Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Thursday, December 13, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmmmmm..........This is a long but very interesting read!!!!








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

EPIC BRAIN WASHING


I am from a Muslim and polygamous home. My mum has four of us for my dad being the only wife he has now. His divorced wives had two and three children for him respectively. My mum also had a son before marrying my dad.


My immediate elder sister was just three years when my aunt (mum's younger) took her from my parents. This my aunt was my mum's closes and dearest sibling. My aunt too my sister while she was still schooling and living with her mother (my grandma). Pls, note that my parents are farmers so my aunt didn't want any of us to grow in the farm with them. So I later joined them at home and when my aunt finished secondary school, she left home, leaving my sister and myself with our grandma. In 2005 my sister joined my aunt in the city and in 2009 I joined my brother (the one my mom had) in the city too.


In 2011, my brother needed to change location, so I was left alone and I gladly told him I can be on my own but he insisted that he will talk to our aunt to let me sister come stay with me to keep me company. This was how my sister and I started living together again.


While we were living together, I got to know of so many things from her about our aunt. How bad she is and doesn't want anyone to go farther than her in life (my aunt couldn't further her education to higher institution). Pls take note that over the time she was with my aunt in the city, there were many reports to my mum by her on how my aunt is always maltreating her. Not giving her advice on way forward about life after secondary school. I was made to understand that my aunt exposed her to petty jobs (jobs of 3,500, 4000 naira salary) instead of helping her get admission. These reports made me hate my aunt as she now seems a doubled face person to me. My mum started having issues with her sister because whenever my sister tells her something, she would tell my mum not to ask my aunt because she doesn't want to cause problem between them. And over time, my aunt began to notice withdrawal of my mum from her gradually. My young heart was poisoned in a way that while with my aunt, we could gist and laugh but deep down, I wouldn't be feeling her.


I am 26 and my sister is 29. She keeps telling people that she's our mum! Even on social media she refers to me as my daughter and kid sis. My sister is the type that wants to belong to certain class but I am directly opposite. In my family, university was a luxury (until I broke the jinx). In 2011, when I told my sister that I wanted to sit for GCE to rewrite WAEC, she discouraged me not to, because we don't have a sponsor. I went ahead and sat and rather applied with Open University where I could work to pay my fees. While I was ready to register, my sister saw it as a competition, she said she couldn't tell anyone that I her younger sister is in the university while she's not! So she was admitted too but dropped out because she wanted to look for husband instead.


I've never seen anyone so in a hurry to marry. In 2016, she got married. When she met the man, on enquiry, this man told her that whenever he's with a woman, no matter what he never gets erection! To cut long story short, my sister went ahead and married him throwing my advice to the dustbin. She told me she told my mum what the man said but she asked told her to go ahead as far as she has a married daughter. I got to know my mum didn't know the potency of the man after she was married. A year after she left there....


A year after, she left there..


...she had to leave because my mum was not comfortable with the marriage (for the 15months she was married, my dad never knew the husband and my mum thinks if the man was potent, his wife of 8years would had left him).


While we were together, I have a guy (I am still with now), do you know that whenever I call or he calls me (then he was in school) in the presence of my sister, it's a problem because when I pick his call, my sister will start hissing. This is a guy she knows and also knows that we are really into each other. She later told me that the reason she usually behaves like that is because she feels disrespected. That whenever we are gusting and my guy calls, I should have ignored his call until we are done, that she knows I usually excuse myself to pick his call o but I should have done more by not picking at all, that his calls can always wait. I had a thought over her attitudes towards my guy and whenever his name was mentioned and came to a conclusion that she's reacting that way maybe because she doesn't have a good relationship, so mine is making her feel bad for her self, so I usually ignored her and in order not to add salt to her injury, I never discussed him with her.


When she was getting married to the man, the man said he just wanted to pay dowry (it was paid to my dad's oldest son who reside in the same city we reside. They met in August and in November they were wedded. My dad said since my step brother is here and the occasion wasn't a big one, it can hold at his premises. My sister wanted a reception so she spent over about 300k from her savings for the reception. During the wedding prep, I supported her as much as I could. 




Truth is I didn't give her money but I sincerely followed her up and down. She had asked what I will gift her with and I said Microwave. I thought I could get a small one/brand for 20k so I felt I could handle it. Few days to the wedding, my sister informed me when she returned from my aunt's place that my aunt got something that looks like microwave to gift her (my aunt stays in s different part of the same city so I couldn't see the stuff she got) that the reason she just told me is for me to hold on so that we don't get her two microwaves. The wedding held on a Saturday so on Friday, I didn't go to work, we moved to my aunt's place. I told my sister that I am gonna tell my aunt to let me see the pack of the item but she said no that I shouldn't bother as I can always get it for her after the D day in case what my aunt got is different. 



