Another angle! He may not be who you think he is
DeleteI still can't understand why women leave opportunities because of man. Why would she leave a job that can sponsor her to move back to Nigeria to marry? Why not get sponsorship and invite the guy over?
DeleteJust like the poster that turned down the nanny job at Ikoyi because her husband's ego and inferiority complex did not let him see well. If he was the one that got the job, he would have left his family without thinking twice. Na wa
A man cannot care for the children like the woman would. So if a man sees a good job opportunity, he can go and leave the kids with the wife but a woman cannot go and do one nonsense job and leave her kids at the mercy of granny or maids. The job must be worth it. See you comparing unrealistic nanny job in Lagos to an abroad job. They are not the same
DeleteThe lady that left the States is not feeling well
Delete20:39 they were not yet married
DeleteShe moved back to marry him
Dig very well o maybe he's having another family
ReplyDeleteA civil servant director in a good parastatal went to UK and my friend gave him something for me. The friends intention which I later found out was for us to be an item as the man is a divorcee. Never seen a man as stingy as him. I can't even narrate all that happened. He eats like a gulton in my house but gave me 2k one weekend to prepare soup for him to put in his freezer. When I complained. He took the money. Went to market and bought things. He was even bragging how he cheated the market women. If we make all the whole money on earth without taking care of our body. One day the body will get tired(sick) and need money for maintenance then what have you gained.
ReplyDeleteAte like glutton yet brought 2k?
DeleteHis wickedness is imported from Russia
I understand with you poster. My dad was this stingy, while mum did everything for us. Still provide and buy clothes, fed him. He was working. A director in a ministry. Until dad fell sick and couldn't move. Mum closed her shop completely, stayed in the hospital with him for 3 months, packing his faeces. That's when we knew that dad was a millionaire and you let this woman suffered the way she did?
ReplyDeleteHe had to hand over his ATM to mum cos he was too sick. He is okay now, tho not back to his normal self. Mum is eating the fruit of her labour with the ATM now. His pension, etc is handled by mum now. Honestly I'm happy for her cos she deserve to spend her husband money. Dad is good now, but he can't ask for the ATM again as mum tells him everything she is using the money for. Buy clothes for herself and him too. We went hungry but my dad had millions in his account just sitting there. Stingy men ehhhh
This might be the case with this poster's hubby. He may have millions sitting in his account while family suffer. There is a name they call such people
DeleteCursed or Wicked
DeleteHave you considered taking a break. Like find a place to go for a bit. Perhaps you have one good sister in a nice environment that can host you for a week or so. Take the kids to just enjoy life a bit. Let him eat his one maggi
ReplyDeleteI support this advice. When schools vacate, take the kids on holiday in a friend or relative's house. Let them change environment.
DeletePoster, you are stingy too. How can you be earning 150k and cooking with firewood? I earn less than half of that and I don't cook with firewood. I have kids and I'm a single mom. Na lie you dey talk abeg.
16:33
DeleteEat his one maggi and lick the wrapper sef
Ha! This serious, so where is all tue money going to na? You need to have a conversion with, I'm not saying he should spend frivolously, but people who earn a fraction of that live well and are able to save. He won't take this money to heaven o.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he has another wife and children elsewhere
DeleteMadam someon is enjoying that money oh while you and the children are suffering. Your husband doesn't love you and your children that is why he is treating you both like that. Who will have money and not take care of his family, your family comes first no matter whatever.
ReplyDeleteYou need to channel your love and money to your children and forget about your husband cos that guy will drive you crazy.
WAIT A MINUTE 🛑 ✋🏽 EVERYONE
ReplyDelete1. Stella got it wrong. She did not say per month. It’s probably per annum. Nevertheless, that’s good money.
2. I am yet to see one single advice. You guys are too too critical. Forget about how he was before they got married. We are talking about the situation on hand. What is a solution?
3. DON’T poison her mind and ruin her marriage with your overly imaginative mind and start a problem where there’s none. He doesn’t necessarily have to have another family somewhere.
4. Solution- Prayer? Talking to someone he respects for intervention? Putting your thoughts in writing n presenting it to him along with a list of suggestions which can alleviate your stress / distress. Visit friends, let him see how his peers are living? Plan for the future with him so he knows you understands the importance of savings too. Stop spending your own money. Instead give him a list of what you need
Before I got to your comment, I saw plenty advice so you either didn’t read or you just wanted to judge
DeleteIt's a spirit
DeleteIt is twins with wickedness
Simple deduction will tell you he earns 2.1M monthly. Poster earns 150k monthly which amounts to 1.8M per annum. If you assume her husband earns 2.1 per annum, that means he earns 175k per month. If the difference in both salaries is 25k, I don't think we would be reading this story. It's obviously 2.1M per month, hence the outrage.
DeleteI can't imagine having a job and using firewood to cook? Na so you like suffer! Madam go and buy gas with your money. This chronicle is annoying abeg .
ReplyDeleteAs for that stingy husband of yours,report him to his and your family.He should have a certain amount of money he gives you every month for upkeep.
I always read all the comments but not today can't bear even reading up to 5 comments. This Chronicle is so upsetting. So this man gets that much and you are there writing a Chronicle. If it was me, whether i have strength or not i would just beat the man up. Or i would be shouting everyday, the man would have no peace! You are even cooking on firewood!
