Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Friday, March 12, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

 Hmmmmmm....





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MOTHER IN LAW BROUHAHA




Hi Stella


Please I need some advice

I wrote you sometime in 2018- omugwo chronicle 57


Well it is 2021 and I am pregnant , its been great so far apart from the lack of sleep. One of the things keeping me awake is being pregnant in a pandemic and just being worried about my MIL.


You know all I suffered the last time she came for 6 months and even after that she came again for 4 months with the same nasty attitude.


Apart from the horrible omugwo she did, the worst is when I was admitted in the hospital for 3 days. She no bring food come give me oh, she talk say them they give me food for hospital.


I got home after being discharged around 5pm, no food at home and she knew I was being discharged that day. She was home all through the day. Food stuff full fridge but she no cook anything.

My problem is she keeps using culture as a reason to act the way she does. Her culture they don’t cook, you will cook and serve them bla bla bla. I feel because I am igbo and she is Yoruba,she is able to play this culture card.


According to her culture MIL comes first for Omugwo. But I don’t want her around me at all. After all its not by force to do omugwo abi?


And even during my maternity leave I don’t want her around and even if she comes she can only stay for 3 weeks.


The advice I need now is how to tell hubby so we can set boundaries. I don’t mind his family coming over at all in fact I welcome them since we live abroad you don’t see family as much.

But what I cant take is the long stays because it does more harm than good. This will also apply to my own family; don’t stay more than 3 wks.


I cant afford to be depressed anymore in my own house so I am taking charge.


Tbh having MIL for even 3 weeks will be torture but at least I can endure. If i begin to narrate her story ehn i no go finish.




Three weeks or less is enough time but I am guessing they stay until the visa given expires...If your hubby agrees with you and does not feel like you are chasing his family, please go ahead...

I know someone's whose daughter is estranged after less than a year of Marriage because Mother in law went to visit and they had a problem and when she was leaving for Nigeria, she told the daughter in that by the time she would be returning, daughter in law would have been thrown out.

Threat was taken lightly and one day hubby woke up and said, wife has to leave because his mother is coming....That was it.. She is Igbo and he is Yoruba.
My dear,play it smart with your mother in law please.. No quarrels ,no exchange of words.....

84 comments:

  1. I can see your problem is food... Food this food that... Please get a maid

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just imagine,have you given birth and know what women face after delivery not to talk of adding another pressure????????

      Delete
    2. Someone that doesn’t have sense @bbjac

      Delete
    3. Will you give her money for a maid? You think she's in Nigerian where you can get a maid cum nurse cum baby sitter for 20k??
      Poster talk to your husband about it, insist you'd rather do it alone this time around.
      Your mother in law just does not like you, forget that lie about culture she is spinning.
      My mum came first for omugwo and was with me for 7 months before mom in law came.
      If your mum is alive and well, can you arrange for her to come this time around?
      You've been fair enough to let your mum in law come do omugwo the first time, switch it this time around.

      Delete
    4. This issue right here is not a joke. A woman can literally loose her mind to the craziness of childbirth and the sleeplessness of the months after. Artificial pressure is not welcome at all.
      Poster, start now to make arrangements for who you want over for omugwo. His mother visiting her son for 10months is not your problem but as for omugwo duties, tell your husband who you need over to help you. Tell him you don't want to stress mama and you are not comfortable sending your mil on errands. Tell him in tears and let him see the avoidable stress you are under. We are women and should learn how to scheme our idea into our husband's head and he will be the one to make it law and implement it.
      As for your mil, nne omugwo is not Yoruba culture. You are not expected to be waited on hand and foot in Yoruba tradition as is expected in the east. For them, so long as a woman gives birth and she is healthy, she is expected to back her newborn and handles her ish. So be wise and don't make issues out of it because your mil is just being herself and you can't come and pressure the poor woman with your expectations. Make arrangements for your omugwo. If your mother has a visa, pay her way over. Or if you can afford it, pay for a nanny/help.

