Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DEPRESSED SPINSTER NEEDS PRAYERS.....
Why am I so unlucky with men? In my 36years on earth, I have had over 7 heartbreaks. My relationship of 4 years just broke off. 4 years of my life.
I was dedicated, I sure was I loved him, I practically lived for him. God please forgive my past sins and show me mercy. I am drowning. Please pray for me.
This made my eyes watery...I am so sorry you feel this way but please hang on...... When you meet the man that God designed for you, everything will fall into place OK?
Oh God, please it is time, she is ready to meet him, let her path cross his in Jesus mighty name.....
There are so many like you out there and it looks like men are suddenly scarce but they are not, the good ones are hidden from you so that they will find you and others like you....
You don’t allow yourself to be loved cos you do all the loving. Allow men room to love you and most importantly love yourself
ReplyDelete15. 02. I agree with you. You loved more than you were loved and he took the love for granted.
DeleteHe saw you as desperate and moved to someone he probably adores.
God will give you your own
Delete4years is no joke. I know it hurts sooo bad. Been there, but the right man will come along. 🤗🤗🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteGo for deliverance.
DeleteHmmmmmmm My Sister, God will c us through.
ReplyDeleteThere is a time for everything; don't let your past sins push you back. I am sure God has forgiven you if your repentance is genuine. Understand that God's timing is the best. What you are going through is to prepare you for the best. Also, look at your life. Is there any particular thing the men complain about that needs changing? Sometimes the enemy or obstacle is you.
ReplyDeleteThis is real...so many ladies ready to settle down but no good men.
ReplyDeleteJesus fix this for your daughter and also my sister for they are ready to settle down.
There are also lots of good men ready to settle down, but very few reasonable women
DeleteAt the risk of sounding vain, I consider myself to be a good man. However i know what i suffered in the hands of women, before God intervened and gave me my fiancee.💕
Blessed is the man whose queen you shall be ♥️
ReplyDeletePlease be comforted, yours will surely find you.
Hugs
Hmmm, don't worry poster just trust God. Meanwhile, use this waiting time to build yourself career-wise and every wise and also make sure to do what makes you happy and beautiful.
DeleteI will be 46 this year and have stopped praying for a husband cos na the same story over and over again
ReplyDeleteNon shall lack her mate. Isa 34:16. God cannot lie because of you. You will surely get married. Just don't get distracted. Keep your hopes fixed on God's promises.
DeleteMy dear we dey d same WhatsApp group. I don tire to pray for husband na siddon look I dey so.
DeletePlease annonymous 1521 and 1629, my uncle in the UK, 54 is looking for a wife. He has 3 kids and divorcing his european wife. He is Igbo, tall, dark and a christian. Please can you give Stella few or more of your details lets start from there, that is if you don't mind please. It will happen in Jesus nameAmen. It's not how far but how well.
Delete🤗🤗🤗
DeleteI'm 49. I faced so much disappointment I began to dread marriage. Now I don't know how to start a relationship. I put off any man trying to get close. I just feel I don't need to be with a man anymore but another part of me wants companionship. Every other thing is so easy but relationship is the hardest thing in my life.
DeleteI'll be 40 on Monday, I'm only grateful to God that I have a daughter, I wish I can have a second child now before it's too late. I just dey look o
DeleteIf you know what marriage entails, you will be grateful for the broken relationship and glad you escaped a broken marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf he doesn't love you enough to wife you, he did you a favor leaving you now than making you go through hell in marriage
You ain't unlucky.
Just seat down, take a proper analysis and find out what's the common complaints amongst the seven or what could be possibly wrong. And if you know the fault isn't yours, then relax cos God has reserved the best for you and he is almost here.
And in your next relationship, let love find you. Allow yourself to be loved and cared for.
If you start living practically for a man before marriage, how will it be in Marriage? He will expect much more and demand it.
Then you become a slave and loss your complete identity.
Try find yourself, be yourself and love yourself while you wait. Stop counting the clock.
It's not how far, but how well.
E hugs darling
So sorry about how you feel, you will meet your own soon and it will be glorious. Stay strong, sis.
ReplyDeleteAmen to your prayer for her, Stella.
I pray that God be kind to you
ReplyDelete🤗🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteOh God!
ReplyDeleteI understand how heartbroken you are, may the right man find you soonest dear.
Men are not scarce.
ReplyDeleteThem boku like sandflies.
Nigerian men always try to drive the narrative so Nigerian women will settle for any trash that comes along.
Don't.
It is GOOD men that are scarce because serious trash abounds, don't worry, you'll get a befitting one.
