Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Thursday, February 22, 2024

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm....


STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED

This thing has been on my mind. 
 I'm in love with a guy I met on social media. We met in 2019. He is black American. He has been good to me emotionally and financially.
 I tried to get a US visa but got rejected twice. He on the other side doesn't want to come to Nigeria because his family doesn't support our relationship.
 I feel like he doesn't love me enough else he would have been with me already.

Now he is from an influential family, he is their last born and his elder siblings are against online relationships, they are really influential and way richer than him. He said he made many mistakes in life and they feel like he is about to make another mistake by being with me.
 Everyone in his family knows about me. He makes videos talking to them about me, and I hear and can see how they feel about me, even if they try to hide it. He respects their opinion a lot to the point that they never encouraged him to be with me, sometimes I speak to his mom on the phone and she is like why do I want to be with her son, do I truly love him, and I answer affirmative. She is an old woman. And she loves this my bf so much.

We have broken up our online relationship many times and after few days we are back talking again. These days when we argue we can't even stay angry long, we are already apologising to each other.

Ok now for me I have had failed relationships and age is not on my side as they used to say once a woman has reached 30 something she is no longer in the market. Thing is I have tried getting to know other men back in naija, but they all turned out to be unserious, one doctor guy almost raped me cos i didnt want s#x before marriage, like i didnt trust his intentions. 
Thank God he didnt succeed 
The last guy that tried to date me was cool but we met just a month to my relocating.
Note I have been celibate since 2018 June.
So I decided to relocate and had to enter Canada on a student visa, I resigned and gathered my small business money and I'm now in Canada. 
Hoping all goes well on the long run.
Reason for this Chronicle is that there is a friend of mine I have known for almost 15yrs. He likes me crazy, in fact he tried to date me several times back in naija,but I I refused cos at those times I was with other guy whom I though we were going to settle down.

So this guy has been a good friend all these years, and he relocated to Canada with his family last year. And they have 2 daughters. This friend of mine told me when he married his wife that its because I gave him no chance that he had to find an alternative.

Now he has been having issues in his marriage since 2yrs and hoping they will resolve it but his wife doesnt seem to want to continue. He said she jokingly told one of his sisters that it's like they will find another wife for their brother o, as she doesn't know how she will do him.

He said his wife starves him of s#x and never initiates s#x. She told him they are not compatible. That she is done, that she is only still with him because they are still new here in Canada and their kids are bellow 4yrs.
She doesn't cook or clean the house, he does it by himself when he has time from work.

Now he told me all these things not just cos he is interested in me, but we are really close friends, he always confides in me even when the going was good with his wife and business back in Nigeria.
Now he seriously asking me to be with him again. Although we are not in the same Province, but he is willing to have a serious relationship with me, he says he is waiting for a change of job, he might be moving to work in the US. He wants to be much stable financially before he goes for a divorce.

Now my issue is this , I feel like it's because I'm on the side, not like we are cheating o, but I feel like it's because of me he is gingering to leave his wife, even if his wife has clearly shown she isn't interested. Can't type everything here.
But I don't wanna feel guilty for anything.

Then the most important thing now is I'm still in love with the other guy in the US. Like he got my heart. Can't imagine not communicating with him or not even seeing him, like we have plans for this year. He plans to visit me here in Canada, and I also wanna re-apply for a US visa, I might be lucky this time. Like I just want a taste of him.

Now my issue is I don't want to miss out on any opportunity to get married this year. Omo I want to have my own baby. I want to have a family. So it's a lot I'm dealing with currently.
I'm planning that among these two guys whoever I first to meet in this land like this, I'm definitely getting my eggs baked. And I'm hoping and praying it will be the other guy. I can't wait for my summer holiday. Even my sister has advised that I quickly get pregnant, but she doesn't know about this naija guy here. Can't tell my siblings about this naija guy cos he is married. 

Na wa o. I'm scared of people tagging me husband snatcher when I was never there o. 
As for the other guy in naija whom I met just before traveling, we still communicate, he got a good job in Nigeria, he is saying he wants to relocate to Canada so he can be close to me, I'm telling him not to leave his job cos if he comes here he will start from scratch and he won't like it. I feel like he is not serious cos I told him to come with a tourist visa and we can see and he can be visiting.
Guys advice is needed, don't cause me out pls be kind. Thanks in advance. But I don't want to miss out of someone I truly love and care about. And I want a child.

