MONDAY IN HOUSE NEWS

 Monday Hailings!

IN HOUSE RANT OF ALL RANTS.

I salute you all oh...I have been ranting all day cos i could not watch my favourite Zeeone station because the satelite was interrupted by wind...I am expecting the guy to come and fix it today unfailingly...I have called my hubby at work almost 100 times to remind the guy... 

Where are the people that said i need to stop watching to cure the Zeeone addiction? Make una dey play!!!

BV Divine make we wait until tomorrow before i can tell you where i have watched up to.....Make nobody angry me as i dey here so.....

When my Zeeone station returns, I will do giveaway to some Christians and muslims currently fasting......

Who got the Ayyub giveaway to fasting Muslims?

Enjoy the rest of the day.....

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 PINKYS CORNER

I went to Epe from Ibadan for something. Left Ibadan with wify on Friday afternoon and anyone who knows the rout from Ibadan to Epe will know how dangerous that road is, so we left earlier but an unforseen circumstance happened. 

The vehicle that carried us got spoilt in between one unknown bush and wahala started. Me wey don kukuma eat beans and plantain before leaving home. I was so disturbed and not only me, the other passengers. We were there for 4hours, no vehicle stopped to even help out(not their fault but that road is known for kidnapping and other atrocities). 

The driver said he called them at the garage to come check the vehicle or bring another vehicle. I was so mad and I asked him what the problem was and he said it's the car nustle. I asked him to open and let me see, it was then my eyes went straight to the timing belt and I hissed. "Baba, se e ri pe timing belt oko Yin ti ja ni" , he peeped and saw it.
I asked if he has extra and he replied yes. We began to unscrewed all the necessary. Infact, I fixed the timing myself because the driver was an old man. Just immediately after washing my hand, the people he called from Ibadan arrived and there was no need for them any longer. Then the journey began. Hmmmmmm, naso I start to dey pollute the car ooooo.
I noticed one thing, once you are married or dating someone and both has been together for a while. You will always know if it's your partner's pollution or not.

 Wify was sitting right in front of me. As I dey give them back to back, she will just shake her head whenever she perceive the mess. Funny enough, the thing wasn't making any noise, so silent but bad . Me sef no like the smell at all. 

I realized people in the car weren't comfortable but wetin concern me. As Dem dey do hmmm, hmm, naso me too dey do like say no be me but wify was just shaking her head there. I had to chat her up to ask why shaking of head. she replied saying "inu e ti bu".. Yes, I know it's wrong but I can't stop the driver because I want to pollute the air. 

After a while, I think the guy beside me noticed it was me but I no look him face at all. I was enjoying the journey with my mess until I almost poo on myself thinking it was mess that was coming. Immediately we dropped at Epe last bus stop, I quickly ran into the hotel on that same road to use their toilet.
My people, it's not bad to have fun with your mess when travelling now. Some of una sef dey do am at times.abi?
Ire oooooo

LMAOOOOOO

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GIST

Hello Jeweluchi, 
We all need to be careful out there, so much is going on and evil people are devising new methods to strike everyday.
I went to a drink depot that is very close to a police station today, I saw this mammoth crowd trying to go into the police station but the police people tried to send them away.

So I went closer and asked one lady what happened, she said a man boarded a bus from Onitsha and while in the bus, he became thirsty, he called a water vendor to buy from him, the water vendor said 250naira, he tried pricing 200 but the guy that sat next to him in the vehicle told him its too expensive, that he bought 150 at main-market, he said because it's cheaper and chilled, that he bought 3 cans of water,
So he gave the guy one and immediately he opened the water and drank from it, he lost his mind, he started acting up, barking like some dog, they got to a place, the other guy (water giver) said they were stopping, he was even apologising on the guys behalf, saying that he was taking him to somewhere where he will get help.
But one woman in the vehicle was listening to all their conversation, she said what caught her interest was how someone will buy a pack of Aquafina water 2k, chill it with either generator or iceblock at one ice 1200naira and still sell it for 150, she found it absurd, she said she knew when that they both came in and they didn't come in together and that the guy started misbehaving after drinking that water.

Suddenly the water giver was now on fire to come down, he said if they want to carry his brother away, that they should go ahead but should allow him to go his way, so the bus driver parked, came down and asked him to drink from that water he gave the guy, he refused ooo, na that moment them start to de rain blows on him.

He confessed that he charmed the guy but said he can't undo what he did else he will die and he doesn't want to die and they asked him where he was about taking the guy to, he said to his native doctor inside Illah town, he said spiritually that, that guy is now a dog and will continue like that till he dies....
They said wherever he is standing, the young man will go and stand close to him, luckily police patrol team saw them and took them all to the police station....
If na for Onitsha, that water guy for don de burn cos them go lynch am instantly, what kind of wickedness is that...?

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!

Someone drank water and became a dog spiritually? So what does he wanna do with a dog?..I weak oh...Please people learn from this story ooooooh....

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ADVICE TO MEN ON MAN CRUSH MONDAY
- You cannot settle all financial expenses in one day. Those who did are stressfully sick and some are buried already.
- Please create time to rest, it is not a sin to sit down , put up your legs on the table and pick popcorn whilst reading a book or just relaxing
-. Please sleep if need be; that headache will go. Those who refuse to take vacation, or leave, or time out or rest time, their families are missing them because they have gone untimely to their maker.
- Stop taking sedatives to sleep, you are destroying your brain and organs. At a point you will begin to forget things. Relax the brain , worry less, think less, laugh more , smile more. Everything will pass with time.
- Sometimes go and sit outside quietly on your own, do nothing say nothing , just admire God's handiwork, breathe in fresh air calmly. Hurry not.

- Stand by your mirror smile to yourself, laugh , dance, sing, that turns on a positive aura around you so you can glow.

- Get yourself a healthy snack with healthy juice. Just do something for yourself, so you offload the things in your head.

-If you are not feeling well say it , do something about it, go to health centre, hospital or call a nearby nurse, do not sit around, your life matters .
-Check your blood pressure and sugar level occasionally, whether you are sick or not. It has saved a lot of men in the past. Trust me on this.

Remember to tell all the men you love to enjoy life in good health and abundance.

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Side eyes at some alleged Kings..I will be shocked if they dont find fault with what i posted.....LOL

Happy man crush Monday...BE A MAN!!!

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READ THESE

-The fuller the fridge, the more energy-efficient it is.

-Inhale through your mouth, swallow saliva twice and slowly exhale through your nose for a 100% effective hiccup cure.

-Coulrophobia (noun) — the fear of clowns

-Snollygoster (noun) — A politician whose actions are motivated by self-interest rather than morals

-Listening to your favorite songs before bed can help you sleep better and wake up more refreshed

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