The Journey Of A Baby Mama Series -3

#GatherForABabyMamaSelfie...

The Journey of a baby mama is not an easy one at all.....Today i will be discussing something that must have happened to you before if you are a baby mama.....

Hello guys hope we all had a fun weekend? Mine was stressful but I thank God.

Reading some comments of the last series got me laughing because you guys already think I am lucky, my brothers and sisters I am not ooo but I am glad that things are getting better sha. Being a mother really changed me for good; I used to be a feeble and lazy person but mehn as I began to see how things were playing out, realizing someone depended on me I became stronger than I could ever imagine. I became more tolerant and patient but I don’t allow people talk down on me no matter who the person may be.



Talking about how men try to take advantage of single mothers, I remember the case of an illiterate pastor who came to pray for my brother to travel outside the country at my family home. He was always frequenting our house because we prayed morning, afternoon and night for my brother. So one day after prayers, he told me he needed to talk with me privately, in my mind I thought he had a prophecy for me that he didn’t want my family to hear.




So when we sat down to talk, he came up with how he has seen me struggling and how God will bless me with a good husband soon, I responded positively. He started making other side comments relating to him, at first I didn’t understand where he was driving to till he made his point clear that God instructed him to take that responsibility, Kai! I looked at the pastor and looked back at myself. I asked him what responsibility he was talking about, he replied with the responsibility of being my husband.




I finished him with mouth that day and he respected himself by focusing on his main reason of coming around.


I didn’t do what I did because he was an illiterate, of course that was a factor too but I did it mainly because he thought he could rope me into his life because I needed help desperately (not like he was doing well self, just a poor pastor), he thought he was doing me a favor. It was after some months I got to hear that he was already married and even impregnated a girl.


It took me 2 years after delivery to start hanging out again or even go out on a date. Surprisingly my big tummy became flat again; in fact I looked even younger than before so it was hard to know that I have a child except when I open my tummy.


So I met a guy, he was so into me and all, one day while we hung out I told him my status, he was surprised and kind of wanted to know more, he even insisted on seeing my child, so I took him home to see her, he was just drooling because my daughter was a cutie as a toddler. He told me he would call when he gets to his base but alas that was the last time I heard from him.

I felt bad because he rejected me for my child, but I didn’t dwell on it so much because I was already schooled about this happening from my mother.


The one that upset me more was the way a particular friend of mine was behaving towards me and my child, this person was supposed to be my padi. She made it very clear that as a single mum I shouldn’t be proud of my child that is, I shouldn’t be dotting on her the way mothers do with their kids, why because I happened to have her in the improper way.


She went ahead to tell me that when I start dating again, in order not to encounter what happened between me and the other guy, that it would be safer for me to keep my status to myself till I see the seriousness in the person and maybe when wedding preparations are in full gear, then I would reveal everything because to her the guy would find it difficult to let go at the moment.




Imagine the height of such deception. She also said if my husband does not want my child to live with us that I could keep her with my mother, and visit sometimes, in fact she suggested that I should try not to get attached to her so that in future if I wanted to travel out I could go with my new family, while my daughter stayed back.


We argued about this heatedly, I told her I would never stoop low to do such a thing to any man and also I wasn’t desperate for a man. I told her that any man that wants me must also want my child, in fact love her as his own, I would rather remain single than see my child suffer for my selfish decision. She seemed blinded by her own opinion that she blurted out that I am not remorseful for my actions, that I feel entitled. Meanwhile this was a lady that had been enjoying so much with her boyfriend even before I got pregnant; she had aborted codedly because she is in the medical field and so knew her way around such things, (don’t ask me how I got to know).


At the end, I told her to wait till she became a mother to see if she could trade her child for anything else. This conversation I had with her really hurt me so bad, I couldn’t imagine myself giving up my little one because I wanted my groove back or because I needed to settle down desperately to her own detriment. My friend somehow expected me to heed her so called advice, but instead the bond between my child and I became stronger.


Please other single mothers, did you guys ever get such advice and how did you manage or pull through? Did you trade your child for your happiness and are you really happy now?
CIAO