Serious trash oo in the name of men tueh
DeleteIn other words, Poster had been meeting trash men. Therefore no need for her to weep. She should change her yes standards.
DeleteYou guys won't just give up on your man hate.
DeleteWhy am I not seeing "the you attract your kinds" comments now that's it's a female..
DeleteNa every ish una go dry find how Una go insult men,. Then you wonder why men are refusing to marry y'all..
Mtcheew
Thank You Dante. I also just came out of one. Very problematic lady. I try to manage but e no work. The Mumu is now saying I am the problem and men are scum.
DeleteI don't understand the ladies of nowadays oooo. you wan marry but your attitude na zero
Poster it's a good thing you want God to help you . Ensure you build a relationship with him. He will talk you and will definitely cross path with the right person. Pls love yourself and live for you. God bless you
ReplyDeleteYou lived for him.... May God help you, that is what I will say
ReplyDeleteIt is better to marry at the right time than forcing yourself on someone who does not want you. You can't practically live your life for a human and expect that person to take you serious. 7 heartbreaks is not the end of the world. So many just got divorced after spending 20 - 30 years with someone while so many just got married to the love of their life who.will worship the ground they walk on forever. Disappointments are part of life. Keep your head high. Angels go right now, order this daughter of Zion steps to her own husband.
ReplyDeleteyou will be fine with time, just take it easy. Please do not date for so long again without anything defined. 4 years is a long time.. too long in my opinion . If you’re not seeing forever arrangements with him, just leave. Live for yourself and not for anyone. Even in marriage I dey live for myself o. Have a little baby that I live for too. I love my husband but I can’t Centre my life on him alone, it’s not healthy.
ReplyDeleteStart talking to other people so you can heal quicker *wink*
She should heal better first before starting to talk with other people.
Delete🤗🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you feel this way.
ReplyDeleteBut how on earth can you live for a man???
That there is your first mistake.
Live for yourself, live for your kids but never ever a man.
Because no human is to be trusted not even a man.
This pain will pass, but once it does learn to love yourself.
Love and adore yourself to the extent that you cannot even focus if there is a mark on your skin.
Once you love yourself, you will attract the men that will adore you because you would not tolerate nonsense.
I am speaking here from experience, the right man will cross our path.
36 isn't anything my dear, in fact life begins at 40.
You'll meet the right man soon
ReplyDeleteYou see that past sin stuff, throw it in the waste bin. It's a rope you're being used to tie yourself. Worse people are getting favor left, right and center and life's goes on. Your past is your past. Do not let the other mind guilt trip you. You're not the worst in anyway. I'm sure you're truly sorry for whatever you might have done so let it go.
ReplyDeleteCheer up, it's not the end of the world. Some ladies older than you yet not married reading your Chronicles could give anything to be in your age. There's life ahead.
When you pray, pray that any spirit that will report you to God or accuse you before God..., send them where you want.
Love yourself more. Displeasing yourself to please another is seen as desperation by some people.
Life revolves outside being in a relationship or being married.
Best wishes 🌹
4 years???. Sorry sis. But don’t date anyone more than 1 year again.
ReplyDeleteGbam
DeleteShe’s 36, I’ll even say 3-6 months the most especially if living in the same city. I won’t recommend long distance at all because there’s no way you’ll know that person in-depth. exactly what I’m going through. Say No to long distance relationship.
Deletemy sister this matter don tire person, some times i will be saying is it that our character are terrible abi God just wants us to have our own partner? But in all i still give thanks to God cos i am alive and breathing.
ReplyDeletePlease do not give up in life.
I come with the truth.if you are at a younger age and men are coming...find one responsible guy and plan ahead..it won't be like that forever.no human is perfect.
ReplyDeleteSame thing I did,got married to a guy that loves me but my feelings just dey there at 26 now 12 years later I met the love of my life while still married 😫😫
Delete17:39,
DeleteYou are cheating at least emotionally to know this other man is the love of your life or you are indulging in fantasies.
Same thing I’m faced with, I’m so confused rn
Delete17:39, going through the same shit. I so much dislike my current husband. He lied to me. We dated long distance and his true colors came out and I just hate him. Can’t stand being in the same house with him because I’m miserable. But here because of the kids. Don’t know what to do.
DeleteGosh Stella, 36 is way too young to be labelled a spinster. I don't even think the term is used anymore.
ReplyDeleteThis reads just like those married women who have ttc'd for decades or had multiple miscarriages before getting pregnant. Delay doesn't mean denial. Ask yourself, what lesson am I to learn while I wait? What is God trying to work out through me? Depression is not the answer, having a stronger faith and resolve is the answer. After all, it is same place here in the Chronicles that we see many who got started early and seemed like life could never go wrong for them, yet they met into various calamities that they were completely unprepared for, some didn't even survive. Perhaps, had their blessing come later in life their story would be different. We are all living life blind, with no knowledge of the future. Truly, the best thing is to trust God and not to lean on our own understanding.
