Wait for it!!!
The father of one of my childhood friends in the neighborhood where I grew up in was called Mr Benson.
As kids, we thought it was his name. We knew our friend bore a different surname but we thought Benson was his dad's first name. So, people called his dad Mr Benson, called his mum Mr Benson's wife and called their kids Mr Benson's children.This continued for years until one day
Mr Benson's wife quarrelled with another woman, you know women na. They cussed and swore at each other, then Mr Benson's wife said something about the other woman being a single mother with no husband. The other woman came at her and told her that she is a married woman but living as a single mom like her.
She said her husband Mr Benson is very useless, doesn't drop money for feeding or any other thing, sleeps around with both married and single, drinks and smokes to stupor, that they had to nickname him Mr Benson because of his love for the cigarette brand "Benson and Hedges".
On hearing this last line, we the children who were friends to Mr Benson's kids had a field day teasing and mocking them. "So your daddy's name is not Mr Benson, he is bearing cigarettes name?"
On hearing this last line, we the children who were friends to Mr Benson's kids had a field day teasing and mocking them. "So your daddy's name is not Mr Benson, he is bearing cigarettes name?"
When we want to catch cruise, we would call them Mr cigar's children, Mr smoker's children. Sometimes, if the kids look hungry, we would ask them if their daddy had used their feeding money to smoke Benson and Hedges.
Gradually, the kids started keeping to themselves, they looked sad most times.
After some time, their family moved out of the area.
We didn't know better, we were all between 7yrs and 10yrs old. Remembering this as an adult, I resolved to live a life that will not make my kids depressed.
Parents pls, think of your kids mental health when doing some things. Some of the things we do scar them for life.
I feel for the children,imagine bearing the brunt of their father's lifestyle.Hope they are better wherever they are.
ReplyDeleteWhat a life! Many have passed through this and many as we speak. Thank God for His grace.
DeleteGod help me to be an exemplary parent....this story touched my heart.
ReplyDeleteSome parents need to do better
ReplyDeleteSeriously
DeleteThat's why I'm very intentional about who I will get married to.
Your last paragraph says it all.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing
This is the case of sins of the father lives with his children..
ReplyDeleteHmmmm sad memories. My own dad too was a smoker and he will send me as a little girl to go and buy cigarettes for him. The children of the provision store owner used to call me omo Ette ten ten Kobo, meaning Ette's child ten ten Kobo. We were Calabar by tribe living in Yoruba land. The cigarettes were 10kobo each, in the early 90s. My compound kids picked it up and were calling me that too.
ReplyDeleteLater he fell very sick and when he survived, they told him to stop smoking if he wants to live longer, he stopped smoking and started sniffing snuff. He used to send me to buy the snuff too. I was older now in my early teens and I would trek for almost 2hours to buy the snuff to and fro.
He still fell very sick again and was coughing and spitting thick brown sputum. He was warned to stop the snuff too. He now turned to beer. Wo, his story is very long but he later died at a not so old age, he was in his late 50s when he died after a prolonged illness.
I think of those years and endeavour to live right for my kids.
Chai!
DeleteMen kill themselves early with their lifestyles. Later they will say it is stress of working for the upkeep of the family, they intentionally harm themselves thinking they are enjoying.
My own father died of Aids after infecting his 2 wives and their 3 children. He can sleep with anything under the skirt, the wife's sister and cousin wasn't left behind
DeleteSo sad, even after being warned repeatedly. Thank God you chose to live better for yourself and your children.
DeleteChai 😪 children suffering for their parents bad behavior.
ReplyDeletemy cousin just told me of how they used to call her older step-brother was called a he goat when she was in secondary school. she said she used to always fight other kids who teased her and abused her brother because of that. he lived alone with her in the house and she used to notice a lot of female students coming to the house and when she ask him he will say he was doing counselling. he was a teacher in the school then and the wife lived in another town....i told her she was lucky he was not perveted enough to rape her one day....very stupid hegoat...parents should do better abeg
ReplyDeleteAnd you don’t think you’re continuing the bullying of the kids by posting the full story here
ReplyDeleteDid he mention any real name
DeleteHow is he continuing the bullying or are you one of the useless parents he wrote about? or are you Mr Benson /his wife /one of his kids? 🙄
17:19 pls use reason
DeleteIf the kids read this how won’t they know it’s them
Not just the kids but everyone that knew the story then will know
He says he’s posting it so people will be better parents
Nonsense you’re posting it to do a blog post and you have no care for the feelings you hurt in the process
My father was an amazing Dad up until he lost his Job and everything changed so drastically it was like he derived pleasure from embarrassing Us. It messed with all our self esteem. We are in a better place now thank God for his mercies but the Scars are a painful painful reminder.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, thank God for seeing you through. People have been through a lot.
DeleteThis is not too good for the children, many children are suffering the consequences of their parents actions..
ReplyDeleteMy mum used to sell bread which automatically make us go to the bakery to carry bread on our head on those long board, we were literally selling from Monday to Sunday, January to December, 5am to 12am with nothing to write home about. This expose me to ridicule from my friends because i was either carrying bread, or at the shop for my mum with no no time to do thing like my mate. This made me swore never to open any business as i saw it as time consuming with little or no effort. It has also made me to be a hard worker to be able to provide for my kids needs without involving them in the hustle. Do i blame my mum? No poor woman was looking for means to feed us all. It is well May God cont. to keep my mum for me.
ReplyDelete"with nothing to write home about"?
DeleteThere is a lot to write about. That is why you were able to go to school and, more important, did not beg bread from those who teased you.
Even those whose fathers were regarded as RICH were teased by children of those whose father were regarded as poorer. Teasing is a part of teenage behaviour.
So you don’t feel remorseful bullying and mocking those kids and making them sad and depressed. Very selfish of you. You only care about not doing things that will affect your children but you don’t feel sorry for causing those kids pain and shame. May God have mercy on you.
ReplyDeleteAnon they were kids. Teasing and mocking is part of kids behaviour.
Delete20:14 no it’s not just being kids
Deletekids offed themselves for this bullying
And even if it’s forgivable as a kid why continue it by posting about them
Yes we all did wrong as kids but when you grow up I expect better
Very short, but deep story .things we used to do as kids, not knowing we were hurting people. I remember when I was in secondary school..a girl was born with a deformed hand. We would taunt her so much, she got used to it..anytime I remember it, I feel so bad. I've looked for her on the Internet to no avail. On the other hand, parents should do better so that their kids don't get ridiculed
ReplyDeleteNot everyone behaved like this as kids, thankfully. My siblings and I were raised to be kind and know that bullying was wrong and completely unacceptable. Parents need to raise their kids better.
DeleteMay we not do things that will bring reproach to our children, parents & relatives.
ReplyDeleteMy relative is doing something that is causing everyone shame
Then YUL-EDOCHIE is acting in ways that is bringing shame & disgrace to his children & parents & relatives.
The most complex B