Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SAD AND CONFUSED
I got pregnant and i told my boyfriend.
He said he isn't ready to marry me now but i should keep it, i suggested that we remove it since we aren't ready and he agreed.
We planned and did a safe abortion and since then Oga said he needed space. He doesn't pick my calls and he became very cold towards me.
What did i do wrong? Should i have kept a pregnancy when he said he isn't ready to settle down because of lack of funds? I'm so sad and confused.
*What pained me about this is that he was not even the one that pressured you to remove the baby, you convinced him to agree with you to get it out....THAT WAS A WRONG MOVE... You should have kept the baby!
Maybe that move of aborting is the reason why he broke up with you.. He must be traumatized
"Wickedness" in jude oc voice 🤦🤦🤦
ReplyDeleteMadam, woman up and leave him to deal with his emotions. You are the one who needs more support than him. Care for yourself.
DeleteNow you know a bit more about him. Recover fast and face your lane. Do not flog yourself over and over on this. Is this the kind of man you want to live your forever after with?
Definitely not me.
He was looking for away to dump you before.
DeleteThis is a perfect excuse for him.
If he comes back again.
He is coming for more sex.
You better close your legs and place value on yourself. Doing skin to skin with a man who is not ready to settle yet what do you expect in return?.
Be wasting your body for nonsense
He is a Selfish and empty man incapable as he is of being a husband talkless of being s good one
DeleteYou will still fornicate without protection even after this trauma. I don’t understand why adults don’t responsibly prepare for sexual relations. They make the decision to have sex and just go with the flow. A huge decision that could have devastating life-altering consequences is what you people are casual about. Just cos you had unsafe sex with your boyfriend, you got pregnant, you aborted, he is filled with guilt at his inadequacies, he dumps you, you are heartbroken, you have lots of regrets… all because you chose to have sex. You could have a safe abortion but you couldn’t practice safe sex.
DeleteYour irresponsible boyfriend realized how irresponsible you are and that two blind people are lost, so he let you go with the hope that you would come to the same realization. Unfortunately, on top of being irresponsible, you are also a bit slow.
21:37 Thank you. At the end of It, she would still go and fornicate again with another boyfriend. Look at her still wanting to continue with the guy If the guy had not cut her off. You tell them the truth to flee fornication they will shut you up. When they face the repercussion they will turn around and shamelessly say, "Don't judge".
DeleteAbstaining is the best. Condoms do break and she could still get pregnant and with condoms, she can still catch herpes.
If you don't fornicate will you die? Later you will be acting like you are doing men a favour when sleeping with them. Meanwhile, some of you like sex like mad and lack self-control. Some of you will be popping pills for an ordinary boyfriend that can dump you tomorrow. I am surprised we are still having these kinds of chronicles on this blog despite all the advice.
As we are typing this, another one is reading and packing her back to go and spend the weekend with her boyfriend with plans to have sex then she will be pregnant and still come on here to look for advice.
Aunty, don't mind that manipulator. He wants to turn you to baby mama and frustrate your life. It is SOLELY your decision to Keep the child. Do not be gaslighted by a man that wants the perks of marriage without commitment.
ReplyDeleteKeep your eyes on your own well-being.
Gbam!
DeleteOlive 🔥
DeleteWell said Ma, Poster this is the honest truth! I’m sorry though not a party to abortion but u dodged bullets of tears and pains though the abortion guilt doesn’t go easily, but u have to give ursef time now for self care and rehabilitation again again pls play safe next time. Take care 🌸
DeleteA….
So you want to keep dating him even when he’s not ready for marriage? Guy man would have still dumped you if you had kept the pregnancy. He’s somewhere now thanking God you agreed to go for an abortion. You better move on to a serious person
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
She would have seen premium shege. Now go and sin w/o CDs no more. Focus on your life and self esteem. Person open mouth waaa tell you say he’s not ready to marry you. And you still wanted to continue dating him?. Asin he wanted to turn you to baby mama. And you’re sending chronicle because of him???.
