Hmmm
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SEVERE PUNISHMENT
I have a neighbor that is always hitting her kids, two kids; 3 yrs and an almost 2yrs old. She constantly uses this mean voice when they do wrong(typical toddler mischief) and doesn’t hesitate to hit them with cane and slippers.
I have a neighbor that is always hitting her kids, two kids; 3 yrs and an almost 2yrs old. She constantly uses this mean voice when they do wrong(typical toddler mischief) and doesn’t hesitate to hit them with cane and slippers.
She also used shaming and beating as her own potty training method, whenever they messed up on themselves she and her maid would sing songs to shame them for peeing or pooping on themselves or even Beating them so they would ‘learn’ not to continue doing it. I always criticize her whenever I witness as this keeps breaking my heart for the young children she would always say I should continue raising my own children with “oyibo” method of (talking over their wrong doings with them and being intentional with discipline) she said all children raised that way grow up spoilt and disrespectful while she on the other hand was raised same way she is raising her kids and she turned out well.
My 5yr old is so scared of her and I even pointed that out to her and she told me she likes it that way as kids would always be In their best behavior around her.
I love her kids so much like my own, one of them is actually my god daughter and it breaks my heart each time I see her being so harsh on them, especially the 3 yr old.
I always tell her to let kids be kids that they would outgrow most of these things but no, she never spares the rod at the slightest mishap. Do I just face my own children and mind my business ?
*I hate to say this but you need to mind your business since she is not listening to you to avoid falling out with her.....
I would have advised that you report her to the appropriate authority but she will know you are the one...
#However if you noice injuries on the body of the ids then dont mind your business anymore, look for a way to either confront her or report...I hate this kind of discipline...Most of us had it nd have scars to show for it and it is God that saved those that were not maimed or died from it......
The biggest problem with parenting in Nigeria is this 90% of parents have mental health issues which goes unresolved. U see this beating of infants is how it starts and it gets worse... How bad you may ask... It get to mother I repeat mother's putting pepper in the genitals and anus of duagther pre and post menstral ages. While the father's use their authority to abuse the wards sexual or otherwise. Father's steipping there own biological child naked and flogging them. We have all lost our way. Pre-colonialism we never did this physical abused was learnt from another culture, one of hate and segregation
ReplyDelete@Jack, typical naija mentality! You gotta to blame another culture, probably the colonial masters for teaching Africans hate and segregation.(sic)
Delete90 percent ke?
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So you learnt oyibo culture strips kids naked and flogs them? Hahahahahaha
DeleteVery true @Jack Hammer. I also experience that kind painful treatment growing up from my parents experiencely mom. where in my home your head most be down when you are been talk to, you can not look an elder in the eyes, you are only allowed to speak when you are ask to, you are not allowed to play or relate with any neighbors child, and my Mom would strip us both boys and girls, tie your hands and legs rob ground ginger on our whole body including the face and genital, lay you on the table before flogging the daylight out of you when you commit an offense or go against her instructions. Hmmmm.. it was not funny all at that time and am still trying to recover from it.
DeleteIt's a very bad culture please try to mind your business but silently pray 🙏 for her and her kid's as she might not know what she is doing is very 😔 bad
DeleteShe is scarring those children....Please don't keep quiet on this...Please send a DM on IG to Nedu Wazobia or Aunty Landa you will get help....I hate when people maltreat children, like why do so to defenseless children....She might have an underlining mental illness having undergone her own fair share of abuse....The woman no get husband ni? Have you reported this to her husband...Please do something to help those defendless children I beg you....All the best...
ReplyDeleteI have overheard him once scolding her for beating the 3yr old while helping her with her homework because she wasn’t catching up the way she expected her. But Her husband lives abroad and only comes back 2-3 times a yr.
DeleteMehn she's strict sha.. hope she doesn't damage the kids during this process thinking she's instilling morals in them . Pray they turn out very well in life .. e no easy to be parent o. God help every mother's out there
ReplyDeleteSeriously serious 😒 😑 🙄
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm!!
It is well with una both
This is Nigeria and their mindset Abt child training is very disheartening. Where am currently staying, I see a mother beating a child for almost an hour and constantly hitting the child's head on the wall.
ReplyDeleteShe locks the room and just keeps hitting the little girl's head on the wall. I dey knock tired ND even be screaming on top but all to no avail.in the morning e go just dey lyk say motor jam dis poor girl for face cos one side is always swollen.
Tell her you will call the police and call if she doesn’t stop
DeleteThis is Nigeria? Because of the actions of one mother you are condemning everybody. You obviously belong that special group of people that never sees any good in Nigeria and all you say about Nigeria is always negative
DeletePls report her to the police! This is brutality!