Ah my dear you sound too desperate and might make a mistake...Three men and only you...Rule out the married one abeg, he should go and sort out things with his wife......That black American guy, if his family doesnt want you , my dear you are in for a long thing and if he still listens to them he can walk away from you if his marrying you hurts his family, so that is another wahala...The one in Naija you said is not serious, you should know better...Maybe none of these guys is yours...
If you have been celebate for so long, then you can be a little patient......Dont act so desperate cos no need having a child that the father will not be available....

70 comments:

  1. Pls don’t be desperate. Story of my life. Take your time. Marriage and giving birth isn’t as easy as you think
    This is a lifetime decision u need to take your time and make. And above all listen to Stella. She made good points up there

    Zendaya

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is a little hope with the American, if he can stand by you against his family, they might like you eventually. AAs don't trust Africans, especially Nigerians. After you and the American confirm that your physical chemistry is real, he should be able to apply for a Fianc矇 Visa for you to join him in the US. As long as he has a means of being financially responsible for you, they will grant him. He has known you for 5 years, don't be afraid to ask him.

      Delete
    2. This is why some people say that plenty females get fish brain. A married man told you that he wants to earn more money before filing for divorce in Canada and you believed like you can't reason. Why would he want to wait until his child support and even spousal support payments to his ex will be higher? He will chop and clean mouth. If you like, go and get pregnant. By the time you pay childcare and combine school with being a single mother abroad with limited support your brain will reset.

      Delete
    3. You sound incredibly desperate.

      And I don't know if the desperation is also giving really really mentally slow.

      "People are saying..."
      "You know time is not on my side..."
      "He said she doesn't clean, he said she doesn't give him sex.."
      Buahahahahahahaaaaa, and you too you believe?不不不不
      Abi is not obituary notice on a living wife, just to snack on poosee?

      If it's children you want, go to a sperm bank. If it's a relationship you want, be with a man who will not spend years online claiming to love you but won't make any efforts to see you or at least meet you in another country of choice.

      As for the agbala, singing song of lamentations about his wife because he wants to enter pooseee... don't worry you go learn.不不不不

      Delete
    4. And you say you 'didn't want sex before marriage with your doctor guy...but you just "wanna taste" this your American wonder guy ba... be like your own poosee is not for local content, issokay.

      Delete
    5. Anon 23:42, you're not in his marriage.

      What he is saying might be the truth. It is not every married man that is happy in his marriage. The same with married women too. People get divorced every single day.

      So don't be quick to dismiss the story because it comes from a man

      Delete
  2. Babe you need a break. You really need to calm down, breath! Go on a vacation abi retreat, be careful so you don't end up a single mother.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my gosh! I am not sorry to say this, you sound so freaking desperate. You want to get married this year, so you want to use your life to play ludo..You and Americana break up anyhow. Oga Canada has said bad things about his wife, and you believe him. Do not chook head o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Am I the only one that feels the black American guy “from an influential home” is just one miserable scammer somewhere here in Nigeria
      Poster you are very funny ooo.. the one that wanted to rape you is now serious with you 不 the married man only wants to divorce his wife when he’s settled financially poster you sound like a teenager you know why? Most married men that wants to deceive an aunty usually lie that they’re on the process of divorce but your own deceiver even told you he will divorce only when he has made money uburu azu!
      Better concentrate on your job and keep begging God to send your man.

      Fan Emmanuel

      Delete
    2. I wouldn't have bothered to comment if I saw your comment. Real uburu azu.

      Delete
  4. I laugh in Swahili somebody is deceiving herself ,oya internet advisers over to you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Stella has taken my comments from my mouth. Gbam!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Why not stop for some time and just enjoy life... Everything will work out itself but please leave the married man and stop letting him use u..
    Maybe ur own man is still out there waiting for u..

    ReplyDelete
  7. You may just be a potential cum bucket for these men. The one that painted his wife black, hmmm... be very skeptical. He will yansh you until he's tired and divorce is not a 6months thing. The other one family doesn't want you.... omo.. all you have are fuckmates.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Divorce is 30 days in many places
      If his current wife doesn’t want him, this may be just fine. Some women are just waiting for you to go

      Delete
  8. Take a break from them all. You're not thinking clearly at the moment..You might enter what you'll regret.