Then, we had to rush to the market to get a few things. My sister made me understand that every of our close relations got items inform of souvenir to share to guests including our last born that am I not going to buy something. I told her I don't have enough money to cover that, she turned and said, you don't have to be complaining, we have all waited for this day, aren't you going to do anything that makes your elder sister happy? Stella, that's how I bought things with the money and went home. November and December and the little money I had invested in MMM which I hoped to use part of it to pay school fees and house rent collapsed! I had to starve myself before I could pay school fees and house rent.


Whenever I visited my sister in the first few months, I would mention that I have not forgotten her gift that it was MMM that caused it and she'd tell me not to worry but surprisingly this January while I was home for holiday, she travelled home too and we both spent the holiday at my maternal home where we grew up with grandma.. She called me to one of our rooms and said she wants us to talk. She said one, she got married in 2016 November, my guy couldn't attend because of school and it's over a year now, he hasn't visited her. Two, She doesn't know what's going on in my relationship with my guy that I think I am matured enough to be on my own. Three, that she got married and I didn't buy her gift! I explained that this Guy's elder sister respected me enough to attend the wedding, you never give me and this guy chance as you always frown whenever his name is mentioned to I decided not to talk to u about him; I felt I should respect your feeling since you had nothing serious going on. This guy and I don't fight much, there's never been need to report him to anyone, we've never had issue we can't handle so what will i be discussing with you. And for the gift, I thought you'd understand that I had school fees to pay and basic needs. I even believed if I buy it, knowing I just lost some money, you'd scold me and insist I should have used yo money to eat..


 Stella..my sister responded that since I don't talk about it anymore she didn't know that I still have it in mind!


I was earning 10k when I began my journey at the National Open University of Nigeria. My Salary progressed to 40k within years and this is what sustained me through. My guy is from a humble background too, it was just determination that saw him through school too so I couldn't worry him for my fees when he has his to pay. I couldn't wear clothes like my mate, I would 'bend-down-and-select' a #200 shirt for office wears. I'd get a shoe of #1,200 and use it until its sole tears. Basic things became luxury because I was very conscious of my spending else I won't be able to pay my fees. It was out of the 40k I would attend to all my financial need and still manage to save to pay fees. I honourably rounded up last February!


When we began living together, we would contribute money to buy foodstuff but at a point, she told me not to be adding money that she could buy it alone. She earns 10k salary but from the beginning to the end of every month, she gets money that's close to 100k sometimes. She works as a secretary in a mechanic workshop, so she interact with people more, her boss and some customers dash her money. So, most times, she goes to the market and get foodstuff in bulk and I'd be faced with buy some other ingredients to cook it because I close earlier than she did. Gadgets nkor, she no let me buy. When I've paid my school fees and want to buy anything, I'd tell her, I had so much respect for her as my elder sister, when I tell her, she'd tell me not to bother that we don't need it, after spending the money, she'd go and but that same thing and if I complain, she'd say she had forgotten she told me we don't need it and I would swallow the hurt. I didn't report her to my mum or parents all the time I was supposed to because I felt we are too young for my mum to start settling us. If we can't feed them yet, we shouldn't give them worry.


When she was in the marriage, I was now alone and had reflection on all.that happened while we were together, I made my findings and realised that my Aunt isn't what she was painted to me. I visited her one day and we talked, that's when I realised that the same way my sister told my mum things and tell her not to ask my aunt is the same way she told my aunt and tells her no to mention it to my mum. So my aunt was feeling bad towards my mum and that's how my mum is feeling to, coded though. When I realised this, I called my mum and talked to her, I also talked to my Aunt to settle whatever she has with my mum for they were here and very close even before our birth so, they shouldn't allow their children or child to come in between them.


When my sister left her marriage this last February, she rented a place of 80k and furnish it. She asked me to come stay with her after I had asked our last born staying with me to go keep her company, I told her no because I was so happy that she had left me alone when she got married. So staying with her again will strangulate me. I didn't tell her this though, I just told her no that I want to be fully independent.