DeletePlease, pick yourself up and focus on becoming successful.
I am very very pro early abortion. That man never meant well for you. If he’s being cold to u, it’s because he’s no longer interested in u. Keep ur options open. Going forward, pls practice safe sex abeg to avoid another abortion or STD.
ReplyDeleteI believe taking out the pregnancy was ur best option because he was never even ready to marry u sef and u don’t sound like u are ready for the responsibilities that come with having a baby
The red flags are right in your face, Please move on. Having sex without protection nor contraceptive will high chance; result in pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteYou are having sex, unprotected sex with a man that is not ready for family responsibility which you know very well. Please STOP complicating your self, leave him abeg.
Ask God for forgiveness and stay celibate. it is for your own Good please
The best you can do for yourself is to quietly retire to your conscience. Reflect on your actions and give room to Love yourself.
DeleteThat guy will never marry you. He has seen another side of you that he detest in human.
If he wants you, he will return to you.
you both are terrible people, you are not both finically okay but you kept on making out without protection. You should give him some space while you too get some sense.
ReplyDeleteWhich one is finically again hian
DeleteMadam murderer, you are not even concerned about the murder you committed. Are you aware that you killed your own child, same flesh and blood?
ReplyDeleteWitchcraft no pass like this.
No even tell me na mistake, because condom no dey costly.
Baby wey some people dey pray for, e reach your hand you kill am.
Tomorrow you will want an innocent man not to consider you past and marry you.
May the soul of the Innocent child you killed in cold blood rest in perfect peace... Amen
You can still pass your message across without been so judgemental and harsh .
Delete😂😂😂
DeleteAnon 15:36,
DeleteWhat is judgemental about my comment?
Did she not kill her own child?
Or A person that kill is no longer a murderer?
She is more concerned about her relationship that's why she is so heartless to kill her own child.
😂
DeleteBut she got pregnant for a man na
Thank God Chike is not God. Na only you for Nigeria wey heaven dey sure for.
DeleteSOMETHING-LIGHT, but the man told her to keep the baby but she refused.
DeleteHow are we sure the man even agreed to the abortion after she tried to convince him to help her carry out the murder?
Olive rose, the holy Bible says "thou shall not kill"
You hear say na Chike write am?
Assistant Pope, well done! If we check your life now, your sins fit big pass her own, awon judgina wey holy pass pope
DeleteThe Poster did not ask for one type of comment.
DeleteEverybody is entitled to make his or her own comment.
See that you didn't even counsel Poster who is sad and confused.
Don't you think you judged by your comment too instead...?
Poster you have to live with the consequences of your decision...You cant marry someone because of you are pregnant for him..That is a wrong premise to use to make a life time decision.....I think you terminated it so you won't be shamed as a babymama....The guy never wanted the whole relationship, the pregnancy was just the avenue for him to log off.....Sorry about this, not all relationships will lead to marriage...All the best
ReplyDeleteStella thank you very much. The thought that equally came to my mind. Why raise that option to him maka why.
ReplyDeleteYou are lucky
ReplyDeleteMove on clean
The pregnancy confirmed what he already knew...he doesn’t want to marry you
‘’Clean’’ you say?
DeleteLol
Did he agree or he had no option as "your body is your body and you'll do whatever you want"...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, for a baby to be brought into this world, both parents have to consent to it, no one should force or manipulate the other to be part of a child's life he didn't consent to.. as I understand with you now, when a man isn't interested and you still go on to birth the baby, hope you'll understand my comment too then when I refuse to join to call him a deadbeat father..
If what you stated is correct, let him go if he wants to go, you have rights to choose to birthing a baby within or outside wedlock, no one should be forced to do so.. if you had gone ahead to please him and he doesn't marry you, you already limit your options on the kind of men that'll want to settle with you..
