Should a husband have access to his wife’s body at any time? Should decisions she makes regarding her own body be subject to his approval? Is bodily autonomy something that should still hold in marriage?
I had the laughably unfortunate experience within the week of being drawn into a matter that I felt with effective communication, the couple could have handled better. The man in question is a security staff in a bank.
I had the laughably unfortunate experience within the week of being drawn into a matter that I felt with effective communication, the couple could have handled better. The man in question is a security staff in a bank.
The wife just got a job as a cleaner in another bank. She was formerly a petty trader. She was his student in secondary school but somehow, 1 enter 0 and belle result. They’ve been married for 16 years. She is 39. I don’t know how old the husband is.
After 6 kids, the oldest being 16 and the youngest being 2, madam don carry belle again. They were doing withdrawal method until it failed. And she is insisting she won’t keep it but the husband is saying she must.
After 6 kids, the oldest being 16 and the youngest being 2, madam don carry belle again. They were doing withdrawal method until it failed. And she is insisting she won’t keep it but the husband is saying she must.
Now I don’t know how much security staff in banks earn but I figure it must not be enough. This couple and 6 kids live in two rooms in a ramshackle compound and their children make it a habit to always come to my home to join my kids to eat.
Meat based Protein is rarely a part of their meals at home so they are always around my family. Late last year though, I had to tell my Mrs that I don’t want that to continue anymore.
Now with 6 kids you are barely struggling to feed, sometimes they cook swallow and go beg for soup or cook soup and go beg for swallow, how does any reasonable man think adding another child to the mix would make sense?
I for one believe in being very intentional about having children. I planned each of the three I have. Down to the age difference and the gender (yeah maybe I exaggerated there). It might be pseudo-science but I read that there is a time you meet a woman during her ovulation and it determines the gender of the child. I tried that with my third and got the girl I was looking for.
Now with 6 kids you are barely struggling to feed, sometimes they cook swallow and go beg for soup or cook soup and go beg for swallow, how does any reasonable man think adding another child to the mix would make sense?
I for one believe in being very intentional about having children. I planned each of the three I have. Down to the age difference and the gender (yeah maybe I exaggerated there). It might be pseudo-science but I read that there is a time you meet a woman during her ovulation and it determines the gender of the child. I tried that with my third and got the girl I was looking for.
I digress.
Back to our original discourse.
Back to our original discourse.
Wife says she doesn’t want another baby, husband is insisting she must birth the child. She is saying it is her body and she determines whether to carry the pregnancy or not. Husband is saying he has authority over her body and has the right over it.
Na spirikoko him be so im dey quote scripture follow am. The matter is still ongoing but I am pretty sure she will get rid of it fairly soon and I think she should.
My take?
My take?
I 100% believe a woman has full body autonomy and should decide if she will carry a child to term or not. But the choice of abortion should be mutual between couples. Yes! It is stupidity to bring children to the world you can’t adequately take care of. When birth control fails, desperate interventions are needed.
I am not one who believes in black or white. I see the world in shades of gray. I have seen pregnancy and its impact on women up close ( my wife is still very conscious of her post birth body in spite of my constant reassurances ), so the decision to go through with that should remain solely hers.
Like the late 2pac Shakur said in his song ‘Keep ya head up’, “And since a man can’t make one, he has no right to tell a woman when and when to create one.”
No woman should be forced to birth a child she isn't prepared for just as no man should force the birth of a child he will struggle to provide for. At the same time, no woman should force a man into fatherhood when he has stated or clearly shown that he can't handle that additional responsibility. This is a recipe for disaster later.
It okay to want or not want to have kids. For those who do desire them however, they must be intentional and be on the same page about it.
Have a great and lovely afternoon everyone.
I am not one who believes in black or white. I see the world in shades of gray. I have seen pregnancy and its impact on women up close ( my wife is still very conscious of her post birth body in spite of my constant reassurances ), so the decision to go through with that should remain solely hers.
Like the late 2pac Shakur said in his song ‘Keep ya head up’, “And since a man can’t make one, he has no right to tell a woman when and when to create one.”
No woman should be forced to birth a child she isn't prepared for just as no man should force the birth of a child he will struggle to provide for. At the same time, no woman should force a man into fatherhood when he has stated or clearly shown that he can't handle that additional responsibility. This is a recipe for disaster later.
It okay to want or not want to have kids. For those who do desire them however, they must be intentional and be on the same page about it.
Have a great and lovely afternoon everyone.