      Delete
    5. Please it has nothing to do with being Yoruba vs Igbo. Your mil is just an old witch. Forget it nothing dey happen they cant chase u

      Delete
    6. If you don't live abroad you cannot understand how difficult it is with childcare let alone when you just have a baby. I've been through it and it's destroyed relationships.
      I wasn't wise enough and my MIL used me against everyone, I suffer no be small. I'm a very gentle lady, who was very stupid but I became wiser though.
      I hate Nonsense, can't stand it, I don't pretend, once I cut you off, I cut you off.
      I sincerely hate Nonsense πŸ˜ΈπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      Delete
    7. Poster, Saphire's advise is good. You can cook different types of soup and stew, plus your peppersoup and freeze them in your last month. I also got friends to help out in cooking large portions of fried, jollof rice, lasagne,asaro and ayamase for me as soon as I delivered. So there was so much food in the house when mom inlaw came. I knew cooking will be a problem. By the time we ran out of food. I was strong enough to cook. I also had someone deep clean my home and do laundry and ironing when I was in hospital. I only did clean as you go for a month. Mom inlaw just took care of the newborn during the day and helped massaged my body until she left.U can also use the pandemic to your advantage to ask for a younger person as it's not wise for an older person to visit us because they have a higher rate of becoming severely ill if they catch the virus. This was the reason my mother couldn't come and mom inlaw who lives in my country abroad had to do the omugo.

      Delete
    8. Poster,bear in mind that no matter how long your MIL stays,she will still LEAVE,please do not set any boundaries with your husband,that is his mom,would u like your husband setting boundaries for your mom?the issue that will pop from this will be more than the 6months endurance ma'am!
      Theres no Yoruba culture that says MIL should not cook o,I'm Yoruba and my MIL does everything for me till I am strong enough,she stays for 3months when I have my kids and there is nothing she doesn't do,even wash my stained hospital clothes!
      I know its hard but keep trying so the dynamics of your home can be maintained, if she gets an idea of you trying to limit her visit,SHE WILL FIGHT DIRTY,please o!

      Delete
  2. Please guard your peace jealously. Subtly tell hubby, your first pregnancy gave you enough experience and you wouldn't need any assistance this time.

    Make him understand that your mental health is very vital and you may not be able to cope with anything that will stress you.

    Use style and get what you want. Don't blatantly state that you don't want her to come. Use sense.

    ReplyDelete
  3. When I become a MIL tomorrow and not strong enough to do chores, I will sit in my house, get housekeeper. Let my pikin and spouse sort themselves out. Dont like being an inconvenience to anyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Until then,this is just a blab

      Delete
    2. 18:26 no it's not a blab!
      My mom has never been to my only brother's house in his 16 years of marriage.
      I even had to coerce my mom to come stay with me.

      My mom is vibrant and has many things to do for herself. She enjoys staying in her own home. πŸ˜„

      Delete
  4. You just go on ahead and let your husband in first to see his reaction to the whole thing.I just hope you are not playing the victim's card whilst still with your own inadequacies??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. By now, the Poster should already know her hubby's opinion.
      This is what happens when husbands are not man enough to set strict standards in their homes.

      Delete
    2. Nero, you are senseless. So bowing to the whims and caprices of a wife is not being man enough, abi? This poster is resentful of her mother-in-law, omugwo or not. She is half with the truth in her tales! She doesn't even respect and love her husband - na marriage of convenience. Your mum can come and stay forever, but my mum can only stay for 3 weeks! You do well. Nonsense and Buhari You can only try such rubbish abroad and override me - let us live in Nigeria and you try relating such stupid talks to me. My mother being disrespected? God forbid

      Delete
    3. Bless you Nero, you said it all πŸ‘ŒπŸΎπŸ‘ŒπŸΎ

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    4. Anonymous 17.34 if you know the rate of divorce and separation inlaws from both sides have caused. You will set boundaries and limits when you get married regardless of where you live.