So abeg free am.. you should have been the one even saying you wanted space sef after the whole D&C trauma..
You no want make she commit belle and you no won marry,. What exactly is the colour of your problem.. Ekwensu
Dante your 4th paragraph is lit 🔥
DeleteDante you are right.
DeleteShe is suppose to be giving the man attitude or even looose interest in that thing called relationship.
Instead she is looking for what did not lost.( no self esteem)
He must have been traumatized? As in how? The woman who risked her life to do an abortion for an irresponsible man nko?
ReplyDeleteOP, forget that spineless and weak person you call a boyfriend. You are better off without him. Don't allow anyone guilt trip you because you refused to bring a child into the world you aren't prepared for.
Exactly! Traumatised kee him!
DeleteIt is the poster who is going through he'll but she is yet to realise it. Instead the devil in that animal she calls a boyfriend is making it am even more horrific experience for her.
Poster wake up! you should give that attitude back to him. He is mad. He needs time to go deal with his madness. You need TLC and make sure you get it
See sin and murder as if nothing has been done and What has sodom done that this generation has not done and see advice nobody even think of God laws and consequences all is be careful next time,God will have mercy on you and your sinner in crime continue
ReplyDeleteHian
DeleteBut it has already been done. It cannot be undone. Please, just adopt a child and provide them a good home, do your part to help children who are without parents. We cannot keep telling women to have children when those children are roaming the streets or in institutions for decades. Pro-lifers need to start stepping up and doing more than just talking and spewing messages about religion.
DeleteSome of you never even offered to watch an unwed woman's children so she can go back to school and better herself. Never adopted one child to let them have the love of a family. Never bought a bag of groceries to a suffering family. But sin is on your minds everyday. Do you know it is a sin to be in a position to help someone and refuse to because of personal judgments against them. Many of you wouldn't help a pregnant teenager, but if she aborted everybody got mouth. If she gives birth nobody has hands to give, they still come with their stink mouths to speak against her. Where is the righteousness you preach, who is living it? I live for the day when Christ will say to many of you "get away from me you workers of iniquity I know you not"
@19:19
DeleteYou mixed it up.
This post is not about children from married homes who became destitute due unforseen circumstances.
The Poster is not a teenager. A woman who choose to have $3x should be ready for the consequences, and moreso when she refused to take common simple protective steps or naively thinks it will tip a man into marrying her.
A teenager has no business having $3x. It is even a crime for a man to have sex with a girl 16 and under.
And did you note that you only judged also without making any effort to counsel the poster
Please anon 19:19 read what you wrote again and ask yourself if there is any iota of sense in that comment of yours.
DeleteYou people never cease to amaze me. The way you reason is so revolting.
An unwed mother who knows she wasn't married and knows the huge responsibility that comes with having a baby was supposed to close her legs and consider her situation properly before fornicating. Fornication comes with a lot of baggage that I wonder what people derive from it that they find it so hard to resist. Someone who damned all the situations who did not think of the consequences of fornication
Someone who is supposed to do her homework well and sit down to check the pros and cons before opening her legs, someone who is supposed to cross her T's and dot her I's but never did any of the above is an angel while those who try in their little way to advise so others won't fall into the same situation are the ones you think you are castigating. You must be a comedian.
A grown adult had unprotected sex-no fear of Hiv
No fear of pregnancy
No fear of death in case the boyfriend refuses and suggests abortion
No fear of sin yet you say you are living for the day God will say to people who try to advise them to get thee behind him.
You will only end up disappointed. Go back to the Bible and read up on what God says about those who hate rebuke and never listen when corrected.
God is kind but doesn't applaud stupidity
They are always bringing one pathetic story here or the other but never learn.
One fornicated and cried to Stella because she caught herpes and another aborted up to four times later and went and did family planning despite being single all on top of fornication oo
They never learn.