My sister drew our two younger ones closer and started brainwashing them. They now see me as a wicked sister. They said I always complain that I don't have money. I don't spend on them or give them clothes like my sister does. My younger ones are 22 and 19years respectively. They said I now take my guy over them (we've done introduction and are preparing to hold a small occasion soon). This guy spends time at my place and his brother's where he base, myself and this my guy are very close. My sister once told my younger sister that with the way I am close to my guy, time would come that I will forget that I have parents not to talk about siblings. Stella, not that this guy is leading me astray o. He had stretched hands of friendship to my sister but she didn't give him chance, she always put up this attitude of she's my mum so what does he want them to be cracking joke about!


The day this guy and my mum first met, it was divine. My mum had attended her cousin's daughter's wedding and was returning to her base and coincidentally, my guy was visiting his elder brother who lives a village away from my mum. They endeared same vehicle but before the boarded, he sighted my mum, he had seen her pictures before, so his instinct told him that's my mum, he went and greeted her and introduced himself. I had told my mum about him (our relationship was 3yrs old then) so my mum was really happy and embraced him. His elder brother later accompanied him to visit my parents. Till this day, he still cherishes that unplanned meeting. When I told my sister, she was angry that my mum was too forward, my mum would've acted like she has no idea who he was because the way him met my mum is not respectful!


My sister did one thing that finally drew me away from her. When she left her marriage in February. She called to see me. On getting there she told me that there's a man who's asking to marry her. I told her to calm down and relax, she needs to get a job and heal both emotionally and psychologically. She also just left a man's house and should not let any man to take advantage of her vulnerability or her state of mind at that moment. She told me that she intended to wait till the end of the year and probably wait till after her 30th birthday being May 2019 but the reason she wants to consider him is because my step brother told her that a herbalist told him that my sister should get married immediately else she would never find a husband. I found this unbelievable. So, I called my brother and acted like I was thanking him for the discovery but he said he didn't discussed such and nothing close to that with her. The day I confronted my sister with the truth, i had never seen my sister as shocked as she was that day. She was stuttering and ended up saying she's sorry, she didn't know that's what she told me. It was this my brother that link her up with the former husband. He knew the man but didn't know what the man's problem was. He asked my sister to go close to the man and find out what problem the man has. Upon discovering, my sister told me that our brother said she shouldn't marry him because of his condition but she insisted.


I was angry when I discovered this lie she told me. Because, if my mum is a bad woman, she could start to hate my brother because he was the one who connected her the first time and if she isn't lucky this time around again, it will be like my brother doesn't want her to progress marriage-wise. And my anger triggered, thinking that if she could lie on my brother without thinking of the problem it could bring, then she can lie on me too and I may not be lucky enough to be asked for the truth. For this reason, I withdrew from her.


But she has brainwashed my two sisters, I feel really alone. I am now the different person among them. They hide things from me. In this world filled with so much pain, how will I cope without a sister to discuss about life with? And I am not the type that keep friends; as I don't want anyone to lead me astray.


Thank you for your time!!
And pardon my errors.

56 comments:

  1. Too long abeg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got confused reading this. My sister, my brother, my aunt, my sister again, my younger sister .......

      I tiya abeg. I nor fit finish am

      Delete
    2. Poster, I read till the end. Awwwww is what I can say. Learn to summarise your points and pass the main points across.
      You'll be fine ok. You have a good head on your shoulders. Ignore them, make "good" friends. Remain good yourself and you will be fine. Xx

      Delete
    3. I only read the first and last paragraph. Poster you'll be fine.

      Delete
    4. It’s not a must to be friends, family isn’t always blood, I am more concerned about this your boyfriend husband, make sure he has a job before you fully get married, this one that he lives with his brother.
      Look for new friends, even if it’s just one, cus with the way your sister is she can even go diabolical

      Delete
    5. I usually read long novels without complaint but this story is so confusing that I stopped at the 3rd paragraph!!!

      Delete
    6. This just remind me of "the palm wine drinkard" by Amos Tutuola. Poster, you people are all so petty. Make una settle abeg.

      Delete
  2. Jesus!!!!!so what is the head and tail?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao
      Sharon, I never expected the last paragraph to be her reason for sending in a chronicle.

      Babe,you sure don't have a problem. Hold on to JESUS and befriend him.