    ReplyDelete
  9. She doesn't love any of them. She just wants to have a child or children and if marriage works, good if not she already has an egg or eggs baked.
    Now, seriously don't you imagine that the family of the BA were right after all

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She loves Americana na Abi his read am

      Delete
  10. SDK's purple pen is da bomb today. Poster,please tone down the desperation. If you continue like this,it will end in premium tears and regret. You're in a new country,find your bearings and keep praying,love will find you,without baggage.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Please don't break another person's marriage,calm down and don't be desperate,your own husband will come.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sis, you need to seek the face of God concerning this.you can not afford to make mistakes when its comes to marital issues.you must get it right and you need the holy spirit to guide you through this journey.
    Children comes from God and he will surely give to you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Stella said it all. Dear poster, Please take a deep breath and chill a little.
    Don't do something you might regret later

    ReplyDelete
  14. Replies
    1. Which one among them is the simp these are men that has seen a desperate woman to chop and clean mouth.
      The black American is just a scammer, the rapist could not succeed in a violent way so he has decided to get the ponyor in a deceptive way. The married man is poor and cannot afford an abroad side chick so he has perfected his plans to make this desperate woman his perpetual side chick that he can easily be going to her house to fuck and chop free food. She even plan to get pregnant for him PERPETUAL SIDE CHICK!

      Fan Emmanuel

      Delete
  15. I love love and I could understand the one you love and his fear of going to Nigeria
    But Canada is visa free to Americans and he’s still waiting till summer to come see you. Something is off about it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Look nothing is off the America guy may be very busy ,he may not have travelled out of the US some of us think is easy to travel out of our base yes he can make a weekend trip they both have to work it out.

      Delete
    2. 22:31 story
      You’re talking to someone long distance and you need wheel barrow to come take you to see her

      Delete
  16. Stella's new pen is back and i love it, take stella's advice

    Gifty

    ReplyDelete
  17. I don’t think you are desperate just confused. If you are thinking for marriage then the lineup before you is not good. Do not entangle yourself knowingly with a married man, you or your child will pay the price if you do. The American is well to do so he ticks your box for security but his family is against it and he does not want to rock the boat with them. You did everything to get to Canada to be close to him but he is in no rush to see you. The one in Naija is an unknown. One thing all these men have in common is that they live far from you. Nobody is chasing your soul, the only one really chasing is the married one and he is desperate for vagina since he isn’t getting any. My dear abort mission. Nobody is chasing you like you think and you have no truly good options before you.

    Focus on your finances and future. You sound really young so there is time enough to wait for marriage and babies. For now build a career and your money. The world is so unsure now, set your feet on solid ground and be sure you are entering something worthwhile before jumping in. The best thing to do is to seek God’s wisdom and be patient.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, I get your point.
      Many people here hardly read yet they giving advice. Noted

      Delete
  18. Lady T /worth more than a thousand dollars22 February 2024 at 16:09

    Dear poster, are you okay??? Of course not. You are double minded. And a double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Go check it in the Book of James.
    Leave that married man alone. He is not for you.
    The African American Man, is most likely your man,he's siblings are just being worried amd concerned for him. They also doubt your sincerity. They just want to be sure of who you are. The moment they are sure about you, they will be fine and warm up to you. That's what i see here.
    Stop worrying about age. What you want and desire is a happy marriage not one that is full of issues and sadness. So pls be calming down and and enjoy life at every season.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Confusion sometimes is part of life

      Delete
    2. Ok, thank you.

      Delete
    3. Anon 18:00, seems you are a confusionist. All these wanna be guys

      Delete
  19. Dear poster you sound desperate, not getting married this year is not the end of your life, don't be desperate because desperation lead to bad decision-making, desperate decisions eventually come back to haunt you later in life. Take life one step at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think you should pray fervently about these men, so as not to make a mistake, marriage and babies is sweet with the right partner,to avoid had I known, take it one step at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Pray about it and allow God to direct you.What makes you think that the married man in Canada will be good for you?? Sometimes is better to remain friends than be in a relationship.Dont even think about the guy in Nigeria...I don't know but personally I feel is weird when someone says,'I want to relocate just to be with you'...like seriously??Can't your be rational and think without emotions?it gives this lack of direction and purpose...
    And for the American guy..maybe his family thinks you're not genuine...Most foreigners think all Nigerians are dishonest people so I understand them....Just pray about it..maybe non of them is even ment for you according to Mrs Korkus.