I wish I could help you with a solution that worked for my younger sister, if only there was a record button.
ReplyDeleteHowever May your hurt turn to happiness in Jesus name..
Amen
Iya Nimi.
Please write it.
DeleteYou can still type it please… there are many people who need our help please
DeleteJesus Christ said ;come onto me all ye that labour's and heavy laden and I will give you rest.
ReplyDeletePoster, review your broken relationships to find any pattern by the men and you separately and together.
ReplyDeleteTry to avoid the destructive patterns you see. In all broken relationships, the two parties are at fault in different degrees directly and/or indirectly.
For example, Your 4years may have been spent giving what he did not want, or all you had to give, or all/what he needed from you, or all he believed you can give.
Try to quickly know the man you are with.
Listen to the man. Words are windows to the heart. Observe the man. Action speak louder than words. If they are good and leaving, please check yourself not over yesterday believed or real sin but over today's conduct.
If you genuinely think yesterday sin is the matter, make amends with anybody offended as far as it would not cause more challenge because there are matters best settled with God alone (unless your spirit assures you to make an apology) or only under the guidance of persons having God giftings in that regard.
Hold onto Jehovah Almighty, he's all sufficient God, Love will Find you on expectedly🙏🙏🙏
DeleteOoh dear, this is such a sad read.
ReplyDeleteMay God please send a worthy man who will love and wife this daughter of yours.
Cheer up! All your marriage worries can be resolved in just one year. Magnify that aspect of your life that is working! Magnify your creator and speak positively about your future. Miracle no dey tire Jesus!
ReplyDeleteSorry
ReplyDeleteLol how do you practically live for another human being? A man for that matter!
ReplyDeleteSo all this motivational quotes and everything online about self love didn’t convince you not to overlove someone more than you?
Na wa oo
Leave all to God. Continue with the prayers and fasting. The right one will find you soon. He created you and knows you better. Sometimes, he allows things like this to happen so all glory goes back to his name.
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster, INEC has been rigging your elections during the last 7 relationships.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteLike my cousin would often remark, life is all about the collection of frail and crunching moments, some good and some bad, and that is ultimate puzzle of our lives. I would implore you not to judge this pain by one piece of your puzzle, but be painfully hopeful still, for you are a good work in progress. 36 is not a death age, you pieces have not just yet fallen in place. As long as your heart is beating you can and will survive this too, like every past one. Yes it will is challefing yiur faith right now, isn’t that pit falls are suppose to do? But you will heal. I promise you that.
So my dear you are not broken. Neither is your heart broken. It was merely bruised yet again. Yes it’s battered and it is wounded like you didn’t think possible, because it's not the first time. Still it is not broken. It still beats. And long as your heart is beating you can and will survive this too. You will heal. Although things will not be the same, you’re right. Don't fight why it didn't work out, that is ok. It’s not supposed to be the same. We are supposed to grow and change and learn and evolve and it's not supposed to be easy either way. Some have it easy, some others like us had it tough and beaten.
These cycles have become a journey that you have not chosen for yourself and that you have not prepared for yet again. You have no map, but know this: you are safe. And like anonymous 17:06 pointed out. Analyse the human elements, take this opportunity to look at all the pieces of yourself spread it out on the floor like beans, pick the stones, together with the bad ones and reflect on how you’d like them to go together now. Don’t rush it. And if it becomes incomprehensible go to God on your knees, channel all of this pain into your talk with God like you have never done before. I believe this sorrow has over stayed it night, your joy will surely come through in the name of Jesus.
You are going to be ok. It’s hard to believe that, I know. Many have been there too and cane out even stronger. I understand that this impact has left you still feeling blind and lost, stuck in a black hole that your limbs can’t seem to climb out of. But time is your friend. You will smile again. You will feel happiness deeper than you ever could wish for. There will be love in your life. It may come from places you don’t expect. You are now armed with so much wisdom on this other side you find yourself, and because of it God will make decisions that serve His purpose in your life going forward.
You are loved here, stay blessed.
Poster I work in a place where everyone is married, just one new staff who is single. We are just 3 females and the other two are married just myself alone is still single.
ReplyDeleteWe are over 200 staffs and imagine me alone is still single. I am beautiful, hardworking, I am not dating anyone including my bosses. Imagine working with so much men, I have a lot of toasters but I cannot date them cos they are all married men. The new staff that just came in is a very young guy who is less than 30 years, while I am 33 years old.