      Delete
  3. Eyeshadow ๐Ÿ‘€13 December 2018 at 15:19

    Your sister na serious daleru.
    She's the one that doesn't want her siblings to be greater than her.
    She's against your guy because she doesn't want you to succeed before her hence her by fire by force approach to marriage. (plus marrying someone who's impotent, mehn!)
    Keep being nice to your younger ones and don't ignore them. They'll eventually see her for who she truly is.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just look at your thinking, u feel having friends is a bad idea cos they may lead u astray, are u a baby, no wonder your elder sister is dancing skelewu on your head cos, she knows u think like a child, your sisters don't want u so stay on your own na since u don't wamt friends, just wasted my time reading this.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is the story of my life, but for mine is a brother. I was Just 6 months old when my mom passed away. I did not get to see her. She gave birth to my elder brother and me . I was raised by my uncle and his wife. Blog visitors, I really suffered. But do you know the one that hurt me the most, my only biological sibling hates me with passion because I went to school. His plan was to be the only educated one .My Dad remarried when I was 9. Do you know that my brother prefers my half siblings over me. My uni days was hell, but I heard it all. After my uni days, I began to show them pepper. As for my brother, I have cut him off. It's going to a year now, we dnt talk. I will extend it to his kids and my kids. For all the pain he caused me, I will make sure he doesn't get close.Who I feel sorry for is my late mom cos wherever she is, she wont be happy about this, but that boy hurt me too much, I am done with him and everything concerning him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eeeyaaaa I feel your pain dear. Maybe your brother treated you bad because he felt you took his mother away from him.

      Delete
  6. See as my eyes dey pain me, i can't continue reading this

    ReplyDelete
  7. Talk to your other siblings and your mum, you need to clear your name and if they still won't believe you, let them be. Time will expose the truth.

    ReplyDelete
  8. abeg I no read again. I don tire

    ReplyDelete
  9. I no come understand this chronicle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The most confused chronicle I have ever read in 4 years here. As in konfusedly konfused aswear.

      Delete
    2. The most confused chronicle I have ever read in 4 years here. As in konfusedly konfused aswear.

      Delete
  10. Hmm long story, all I can say is what if you were an only child wont you survive ? I am a middle born of 3 sisters, the last child is almost like your sister not as bad as yours but you know what I left all of them and only reach out to them once in while. I dont keep friends too but I built a good relationship with God and it has been awesome. My advise leave them alone they will come around at the right time and if they dont, what if you are an only child ?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear poster, I have seen worse. My sister's and their husband did same until God exposed them. Thankfully I have 2 sister's that fat my back anyday. Mine is a longer longer version of yours.
    Good you are getting ready to set up your home. Just focus on YOU,YOUR CAREER and YOUR NEW HOME. Don't let any negative vibe bring you down. Call them when you want to but maintain your lane
    Apologize when you are right or wrong
    Ensure you are happy always
    Do things that make you happy
    Try to connect with people or reconnect if possible
    WORK HARD AND BE SUCCESSFUL!!!

    GOD BLESS YOU

    ReplyDelete
  12. This chronicle too long oo... poster just let your sisters be and stay on your own. When the time is right, they’ll reach out to you

    ReplyDelete
  13. What a Long Read.

    I will consider her an enemy of progress .

    Be careful what you discuss with her.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Dear stay clear from that your sister, she bad news. If you can sit your two other sisters down and really have a discussion with them the better. Stay very very away from your sister and also take your relationship away from her. You will be fine okay.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Long boring Chronicle. Poster, Focus on yourself and forget about your sister. A word of advice, when next you are sending Chronicle, please don't let it exceed 250 words.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Your last paragraph... I don't want to be led astray by friends. Such mentality! With that statement I don't like your kind of person

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She doesn't need you to like her.

      Delete
    2. Maybe she is a tata with no mind of her own.
      Or maybe she leads others astray.

      Delete
  17. My eyeeeeesssssssss๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜–

    ReplyDelete
  18. Your sister is POISON itself. She has deep rooted issues that have not been dealt with. Stay far away from her for now, lest she poisons your system by manipulating you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly!
      Be polite to her and respect her as an elder sister, but until she starts treating you and fiance nicely, stay away from her.
      She's petty, vindictive, and wicked, and also a liar!
      Please for your own sanity, stay away from her.
      You write well, may God bless you with a good job soonest and may your marriage be blissful and blessed.