ReplyDeleteFiction I believe, 🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️
ReplyDeleteIt happens live. There was one rich man like that. This man owns a company. His family lives in one of his mansions but he hardly gives his wife and children shishi. The children are always thinking up ways to get money from their dad and don't mind stealing from him. They resent their father deeply, especially as they see him playing the cheerful giver to outsiders.
DeleteSweetheart, in a less than ideal situation, you have to find a way to find peace with your situation as much as it's humanly possible. You have a husband you can't rely on for financial support, it sucks but it could be worse. You're lucky to earn some money at the end of the month. You don't pay rent nor your children's school fees, you don't have to pay for foodstuff. Believe it or not, that's a blessing. Your basic NEEDS are taken care of, your WANTS are not.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to have peace in that marriage and not be plagued with several stress-induced medical conditions, look the other way. Take your eyes and your conscious mind from his money. Darling, I know it's not fair but you have to survive and create a happy environment for the kids, your husband included. Trying to nag or making life miserable for him will be counterproductive. You will be harbouring so much negative energy and negativity corrodes the container.
Once you train your mind to ignore his money, you will realise that you can start saving up to buy the things you need in the house. I'm guessing your cooking with firewood is some sort of passive aggression? Perhaps he will see how you're suffering and be forced to intervene? Apparently, it's not working. It's time to take care of yourself and your health, refurbish your kitchen gradually. Start with getting a kerosene stove then save to upgrade to a gas stove.
I have never believed in treating people the way they treat you. I always try to do what's right according to my moral compass regardless of whether or not it will be reciprocated. I will not advise you to be mean to your husband, as long as he is still your husband, be gracious to him regardless. There are some men who will refuse to pay the bills or insist on the wives footing part of the bills. You stated that the highest amount he has given you is N20,000? At least he gives you something, no? There's probably more to this story and a reason why he acts the way he does.
Stop waiting for him to furnish the house to your standard. I believe with time, you can start changing the furniture. Try as much as you can to create happiness for your kids. Resist the urge to badmouth their dad to their hearing. That's probably one of the worst things a mum can do to her kids. When life gives you lemons... I wish you the very best, honey.
e-hugs and kisses.
You're an inspiration Ronalda. I love you ma'am. You're full of wisdom and your words are so comforting and soothing to the soul.
DeleteThis is so disheartening....
ReplyDeleteHmmmm..where una dey jam all these kind man.. I'm sure he is spending the money somewhere else.. pretty sure of that.
Guy man don dey travel from one place to another and the experience gotten is what is making him spend much outside and little inside.
Wayre man
I have seen his type first hand. Worth millions but wife cooking with firewood. No allowances to his wife or children. Infact this one will buy foodstuff himself - sometimes taking days to buy while the house is dry. And no, he wasn’t always like that.
ReplyDeletePoster the practical advise I can give you is to steal his money while you wait for him to change (which may never happen btw). Start saving aggressively. He does not love you or your children (anymore, if he ever did) so start planning for your future. I will not say leave now. You can do so when you are ready. Just start preparing your mind for any eventualities. Drastically Inflate the cost of things he pays for and save the difference. When you ask and he says he doesn’t have, check his hiding places when you can and take from what you see - after all he doesn’t have. Develop yourself. Build your earning power. Take care of your physical and mental well-being so that you have a wholesome life and this wicked man becomes a minor irritation and not the center of your world. Do not be in a hurry to leave him but bear in mind that he may decide to frustrate you even more, so begin to prepare so that if things get worse you can stand on your own with pride. I wish you well.
The way people can find ways to frustrate and stress their spouses intentionally and maliciously is unbelievable
DeleteEvil people
Poster you self like the suffering, this things you mentioned ain't really expensive to buy na, you can get table top gas as low as 7k and other petty things.why suffer yourself more because of a stingy man? It's not worth it .do the little you can... Me I will go and agree with the head of that school to add extra funds to my kids school fees, yes they will print it out like the original,do same with hospital bills too,are u staying in your house to you are a tenant? since he wants to be stingy find means to chop his money, he is your husband, u ain't no slave. Wise up madam but please don't be using firewood all the time, it disturbs the eye and respiratory system.
ReplyDeleteThe woman is even more stingy than her horseband. Imagine cooking with firewood, sleeping in smelly matress when she works and earns 150k and horseband pays the basic bills. Madam keep suffering you hear?
DeletePlease how can I get the link to the chronicle of the husband that spends more time with his ex wife and kids more than his wife?
ReplyDeleteSomeone I know if going through something similar and I want to show her that she is not paranoid.
Thanks
Just type it on google add on Stella blog
DeleteYou will see it
I think I've come across this chronicle before...
ReplyDeleteHe might have signed a deal with the devil for this condition he is in. I’ve heard of people who entered very evil covenants to get certain things. So dig deeper by praying. Then see how you can get out of it. Check on YouTube for this message: The mystery of deliverance by Joshua Selman (part 1-4) and get you and your entire household out of the hands of the devil. All the best.
ReplyDeletePls try and buy mattress cover - I don't know if it is sold in Nigeria but you can check online. Just wrap the mattress in mattress cover at least, cos it's not healthy to use a used/smelly mattress without covering. Also try and buy a stove, even if it is to ask your family/siblings for help. Firewood and its smoke is not very healthy for your eyes and quality of life. Thirdly I'm not sure if the stated salary is monthly or yearly...if monthly - unless you have seen the receipts, he may not be earning that much. Financial status dishonesty is very common among Nigerians - both males and females. Finally try and dialogue with him. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteSurprised no one has considered if she's a hidden wife and he has a main family who he spends his money on
ReplyDelete