DeletePotty training is hard sha. This my pikin don dey poop on my rug 😭😭😭.
ReplyDeletePoster, I don’t think you need to mind ur business here oh. You need to keep talking to her because it’s actually horrible that someone will be beating little kids like that with cane no matter the offense.
Poster you didn't mention talking to her husband or reporting her to her husband. you can take a video of her beating those children on different occasions, then send it to her husband to please talk to her.
ReplyDeleteSome parents believe that beating children badly will make them out grown children attitude.
I also like parents who discipline their children when they are misbehaving but not go kill them before their time.
This is so wrong..
ReplyDeleteA typical Africa way of training a child... If spank was human it would have said how much I was spanked by my mum especially
ReplyDeletePoster,abeg face front. You will soon be accused of nonsense if you persist with advising her. You should only step in when the kids have serious injuries. Just be kind to them whenever you are alone with them. Sometimes,you can never change one's mentality especially when it comes to training their kids. Just try and be a safe place for those kids.
ReplyDeleteEvery time you wonder where the adults where when a kid was suffering, this is the answer. They were facing front
DeleteSo sad
This is sad...
ReplyDeleteTell her you will call the cops and then call them if she doesn’t stop
ReplyDeleteAs far as I am concern, parenting is the most difficult thing eeh. Poster, I will say you mind your business o.
ReplyDeleteHmmm..some parents overindulge their kids while some over discipline. May God help us to balance it out. Atimes i feel i over pamper my baby while some other time I feel i get too strict by ingnoring unnecessary tantrums and attention seeking behavior.
ReplyDeleteSad
ReplyDeleteWhat people beat kids is beyond me. I've learnt to mind my business. I have never beaten my daughter and people say I spoil her but whenever we are out, she's the most well behaved amongst kids her age. With all the beating their kids still misbehave. I didn't beat and by 2 years old she stopped wearing diapers.
ReplyDeletePoster mind your business. Leave her to train her children the way she feels it's the best for her. Sebi they're her children and not yours. All the beating we chop from our parents but we didn't die rather we grew to become disciplined and well behaved.Beating no dey kill children.
ReplyDeleteI'm even happy to see that we still have mothers like her unlike the common ones we have now,that all they care about is teaching their kids how to wear bum short,makeup and wigs.yoy will enter their house the kids will just be staring at you until she say Escoba can't you greet,greet aunty na.
Abeg leave her o,after all the Bible say spear the rod and spoil the child.
What of arrow the rod?
DeleteThat is what your excuse is, "our parents did that and we didn't die", forgetting that a people are still traumatised, with diagnosed and undiagnosed mental challenges, due to severe discipline and "spearing" the rod.
In the bible, the shepherd's had a rod to lead their sheep and st
I'm the same Bible the shepherds had their rods to guide the sheep and steer them gently away from danger, they didn't use the rod to strike them, and those were animals, not humans.
DeleteThat's how parents raise children who harbor resentment and bitterness towards them and distance themselves when they grow up.
Excessive beating is why my siblings and I can’t stand our parents. We all moved out as soon as possible and they are now wondering why we don’t like to call or visit. How can you brutalise children in the name of “training” and expect them to automatically become close to you when they become adults? It doesn’t work like that. It may have worked in their parents time but not anymore. Times have changed and it’s important to learn how to adapt.
DeleteDisciplined and well behaved" more like myopic and bitter - is what you grew up to be. Nobody should ever abusing children in the name of "home training"
DeleteGod forbids your kind of parenthood sha. No be only spear the rod, na dagger the rod.
DeleteStella is right my dear. In less you see something extreme or life threatening or bottom line abusive then mind your business. Just keep being friendly with her kids so they can open up to you easily just in case.
ReplyDeleteEvery child responds differently to discipline.
Growing up we had songs we sing for defaulters e.g meh meh meh meh meh Annie is a naughty girl shame shame shame...SHAME!! If you bed wet we'll add peepee head, shit shit head. If you fail we'll add garri garri head and so on. Yes, it had its limits and possibly extreme but I'd like to believe I turned out fine. I'm still in contact with a few of my childhood friends and we sing it for each other when we meet most of the time.
Growing up, if you don't want them to sing for you then you better be on your best behaviour.
We were flogged too. Nothing extreme but if you don't won't some ass whooping you also have to be in your best behaviour. Make no mistake, we also had quiet corners, sleep time, kneel down, pick pin, grounding and so on. I think a good mix of all forms of discipline is key.