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    5. 17:34 your mom or your wife's mom or relatives from both sides are not meant to live with you or over-stay their visits in your matrimonial home.

      You could live with and train your younger ones - one or two from each side.

      Set boundaries early because there are other pressures in marriage you have to deal with besides family/in-laws.

      Delete
  5. My advice? Don't have anyone over. Whether from your side IR your hubby's side. Get a maid for your post natal period. Tell your husband that.

    The buzz of omugwo is actually on the first childbirth. The rest may not be taken seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tell your hubby you dont want anyone around,shikina

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have been reading 1Corinthians 13 for years and it never made sense the way it made sense to me few years back. Please poster can you make up your mind to love this woman sincerely and see all these complains become insignificant. Take your time to read that chapter of the bible with understanding. One thing l have made up my mind is.. No matter how bad a mother in-law treats me. I will reciprocate with genuine love. I know its not easy but l have made up my mind. My reason is that l will be a mother in-law someday. I want to be treated very well by my daughters in-law.

    Anytime she visits, tell your inner conscious mind that she is a visitor. No matter how long she stays in your house. She will go one day. Within that period she is with you. Ignore her flaws and give peace a chance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can love her without allowing her drain you. The stress is what she can't handle, not that she doesn't want her around.

      Delete
    2. Exactly what i did and it paid off. She preferred to cook which used to upset me, but i found out she only wanted to help me, i piped down and smiled always, my kindness and coolness confused her....and she started loving mw back. We became close and she taught me a lot about life. I had another child after she died and men i really miss her.

      Delete
    3. You have a beautiful soul.May God grant your heart desires.Love is the ultimate! Once we try to see pass someone's flaws,automatically your peace of mind grows genuinely.

      Delete
    4. Best advice! Poster, receive sense with this advice.see her like your own mother, love her with her flaws and see peace restored to you.

      Delete
    5. God bless you, Zaram! I had made a comment above under Nero - I hope Stella publishes it. Nonsense! This lady is resentful and loathes her MIL! All the lies she has packaged in this chronicle and her past Omugwo story is to make MIL look bad so that BVs can condemn her. Your husband is a simp if he tows your path.

      Delete
    6. Plan your old age well. Your daughter in-law will not be your sitter. The stress is what she is complaining about. Let her hire somebody to help her out. No need for mother in-law to come. Anybody going for omugwo should understand that she is going to help. If you can’t help, stay in your house.

      Delete
    7. Zaram said almost same thing I said up there. The woman does not hate her. Poster just has expectations she was entitled to in her tradition.

      Delete
    8. Exactly she wants the mother inlaw to become her maid all cos they brought her abroad,omugwo is not yourba people's tradition,your statement up there is wrong,it seems you are changing the tribe so people won't decode you,could be you are not nice to that woman and she is being careful not to pass her boundary,cos some wives would even be mad at their mother inlaw for entering their kitchen to cook,they get mad if mother inlaw do the cooking in the house complaining they don't want another woman to cook for their husbands,yet you will give free hand to your own mothers in your matrimonial homes and want to cage your husbands mother,make una fear God ooo.poster if you love your husband and want your home,borrow sense,be good to that woman,continue to be good, stay goodπŸ‘

      Delete
  8. Please tell you hubby about your fears lovingly. He should be the one protecting you and not you facing your MIL. He should face his family. Let your mum come for omugwo this time considering your MIL did the other time.

    Anyway, that Yoruba culture thing she stated is false. I am Yoruba and we don't treat people that needs help that way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you, my mother came for my Omugwo,my MIL came and used few days cos she doesn't even like stress.If you come to my house when i just put to bed, sorry I won't cook for you oo,MIL or my mum gan gan.MIL staying for Omugwo is not a Yoruba thing at all.