      Delete
  19. God will see you through

    ReplyDelete
  20. Don't worry God knows everything

    ReplyDelete
  21. Two of you get as you be. Poverty is actually the root cause. You all think life is a competition. It really isn’t.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Your sister has a lot of problem. Don't worry. Just be urself. Just as u discovered she brainwashed ur mum and aunt,ur younger sisters will still know her for who she really is. Don't hate her o. Just pray for her.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Why are you losing sleep over your nasty, sick sister. She needs help obviously. Learn to live joyfully and in peace with or without her. As for your other sisters, keep being nice to them, it won't be long, they will come crying to you. They will also get their share of your sister's nasty behavior. When they come, receive them gladly. Sorry to say, your elder sister is an old ill-trained dog that is fix in her silly ways. The best you can do is to pray for her.
    It is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Please, grow up. Jesus Christ is the only friend that you need. Just focus on making it in life and things will fall into the right places. Best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
  25. My dear, there are friends that stick closer than family. Just pray for the right ones. As for your sister, your success isn't dependent on her, so cut her off and move on. For your siblings, keep calling them occasionally, check on them. In today's world, no one is worth dying for unless they can also die for you.
    You'll be fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. true.
      Maybe it's time for you to have one or two friends.
      It's not entirely a bad idea.

      Delete
  26. Please focus on your life. It’s okay to distance yourself from her for your own peace of mind. Be nice to everyone regardless. I pray your heart is healed so you can be nice to them regardless of what’s going on. From a distance.

    You have done so well for yourself. May you continue to grow in grace.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Jeez. I had to stop Abeg. Jesus please fix whatever it is. Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  28. My sister directly elder to me is the person u just talked about.she turned the family against me.men almost same.all my siblings believed her.but today she is the loner.just leave them.they will all come around plus ur sister

    ReplyDelete
  29. Pls didn't you learn summarization in school, due to d long epistle I couldn't understand anything

    ReplyDelete
  30. Be patient lady,the way you found out who your sister truly is is the way your other siblings will get to know her too,siddon look is the best approach,try to fill your time with nice things so you don't think too much about them,everyday is for the thief........

    ReplyDelete
  31. Could not finish it , don’t we have summary button?

    ReplyDelete
  32. You are related to Reuben Abati . I no read again abeg no vex.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Poster you need to look at yourself also. Although this is your version, I'm sure your sister has her own version. From what you have said, you started the situation with your sister with your secrecy. I understand her complaint about your behavior when your boyfriend calls. She wanted to be a big sister and be part of her younger sister relationship gossip but you shunned her out. You admitted that she even bought all the household items when you were together. Truth is your boyfriend caused the conflict. You have no right to judge her about her relationship. She even confided in you that shows she cares. You are losing your sisters because of your ways not hers.

    Stop the self pity and understand how your selfishness is destroying your relationship with your family. Your boyfriend is manipulating you and your sisters can see it. She thinks you are selfish for your participation in her wedding and she lied to you about your brother for fear of being judge by you and your actions of trying to shame her for it proves my point. Your sisters thinks you are selfish because they see you are. They see that the only person you care about is you and your boyfriend.

    Even the conversation with your aunt about your sister reeks of deep rooted anger on your part. I can't imagine having a conversation about my sister with my aunt. For what na? No matter wetin she do I won't do that. My mom yeah but my aunt?

    Plus you seemed jealous of your sister's success with her job. The way you chipped it in there with less significance to show her in bad light shows it. I know because I can feel it from your writing. You have alienated them in favor of your boyfriend and if you don't change your ways, you will lose them completely. So poster remove the dirt from your face before you remove your sister's.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Disjointed write up. Reading and comprehending this write up na pure torture. Mtcheww.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Nne, family isn't always blood. You are still quite naive and Your sister is aware and milking your ignorance. Let her be. Ignore her like she doesn't exist and if anyone wants to join her to hate you, give them a distance too. Time will reveal her true nature. There are people who are not happy and who would not want someone else to be happy. Take a break from such people, they are toxic. Read up on how to get a thicker skin. Make some friends and start acting like an adult. Your family may not like you, but will eventually respect you for your choices. May God give you the strength to toughen up.

    ReplyDelete
  36. My biological siblings did the same me to me after i suffered to bring abroad then they started destroying me with witchcraft including my own mother who was abandoned by my Father without a roof over her head i built her a house but greed would not let them be thanks to Prayers. God punished them with poverty they have lived abroad for yrs and nothing to show for. All the things they made me to go through all in the name snatching my properties and changing in there names i took them to Court they all fell flat on there ragidy lazzy asses now brokeness is there first names. Stop using juju on innocent people and people who fed you when you didnt have. God is wonderful calling me a barren woman after using juju on me today am a proud mother of a very handsome son with a loaded husband. I cut all contacts with them. Thank you Jesus.

    ReplyDelete
  37. polygamy is the major cause of the confusion. but that your elder sister is a bad person and influence. stay committed to ur man but dont forget your mother and siblings

    ReplyDelete

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