You're a parent not a friend. You're first a parent and you can be both but you cannot be a friend before a parent. They're kids, it's their time to go through life with your guidance. They'll make their own friends who'll be their agemate and possibly confidant. Yes, let kids be kids but kids shouldn't be left unattended to or they may get hurt. Your job as a parent is to find the right balance for your kids.
It's heartbreaking seeing s child beaten like anyhow all in the name of discipline. Sometimes these unnecessary beating doesn't make the child because better, it makes a child hardened. In some cases, the child does the wrong thing and will be like "is it not only flogging?" Our African parents are just over doing this flogging thing. There are other ways to instill discipline, you can flog someone also but bit everything and not to the extreme.
ReplyDeleteFor your neighbor keep talking to her or try to distract yourself from hearing her kids cry. There's nothing else you can do that won't cause issues between you and her
Poster abeg mind your business since she is convinced she's doing it best way.
ReplyDeleteLet her be.
The kids will be fine lass lasst
The kids will be fine last last but will end up perpetuating the same violence or even worse and then it will be a never-ending cycle.
DeleteAnd yet some wonder why violence is so wide-spread in Nigeria, from madams beating their maids, to husbands beating their wives, to policemen and managers, etc. The hurt people hurt other people.
But, "they will be fine last last."
The kids will not be fine, these are other children's potential spouses, roomates in the nearest future.
DeleteI'm all for light spanking but going overboard with the discipline is wrong.
2 and 3 year old chopping that kain beating is bad.
There is no definite way to parental success. Train your kids the way that suits you regardless of what people like this poster says. Provided you are not deliberately hurting your kids According the developmental psychologist Diana Braumrind there are 4 types of parenting
ReplyDeleteAuthoritarian
Authoritative
Permissive
Uninvolved/neglectful
There is helicopter parenting- because of the drive for the success of their kids parents become overbearing.
Whatever type of parenting you pick must be for the interest of your kids
I know someone who uses wooden spatula and wire to beat her little child. Even her boyfriend, boyfriend oh, beats the child and they call it "training". Isokay oh!
ReplyDelete"she said all children raised that way grow up spoilt and disrespectful while she on the other hand was raised same way she is raising her kids and she turned out well"
ReplyDeleteUntil she changes the mindset about children raised the way you are raising yours endup disrespectful, you can't help her.
Same people saying "mind your business" would blame her for not talking if one of the children gets seriously injured or dies (God forbid)
ReplyDeleteSome kids will be thankful where they fiind themselves...when a parent don't know the right thing to do,that is how they raise kids who don't know the right thing to do.
ReplyDeleteAhhh so I'm the only one in this blog that still spanks my kids when dey do wrong? For those of you that don't spank pls tell us how u discipline your. Child....
ReplyDeleteLizzy wrote it
Nobody says you should not spank kids but punishment should be commensurate with the offense and age of the child. For example, not being potty trained at this age isn't the fault of the child, it's a normal developmental process, so why is the mother shaming them for it?
DeleteAlso why using cane and slippers on 3 year old? What happened to hand or fingers. Well, except it's a small cane Sha but a few taps of the hand should be enough.
My mother shouted a lot and sometimes beat me for things that were not my fault and I know a lot of it was from her own frustrations with life, it had nothing to do with me. Grown up, I have had to learn how to modulate my voice and behavior so Im not harsh because I took on her manner of talking and shouting. I don't hate her but I wish her punishment style was different.
Anon 21:12 has answered you.
DeleteYour efforts is not appropriated by the recipient who happens to be a mother from the pit of hell. it's very glaring your neighbour was dealt with in the name of beating by her parents while growing up and she is trying to translate it by inflicting injury and bodily harm on her children.. Pls learn to mind your business except when the lives of her children are at risk that's when you can invite the appropriate authorities thank you.
ReplyDelete*I love infinix*
I grew up with a mum who can use beating to finish your life and a dad who never raised a finger to hit me and often fought my mum for beating us. As I grew I came to understand that many parents who go too far with beating are either taking their frustration out on the kids or themselves also damaged.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it is important to think of a cain as a tool, and you as a parent being a skilled craftsman with many other tools in your toolset.
I have been living in the UK as a parent for some years now and my current conclusion is that both extremes of these practices are unhealthy. You don't want to adopt beating as the only or main tool of discipline, but the alternative where parents are just their kids' doormat is also not good. My position is that the children must know that the cain is not excluded from the parental tools of discipline. It is not preferred, but not excluded. Now and again, kids will seriously test your boundaries to the point where even an angel will go crazy.
However, in a home where they know their parent still has this tool called a cain, only the threat of it's use and an occasional threat carried out may be all you need.