Stella Dimoko Mrs Dee's Corner - Compromise In Marriage...


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Friday, January 01, 2021

Mrs Dee's Corner - Compromise In Marriage...

Marriage brings two individuals from different backgrounds, with divergent personalities and habits and binds them together....

It's one place where just one difference in perspectives or ways of doing things can tear a couple apart if a compromise is not reached.....

it could be something as minute as turning off/on the light while going to bed, raising or lowering the toilet cover after using the loo, sleeping positions and the infamous pressing of toothpaste either from the bottom or middle.

When hubby and I just tied the knot, right from the hotel room was where I discovered that he couldn't sleep with the lights on and I found it difficult to doze off with the lights off. It was strange to him that I could sleep with the full glare of the electric bulb on my face, while I thought it weird that he was not perturbed by sleeping in the dark.

Many other surprises awaited us in the course of our marriage as I realized he would always press the toothpaste up after each use, while I couldn't be bothered with such flimsy affair.

I was the tea 'slurper' and hubby found this downright annoying and would try to remind me to drink without making that irritating and nerve-grating sound, Lol . 
It took a while, but I finally adjusted.

We've had our shares of differences and while some have been resolved amicably, we've learned to concede to each other, while overlooking certain flaws and habits.

It's however ironic that what one couple can reach a compromise on, is what another couple will never agree to give in to.
I guess this has to do with the peculiarity that comes with each spouse....


  1. The best solution is to allow each other be themselves.
    Like your husband that doesn't like to sleep with light off, the best thing to do is for you to go to another room and turn off the light and sleep.
    Life is very simple

    1. I dont advice husband and wife sleeping in different rooms.

      No marriage will work out without compromise, you just both needs to let go of a lot of things.

      My husband and I have a lot of differences and at the earliest stage of our marriage he will compromise for peace to reign, he did it so much that i started feeling bad anytime such happened.

      We are from totally different background,my parents are separated, he grows up with a lot of love. I was a self sponsored OND holder(thou i went back to school after marriage), he had his masters with ACCA. His parents are well educated and i wonder why they agree to the marriage sef. Everything i know about love and sacrifice, i learnt it from my husband.

      We cant always have our way in marriage if you really want your partner to be truly happy and real with you.

    2. Every 4 days of my monthly flow I sleep in my room. He reacts badly to sighting sanitary towels and perceiving any odour in the convenience so I face my own crib.

      The downside is I don't watch telly without having some side tray and crispy something to munch, so he doesn't allow me to touch his remote control or read his magazines. Haha.
      I come with my own "ma udo chia"(may peace reign). Hahahahahahahaha.

  2. 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
    1 Cor. 13:7 LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

    If you love someone, you won't see their "flaws" as a big deal. All you will see is how to make the person better and in fact the finished products.
    If you have experienced the love of God in salvation, you will understand that he received us in spite of our "flaws" and helped us work our way victoriously out of them.
    That is why he says that "marriage is a mystery, talking about Christ and the Church" (you can search it out in Ephesians 5 and read more).
    Marrying in Christ is a beautiful thing and I have enjoyed every minute of my marriage.😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

    1. @Anoymous 12:07 lucky 'smug' you. Your life is so perfect! (sic)

  3. This scares me because I cannot sleep in the same house as someone that snores I’m a light sleeper. I hate snoring so bad and I do not snore or my own snoring will keep me awake haha

  4. Being married for little more than a year now. I've come to understand quite a lot in this short time we've been married.
    Saying I love you when you are dating and saying I love you when you are married are not the same thing. Loving in marriage involves work, commitment and more. While it can be the most rewarding experience to have, it can also be the most tasking. Not everything can be compromised on though, that's where tolerance comes in.

  5. I believe marriage is all about compromise, but not the one that endangers your life.

    Good write up ✌

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    1. By talking to him and since you have done self evaluation start by making few changes, one day at a time

    2. Try having a non-confrontational talk with him. Tell him the things you've been pondering on for sometime and gently ask him how you may have unintentionally hurt him and imposed your will on him. How he responds will tell you what steps to take next.
      Good luck!!!

    3. Try go out of your way sometimes to do things for him.

    4. Your husband you just described is me. And I'm not happy. Just numb. I sometimes wonder how much more I can take before I loose it.

    5. Kai. He's a softie and you've been oppressing him, probably nagging him down to submission on issues.

      First, find out if he goes to sit out in some place to cry.
      Then who's his closest ally? someoneyou can go through to get him to becoming a stronger man.
      He is running from something.
      Men are not this submissive.

      Is he emasculated?

    6. Thanks anon 15.12
      Anon 16.03 I'm so sorry you feel the way you do. Why not try reaching out to your partner and express how you feel.
      Communication is key. Pls stop taking it all in your partner might not really know the tremendous effects their attitude has on u.
      All the best.

  7. Marriage involves a lot of compromise. Women especially tend to comprise too much and lose themselves. This is not meant to degrade anyone as I am a woman too and I feel the same the way. The best thing is to compromise in a one that doesn’t denigrate who you are and still try to be yourself.

    1. I told my husband I am unwilling to continue with this marriage thing today.

      I can't go mad because I'm married and Nigerian and I have to suck up everything for the status.

      I come from a comfortable middle class home.

      I was thought to save money..invest and plan and my husband is the exact opposite of me.

      My husband is the ultimate chairman/spendthrift.

      He has hordes of females he constantly lusts after women who in his past life he couldn't afford but after he started to earn cash he went haywire.

      I can't continue with a man who has no plans for the future but constantly lives in the moment!

      Best thing is to let him go and binge on his multiple women while I face my ordered organized life!

      While he is a kind and friendly guy I'm not sure I want to take the risk of a man that aspires to nothing and has no plans for the future but is constantly doling out his hard earned cash to babes

      By tomorrow I will be returning to my parents home from my husbands hometown before I head back to base.

      I wish it wasn't this way but I cant ruin my life and chances of doing better in the name of love.


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    1. Then talk to SOMEONE he respects and is close to.
      He'll let you in on some things they would have discussed.

      The days are not easy anywhere in the world currently, make it easier for him.
      Good luck nne.

    2. Awwww, may God grant you your heart's desire,

  9. In marriage contexts, is anyone living with a spouse with extreme OCD? What's the best coping strategy??


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