    ReplyDelete
  22. madam, face your front. Relationship or lover is never by force. You should be with a family that will celebrate you and not the one that will frustrate you.

    they have seen that you are too desperate about getting married to their son and want to stop you. From the way you sound, you want to marry this guy by fire by force. Please free him and face your front.

    ReplyDelete
  23. So women still get deceived by married men painting their wives black?? In 2024?? Common sis, that line is stale na. Secondly, is there any man that would want to make more money before he goes for divorce? Knowing well enough that the wife would get more if he has more? My sister why are you letting men lie to u like this? If he was serious abt how bad his wife has been treating him, have they even at least tried separation to see how it would be before the main thing? Guy man is steady still knacking his wife and enjoying the privileges of being married while you are being lied to like the side dish that u r.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry but this generalization helps no one
      Some people are happily married to someone another threw away
      Knew a guy that took total care of his wife and her family. She asked him to leave and brought dv charges against him. He wasn’t convicted but the judge asked him to leave the house. Later she wanted more money and this time another judge reviewed the case. She got nothing and he finally got his house back
      Some people are just plain evil

      Delete
    2. So anon 19:05 without the generalization, pls wat hav u said in ur comment that has anything to do with my comment? You have neither debunked nor brought a superior argument. You just told us the story of a man that got divorced. I never said ppl don’t divorce, they do, i asked if women still agree for men to be lying and painting their wives black while still living with them.

      Delete
    3. 19:56 you can’t be spoon fed everything
      Read and comprehend

      Delete
  24. Poster, as your story continued, what came to mind was: "Omo na you dey reign O!"

    Then, Stella said: "Three men and only you"

    Poster, na only laff man fit laff about this your jovial and breezy chronicle.

    Anyway, since you want men to put mouth, hear this:

    Leave other peoples' marriages alone.

    Woman wey wan leave marriage no dey talk too much. Woman say "I dey go o". But she stand inside room in front of a locked door. She wan go? Answer the question to yourself as you be woman too. Meanwhile, you stand outside in Canadian winter dey wait for am to comot make you enter.

    As for the Americana, if na only pikin you want, continue. But if na marriage, hmmmmm. Sebi una talk say na only Naija men dey be family wrappa. If Ameriacana man still dey tied to family apron and income rope, what do you expect from him in a marriage to him? Again, answer the question to yourself. Is it not clear to you that the family sees you as a gold searcher or below their status?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Poster pls and pls focus more on yourself . You sound so desperate , do not force a man to marry you. Those 3 men are not yours at all. Go out and mingle yours will come believe me .

    ReplyDelete
  26. What an epistle on top relationship matter.
    You sound so desperate and like someone under pressure.
    Above 30 and you are playing with your heart. The only time your family should get involve is when is about to be official.
    Your family said this and that?? Don't you know what you want? Love is a feeling and is only you that have such feeling for your man, your family may not feel same.
    There should be a boundary between you , your man and your family.

    Choose the one that is serious and rest . Love is not hard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Your family said this and that."
      "My family said this and that."
      People say once you reach 30 this and that.
      Sounding like a primary school recital.
      Sweetheart your own man will come without stress.
      This isn't it.
      At all.

      Delete
  27. Just reminds me something like this that happened to a lady. A guy who claims to be in a relationship with this lady knows and contact all her family members but has never spoken or approached this lady for once. I don't know how he managed to convinced her family that he is in a relationship with the lady. He goes behind to talk to them and comes to the front to do another thing. All are hoping that the lady is in a relationship and will soon get married.
    The confusion there is that nobody cares to ask questions.

    When you see mature minds that know what they want and want to settle down, it doesn't come with all these drama you mentioned up there. Just breathe and choose a serious one out of them. players are time waster.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I was reading and nodding before I read "he wants to divorce her when he is financially stable".
    You say what? In this our abroad? He wants to be financially stable so they can slice his properties and give to the wife? Like how does that even make sense?
    Sister, that guy is playing you and likely has no issues with his wife, please run!
    It will be a shame if you fall for this age long scam. Your mantra should be, no divorce papers, no relationship!
    That's the only update I came to drop for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that part is weird unless she’s the source of his current money then he don’t afford to take care of himself

      Delete
    2. Leave story, no be naija guy. Wife wey go don enter 5th pregnancy sef.