All the fornication I wonder what they gain from it, no benefit, just complaints and heartbreak yet they never stop.
You can't go back in the past and change anything. Give him his space and start plotting out your own life. Use the time apart to assess whether this person is the one you want to be with. You should also start accepting that it is over.
ReplyDeleteHe isn't worth considering, according to this narrative, he is thrash and not worth considering
DeleteSometimes the kind advise Stella dey give, dey turn belle. What do you mean ''Maybe he is traumatized''. So she should have continued carrying belle for man that is not ready, then, gbam, one day, he will make her single mother?
ReplyDeleteAbeg my dear, nobody holy pass. Okay, e don happen , face front and don't you dare cry over this nonsense man. You hear?
Traumatized Kee him there, useless emotional layabout without sense but with functional genitals
DeletePoster work on loving God more, loving yourself and improving your self worth, so that you'll not repeat this mistake, you just dodge a bullet
ReplyDeleteNext relationship, try use condom. See where flesh to flesh landed you. You could have gotten hiv. Start on a clean slate and protect yourself henceforth.
ReplyDeleteIf condom break.....
DeleteAbstinence is the best abeg
That man has moved on…it’s time to move on too. but how do you have sex without protection knowing fully well both of you are financially incapable. I think this is a wake up call for you, get the best outta yourself and don’t let any man make you feel worthless.
ReplyDeleteFinancial capacity is not the main issue. The both of them were not agreed on starting a family. So, the should have kept their knickers on.
DeleteYou are more interested in the rejection from a boy boy than the judgement of God for killing. Abortion is murder unless it was done to save a mother's life during surgery. Flee from fornication and stop the MURDER.
ReplyDeleteWord! @16:49
DeleteBiko poster ignore him and move on.
ReplyDeleteYou just doged a bullet.
These crazy boys will tell you to keep a pregnancy and they won't cater for you.
Lick your wound and move on. You will be fine.
He is not traumatised at all, he is very much happy, he never planned having you forever.
My advice now is that you close your legs completely till further notice or be active with pills and condoms.
It will save you a lot of problems like this.
This happened to me but in my case he pressured me to have an abortion. I cried bitterly. Wept. Begged him. He attacked me and pressured me to have abortion. I eventually did at 4weeks and I wanted that baby so badly. Didn’t even care if he married me but I did. Nevertheless I begged God for forgiveness and we broke up. He tried to reconcile in 2020 but I blocked him.
ReplyDeletePoster please forget about him. He’s very irresponsible. Seek forgiveness from the lord. Use condom or abstain. And try to know a man in-depth before marriage too. You will be fine
You wanted the baby badly, why then did you need is approval for? Was the baby not in your womb? Women who need a baby badly would disappear or tell the man the baby isn't his if he tries to pressure them.
DeleteSame old song. Woman needs the baby as hers but need the man only as provider for her baby. Where there I no man to do the alabaru work, the need disappears.
DeleteWhich alabaru?
DeleteThe princess male specimens drifting around looking for who will pamper dem even as men? Abi the lazy entitled bare minimum creatures with big testicles and tiny brains that treat women as things without emotions?
Please madam I beg you in God's name to go and seek for forgiveness from God aborting an unborn baby is a very grevious sin before God
ReplyDeleteCommon getat!
DeleteAsk GOD for forgiveness
DeleteForgive yourself
Block him
Mourn the baby
Write a plan to improve your life , schooling, learning a trade , work courses.
Move onwards and upwards
Sin is sin, dear Judgina.
DeleteLet this spin to your dense and thick skull
Both of you are very unserious and terribly irresponsible.
ReplyDeleteYou are asking that why is he behaving cold...you mean you still want to continue the 'relationship'???? So you can be evacuating your womb every few months or what?
No guilt, no remorse, your own is sichuashonship. mtsheewwwww.
ReplyDeleteShuo!
DeleteStella, your Bvs are mouthed o!