Now I keep asking myself is my character that terrible that my colleagues are on my case but I am not interested since they are already married men. What is my offense that is making me still single? If you do anything you will hear that is why she is still single, if you say anything it will be that is why she never marry. I joke with all my colleagues, I greet them, I stay on my lane but smile it then from time to time. I have kept myself from sleeping with any of my colleagues so why haven’t I gotten recommendations from anyone.
This single life is not easy cos the society has made it look like if your are still single as a lady you have a very terrible attitude. I joined gym to see if I can mingle and settle down but no way. If I tell you I am not fed up with the whole thing is a fat lie.
The society's not helping at all. I just maintain my lane. Thank God for earphones.
DeleteWhy not relocate, pls avoid Canada or Uk, target US you will find a man even if he’s white
DeleteDon't feel bad..I understand that feeling. I'm experiencing same but I choose not to let it get to me
DeleteOh dear, I pray lighten your heavy heart. Just hang on while loving yourself the right man for you will come.
ReplyDeleteSending loads of love your way.
Eyaa,it is well! Please hold on to God,the right man will come,God is ever faithful in every situation,He will not forsake you.
ReplyDeleteThis is sad but you need to show ursef love and don't be desperate ma.
ReplyDeleteThings will fall I to places soon
My sister don't show men 100percent love, they will not value you. God will come through for you pls be strong.
ReplyDeleteNow only una go desperate for marriage for Nigeria, for marriage ooo, to born ooo. Every day tcc stories!!!Yes I am a woman who is almost, 50 not married and no kids! I have so much peace of mind, even as I am about to marry, I am not bothered about anything. I am sure because most of my twenties, thirties and even early forties across various countries.
ReplyDeleteAlthough in Nigeria 🇳🇬 right now,my Christian Sis that is 50 sef is balling,she has guys calling her from all over the world for marriage,she too lived abroad! Maybe because we are from solid homes!!! And Baltiki, nobody wants to be anybodies age! We are focused and natural beauties,no unnecessary hair and heavy make up! Imagine ladies asking me what I use for my skin! Is peace of mind. Women give yourself peace!put God first before anyone, then yourself.
Be more concerned about the coming of the Lord,than man matter ; all the time. Why don't you women find your purpose in life. My destiny is in Christ Jesus, in marriage you become one flesh,not one soul or spirit. Please seek salvation for your soul and spirit first.
I get tired coming here to read stories like this ,like you guys alway say God abegooo.
Poster I’m the same age and my own bf has a baby mother and told me he isn’t ready for marriage because of his carer and that when he is ready his mum said that he must marry his baby mother. He is Muslim and told me this that will I stay and be his second wife I’m Christian and I love him so much but I told him no way he should forget that. He said if his child wasn’t involved he would choose me but because they have a child he has to honor her.
ReplyDeleteHe is a good man for even wanting to marry his baby mother most guys don’t care about honouring her and he is a good father I really respect him for that but I can’t be his second wife.
I’m praying for my own husband and the strength to walk away but love is wicked hahaha
But we have an agreement that when I meet someone I want to marry I’m free to leave tho I know it will be hard but I will have to walk away.
No sec between us at all and it has been over 2 years we have been together.
Keep deceiving yourself inugo, na your time dey go
DeleteI’m not deceiving myself, the part I didn’t mention is more than what I mentioned.
DeleteVery soon I will send him my wedding invite, my own for him na surprise package *wink*
Poster, May God come through for you in Jesus Name and deliver you🙏🏾 No offense but some advisers on this blog will push many women into situations worse than this. I read the chronicle of a poster with a 2-month, as in 2 month relationship that online bv psychologists were advising to LEAVE because he eats from her side of the plate, and has not been saying sorry when he seemed at fault in two months! The number of advisers that asked her to quit are unbelievable! I pray that woman has more sense than to take such advice! I posted something there about having 60 year old single friends who are lonely and regret leaving some past bfs when in their 20s and 30s for reasons that with hindsight seem like nothing. I have been reading this blog for a decade! Sometimes I wonder what the spouses of many of the advisers of the poster with just a two-month relationship will say about them. Many comment as if they are perfect & the spouse is always the problem. The secret of marriage is that there are two imperfect people committed to loving each other as perfectly as possible. Absent physical, emotional, psychological or verbal abuse, don’t leave a loving relationship unless you are not in love regardless of who the adviser is!
ReplyDeletePoster, nobody is perfect. Do a self evaluation of your best of the relationships to see if you had any fault. Work on those. Repent if any known sins. Go for deliverance at mfm prayer city to be sure there isn’t more. Wait for God to come through. He will.