Withdrawal method without the use of spermicide and keeping track of the ovulation cycle is a waste of time.
ReplyDeleteWhat a pickle for an already financially stretched family to be in.
I agree with your position, @DOGgedity. I don't know when in 2026 marriage started cancelling personhood. Every individual's body is their primary ownership. So, a woman does not hand over her body at the altar, and a man does not gain ownership by virtue of being a husband or having paid a bride-price. In this argument, bodily autonomy survives marriage because the physical cost of pregnancy is borne by one body alone. I repeat, by ONE BODY alone.
ReplyDeleteThat said, marriage also creates shared consequences - the gift and the curse, you'd say. Children are not abstract ideas - never have been, and never will be. They require food, space, time, money, mental strength, and emotional stamina. When those resources are already stretched thin, insisting on another child is not faith or authority. It is denial. Yes, spiritually it may be wrong. But desperate interventions are needed, in some desperate situations.
Without doubt, control often disguises itself as morality when people feel powerless elsewhere. And in this case, scripture has become a tool where responsibility feels overwhelming. But physiology, economics, and lived reality do not bend to quotations.
The final decision rests with the woman because the risk is hers alone to bear. The conversation, however, should be mutual because the aftermath is shared. Anything else will be reseated - that quiet sabotage, or lifelong bitterness.
Children are gifts that should be chosen, not endured or gambled on. And marriage works best when neither partner is coerced into making sacrifices that the other will not carry.
Bodily autonomy exists FOR THE INNOCENT CHILD you want these parents to mur. der in a Molech fashion where a guiltless innocent life is sacrificed for the sake of the parents' convenience. Any money coming in afterwards is just as blood tinged as if they went to pound one of the 6 in a mortar in some Baba's dirty shrine.
ReplyDeleteThis child is not the mother's body but lives in the only party of her body where foreign life that is not parasitic can survive.
Your family's challenges didn't make a good enough reason for your own life to be cut short in the most vulnerable state of development . Every advocate for ending the life of the unborn was not ended prior to birth.
Enough of silly excuses for spilling innocent b loo d.
That something is commonplace doesn't mean it isn't vile and evilllll. At a time in this world, everyone with means to owned another human being or held their communities under siege.
The excuse of who will take care of it is also baseless as it is still part of the subjective "convenience" argument. It's a life you have no right to truncate. No one is ending the lives of the invalid, jobless, unintelligent, aged etc because they are unable to care for themselves.
I don't understand your argument. People struggling to provide for the kids they have already should still birth more? In what way are they being fair to the kids they already have?
DeleteLet's not make arguments from the point of privilege please.
You have already placed a lock on your protein, which is good- they are adults who should take responsibility for their actions. Why also advocate for the ending of this life of a child WHO IS ALREADY ALIVE AND IN THE WORLD just because of it's current confinement to it's mother's womb?
DeleteEx womb dwellers delegating on ending an innocent life because they got here first is M U R D E R no matter the euphemism. Domestic and familiar eugenics in the name of helping the poor is morally evil and vile.
Advise them not to make other babies but this one is already made and has every right to keep living. They are pregnant with an innocent child, not a sacrifice for the family to slaughter in exchange for good times or maintaining status quo. The child is not her body. It is it's own body, a fellow human with a unique genetic footprint and destiny.
If someone took a gee. U. N to the IDP camps to help them end/prevent the suffering of the ages, pregnant, infants and co to "end their suffering", nagging will not cease on this blog but look at the number of people who actively choose to Buhari/Tinubu/Abacha the most vulnerable human class who cannot advocate for themselves.
Knowing the type of husband she has, she would have done an abortion and faced front without telling him, na everything you go tell your spouse.
ReplyDeleteNow imagine the back and forth she is in.
If you're a Christian, then there's nothing like body autonomy in a marital union (you need to edit your write-up). 2 becomes 1 is the Biblical Principle and that's THAT.
ReplyDeleteThe couple needs to discuss it and on time too. The woman should've known her husband. Why didn't she quietly go to remove it instead of all this argument after an unnecessary reveal, as if she wouldn't have done so if the belle had been an illegal one.
To whom brain is given, sense is expected
Great write up. 1 go surely enter 0
ReplyDeleteI don't know where they are based, but if they are in Lagos, the wife should go to a primary health center for family planning, abeg. It's free of charge
ReplyDeleteIt's really unfortunate how the most vulnerable of humans are sacrificed on the altar of convenience by their irresponsible parents.
ReplyDelete