He doesn't what a repeat "mistake". And you need a man who is "ready".
ReplyDeleteIt shouldn't be difficult to understand, is it?
The woman is even more traumatised, going through a procedure that she thought she would have support for, alone.
ReplyDeletePoster, ndo. Reconcile with your God, put everything behind you, and move on. This is a painful lesson. Mourn, seek healing, and raise your standards and fix your gaze on the future.
Pele. You will be alright.
Yes
DeleteRaise your STANDARDS
Say no to riffraffs, no future ambition and low IQ and stupid users
Build your self esteem
DeleteYou deserve better
Maybe he was tired of the relationship in the first place.Men will tell you to keep a pregnancy if they know you don’t want to keep it,then be the first to agree to remove it if you initiate the conversation.na tactic
ReplyDeleteTactic aka manipulative creatures aka many Nigerian men
DeleteTactic aka manipulative creatures aka many Nigerian men
DeleteThe man thinking: If you can kill your own child, is it me you will not kill...
ReplyDeleteLow thinking, selfish and useless man
DeleteSilly lie.
DeleteStupid mentality bcz he is equally a destroyer.
I don’t know who is worse btw you two, the irrelevant man having unprotected sex when he know he’s not ready for the responsibility and commitment that comes with it or you that still wants to go back to such situationship so you can continue shooting out innocent children.
ReplyDeleteYou should be more concerned about your life. God hates hands that she’d innocent blood.
Move on and leave him. He might be pretending.
ReplyDeleteAsk God for forgiveness
Ladies please zip up, stop engaging in premarital sex, please please and please. May God help us to put our body under control.
ReplyDeleteStop begging them.
DeleteWe have been begging for many years on the blog but they insult in the end.
Some of you that fornicate confuse me.
I thought you are a badass who braces your heart for whatever outcome your sexual freedom might bring. Most of you are not even strong for wherever bad outcome your eyes may see after the act. Yet you keep engaging in it. Is it lack of self-control or no common sense?
You will fornicate, and people will advise you. You will call them judgina making them feel stupid for telling you to act right then when you experience the negative side of fornication you come here looking for who will pacify and pet you and when we talk again you try to silence us. Like! Make it make sense!
He stopped talking to you because he feels you might not be able to give birth again. He feels the abortion might have tampered with your womb.
I knew a lady who a guy broke up with. Months later she had an argument with his friend who mocked her that she has killed all the babies in her womb. How did he know? His friend told him and that was how she found out the reason he broke up with her.
There was a guy who was asking me out. I told him no sex he got upset and said never. While he was busy trying to give me reasons why we must fornicate if we dated, an unmarried lady who had a baby walked by, carrying her child. He looked at her with scorn in his eyes and shook his head. Then he said look at this one oh, she is already a baby mama.
I told him immediately, "but the same thing you were encouraging me to engage in with you a few seconds ago was the same thing she did with her boyfriend that led to her situation". He kept quiet and couldn't talk. He though he had the moral compass to judge. Evil thing.
They will sleep with you and still mock you after.
Please if you fornicate anything can happen afterwards,
You can get pregnant
Your boyfriend can dump you after he is tired
You can catch diseases even with condoms(herpes)
Etc
so stop whining and pick your poison.
You won't face front and move on ooo
ReplyDeleteWhether he meant well for you or not, that baby didn't deserve to die. The baby didn't force him/herself on you. You got pregnant cos you had consentual unprotected sex. In my opinion, it's not really about whether your boyfriend wants to marry you or not. It's about the fact that you didn't give a child a chance to live.
ReplyDeleteI advise you learn your lesson and avoid premarital sex henceforth. God loves you and He has wonderful plans for you. Forgive yourself and ask God for forgiveness. You'll be fine.
Abeg it was cells at that point
DeleteHmmmmm
ReplyDeletePikin wey I dey find. God abeg oo
Woman have some self-respect
ReplyDelete