      Delete
  29. Oh mine!!! I'm glad m back here ..miss this blog..blog bawo?? This particular internet family world... I don resurrect. Thank you Jesus!Jesus!!...I'm grateful! #nametalkam

    ReplyDelete
  30. That married man,forget it. Until he divorces his wife,don't waste your time. The black american is a difficult one. His family doesn't like you and he does not sound like someone who can stand up to them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly it’s not her they don’t like
      It’s the fact that she may be a 90 day fianc矇 scammer
      Nice show lol

      Delete
  31. Nothing is hard to choose your better half, bring her home and start living together. What is important is that,are you willing to put efforts to make it work.?! Build a happy home where you find peace and happiness. Whatever you are looking out for in a person work on yourself to be the same, so when you meet that person the energy will match .
    Soft heart needs tender, love and care.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Stella thank you for your purple pen.
    Thanks to some here who gave me good advice, thanks to those who said their mind & to those who are proffessionals in mocking peoples situation. Note that these are real life issues and yes it's not a crime to be confused sometimes and seek for direction.
    Now to fan emannuel that kept dancing and laughing around the comment section, black American is no scarmer, I have never given any man money talk more of one living for away, rather I'm the one receiving money from him.
    I agree he might not be my man, he might be wasting my time, but over all he is a good man.

    And I never said the doc that wanted to rape me is the cool guy I met recently.
    The cool guy still communicates with me. We talk and he tells me about his plans. Hopefully we get to realise where we both stand.

    As for the married friend, I'm not keen about it and for real his wife is misbehaving and his sisters know about it. What I'm not sure about is if they will really seperate. And like many of you said she is still with him and I truly don't want to be entangled in that mess, so I agree.

    Honestly I needed to hear people's opinion.
    I'm only in love with one of these men, the black American guy, and not bcos he gives me money, but his personality, the only issue is him not being firm enough with his decision and God help me, I need to detach from this situation, its hard for me, but God will make a way.
    And yes I have been celibate for years, non of these men have seen my privates. It is what it is.
    I'm a very attractive slim lady with curves and many people think I'm 26,but i have not been lucky with this love matter. People don't believe I'm not getting any bedroom action cos I don't look it, I agree I sound confused or desperate.
    But it's all going to be alright soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think free yourself and find someone in canada

      Delete
  33. I feel like you should go with the US guy. The reason they didn't like you was that they felt you were in naija, and you want to use him to japa. They might change their mind knowing you're in Canada. You don't want to be with the married man, he has baggage, and step kids are not easy to deal with. Consider the US guy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don’t even know why someone will
      Want to insert herself into trouble. Even if that man divorce his wife, that still ain’t your husband! If he is, he would have waited for you no matter what. Men like this married man are selfish and always want to have their cake and eat it. It will only work for dumb/desperate folks like this poster. And NO, the black American guy don’t have a mind of his own! His family will always make decisions for him. In short, you have no met your husband. And you better calm down and have enough resources to raise a child. We’re paying a little over $3000 just on child care for two kids here in US. And we have other bills o. Hmmm you think na to just have sex and born pikin. The stress of raising kids will so affect you if you don’t have enough support. Most people work here/canada. So you better calm downnn and marry a husband that’ll support you all the way.

      Delete
    2. A little over $3000 per month*.

      Delete
  34. The married man do see fresh meat he wan chop clean mouth ,you better get sense

    ReplyDelete
  35. Madam Stells it's not her fault that she's got em flocking. Poster you're smart, just choose wisely & follow your heart. Wish you all the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which flocking? Men that are unavailable?? You call that flocking?? No wonder some of you women make marriage mistake. She’s the one chasing these men. By the time they show you shege, poster you’ll be so drained emotionally and mentally. Anyway na you sabi.

      Delete
  36. None of these men are yours o. Each one is a red flag with enough material to sew aso ebi for 1000 people. Who told you that you are less desirable after 30? Is Jeff Bezos not engaged to a fifty something year old? Is your self esteem so low that you will be attracting and managing useless men? Don't go and carry belle for any of them o. The devil is trying to destroy your life. Be team celibate until you settle your schooling and are financially bouyant and can and will attract the right man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in, her self esteem is completely on the floor.

      Delete
  37. Madam u are too desperate...married man...family boy..why do u like unavailable men...have patient..your man will come and u won't stress this much ...no chronicles will be written...women are having babies in their 30s and 40s...if you are worried about babies...go freeze your eggs

    ReplyDelete

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