Sisi Senaponi's Corner - New Landlady Offloaded

Wahala dey!

Una doh oo! I salute e!

Stellahavarddelacreme...how ya terrain? I hail o!

The fine Aunty wey Gatecrash our End of the year party, say Landlord give her belle and She nor fit comot am o!

Na that same night wey this Aunty show, one Bros use korope bring her load!

The driver wey help this Aunty bring load frown pass the problem wey dey worry Nigeria!

Landlady dey vibrate! Say she nor go gree yen yen! Say she go divorce, collect everything! Akuko! *wey the everything biko?!* sideeyes!

Aunty say she nor come marry o! Say she jor wan come spend few weeks with her Baby Daardim!
People put mouth, landlord nor deny o!
He say na only tip he put inside!
He nor know as the thing come be like this!

*na who off light?!*

Landlord, nobody off light! Na landlady dey test transformer for your face! *sideeyes!*

So Aunty how long you gonna wonna stay?!

As i look this babe, she go like enjoyment!
She go balance for balcony with bumshort wey nor gree oga harvest see road! He don go greet landlord ten times in a day!

Na so Aunty follow dey live for upstear o!

Oga harvest turn boy, boy. Na im dey run errand for her!
Bobo nor even mind say im papa wan bring another terrorist come this peaceful world!
He dey follow her play card and Ludo for yard!
Everywhere dey silent! We nor dey settle kworeh!
Landlady nor dey follow landlord talk!
Anybody wey do mistake go carry rent money give landlady for landlord go collect quit notice!

Na everything we dey follow observe!
Na end of January this Aunty pack her load!

Oga driver don come carry her load! Do us like fimtrick!

Na im i greet this aunty, i say you dey travel?

She say Mba o, she dey comot?!
I say why now?! Nor be your pikin papa haase you dey so?!
She say she nor think?! You nor think as how?! She say she nor think say she get belle!
Ha! You nor think and Armageddon happen hia the night wey we wan hep carry your load enter yard!

She say Landlord nor get money say na packaging!
I say ehyah, you nor want make your pikin come suffer?!

She ask if i get ear problem?!
I say be like, as my ear nor correct wah think say she be better persin!

Wah almost collect elbow from landlady as we follow dey beg for stepcase!
I don know say if landlady nor gree, na me landlord go beg, make she sleep till next morning for my side!

Person wah nor know if she dey convert to 'certain elements' for night!
Anor want biko! Na my beg plenty pass!

We for put her for Baba room, make he nor go turn her to Tuber of Yam before daybreak!

Oga harvest say Landlady own too much! Say make dem no beg her! *clearsthroat!*

Who nor know say na sense wey cat go use carry fish he dey find!
I carry slippers stone am, make he nor go carry wetin pass am! As na only me sabi him mama village! Road nor dey, talk of hospital!

She say she think say the gold chain wey landlord dey rock na real gold, say he dey travel!

I say na real gold wey Abu dey sell until better hot sun hammer am!
You fit get luck make e nor quick fade, if person nor dey too rub cream!
I say that travel matter depend on how you see am! Landlord dey travel true true! He nor lie!

Na you nor ask where the destination be!
She look me, i look her!
I say Lagos to Ibadan na travel!
If you sidon near driver for front, Na business class be that!

Na last row for back, wey you go hang leg on top person load wey dey under your chair be Hicnormi!

Dem Hostess sef dey for different location, the one wey go gee you gala, biscuit, bonse! That one na before take off!

The ones for mid air na dem dey get boiled corn, akara, fried yam and the rest!
Stopover sef dey! That one depend on the destination! Una go enter bush or public ginigwanu and clear ya ferifera to commence the journey!

If you worry say how safety! That one no be issue o, once driver begin nod, if the business class people too don nod! Na to open window and find ya way! *life nor get spare part!*

Or you begin lead praises, make driver nor fit nod! Carry tamborine, whistle and flute! No peace for the wicked! Set the whistle near driver left ear!

Abi meh you hol the driver for head, juju nor dey finish for those pipu hand. Shullincase driver wan disappear, na two of una dey go!

Meh God help you, meh una nor go land on top container wey dey middle of Atlantic!
Before end of upper three years, una go reach Apapa!

She say landlord promise her heaven and earth, he chop and run! Say he nor know say she go catch am!

Say na her Brother dey aside for the bus, say dem think say he get money. Make she come collect her share!
I open mouth dey look her! I say if landlord come be Ritualist?!
She say for where?! She don weigh am the day he carry her for club!

I say so people still dey carry strange gehs, dey follow strange men! This ones nor even wear protection!
Nna ehn, as she carry her load finish! Landlord nor talk pim for balcony! Na im she enter bus comot!
Na one full month we use settle kworeh between Landlord and him wife!

Before this eccentric Landlady go kpai landlord for midnight,sell haase and run!
Anor too trust her wakawaka! House too corss for Lagos abeg!