      Delete
  9. Exactly what I'm facing now. Put to bed 5 days ago. Cs for that matter...mother in law came that day, but she never enter kitchen since I was discharged on Tuesday. ..me that did cs is already making food for her with the help of my house help. Same thing she did when I had my first child through normal delivery. I came back from hospital and entered the kitchen straight to make her food. With the help of my younger sis..I'm not naive or timid...I'm a lawyer for that matter. But honestly, I think I'll lose it this time and give it to her...we even made beans for lunch this afternoon and she asked my help to take it back that she wants something else other than beans...Stella I'll send in my omugwo chronicle soon. Both the first and then this...I really wish my mum was alive

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should have pretended as if you aren't strong enough. How could you have entered the kitchen to cook on the day you were discharge? A friend of mine pretended to faint cos of stress,was rushed back to the hospital. She quickly whispered to the doctor that she only pretended and nothing was wrong with her(when they were alone) before he would start giving her orisirisi.
      The doctor had to call the hubby and told him tales of rising bp,high stress levels etc before his brain reset. Some men are really mean to their wives and totally inconsiderate

      Delete
    2. Anon 15:35 please follow anon 16:40 advice.My dear pretend to faint one day,collapse and tell your doctor why you did when no one is there.That you mother-in-law is very wicked and doesn't like you at all.From the hospital you should be resting and recovering.You don't have to do stressful things after a major surgery like CS.If she doesn't want the food then let her starve.What is now the point of omugwo if she can't cater for you and your new born.

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    3. See sis,she will get what she is doing back,please try not to confront her,she will fight dirty,who returns food when her sons wife just gave birth?she is looking to rile u up, whatever is done to you she will get in folds,just be patient and try to get as much help as u can from other people!

      Delete
    4. Please, I won't pretend to faint if I were in your shoes 15:35.
      I will simply recline in my bed and mind my CS.
      Hunger knows how to send people on errands. πŸ˜„

      Delete
  10. This is a big lie, in my experience Yoruba mother in laws cook when they go for Omugwo. My own Yoruba family cook for their inkaws joor, this mama either is lazy or just dont want to do anything for you. I hope you all dont give her the things they give to mothers to take back with them after Omugwo visit. Why is she acting like that, Abi you and her have issues?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe she doesn't give the mother inlaw free space,cos yoruba people and cooking na 5&6,they like to cook,bath baby and take care of their grand children.What is the issue poster?

      Delete
  11. Your mother in law won't be with you forever. Please, endure for peace to reign. Just try to ignore her and do what makes you happy.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Your hubby understands their culture and you might not be able to stop her from coming. If you can please employ someone that will cook and clean for you when you put to bed so that you can rest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is abroad.Those services don't come cheap.

      Delete
  13. Poster,you sound like a self centered human.You are an African woman,if you wanted all the space and husband to yourself alone,you should have married a white man not an African man(especially Yoruba)if you want to have peace and remain married,don't over react! apply wisdom and learn to endure if necessary.Your husband is not blind,if he's been welcoming his mother there for that long you have to learn how to "like" and tolorate her too.Some men are attached to their mother and any attempt to detach,you'll end up in shame.I am very sure you knew he had a close relationship with his mother b4 u accepted to marry him.Get a maid,forget her cooking part and learn to take and love her as your mother.Above all apply wisdom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you for these comments. Selfish and disrespectful daughter-in-law!

      Delete
    2. Don't mind her,she wants to turn her mother inlaw to housemaid,will you get mad at your own mother if she didn't cook,no,you won't!!you will order take away for the house cos you people won't go hungry,this is how these people do,they will bring this old mama to the abroad and turn them to nanny/housemaid/cleaner,old grandma's with feeble bones oo,they can't do too much, they already gone through the process and stress of bringing up their own children, you people would still not let them rest in their old age all in the name of omugwo tradition,if any grandma wants to willing help out,it's fine,but don't force them and,do not hate or resent them cos they can't help out much with chores

      Delete
    3. Please childbirth is not a joke. This very thing can cause post-partum depression. That ish has caused women to be suicidal and even abandon their babies. Not every woman is strong after childbirth, and from this chronicle I can see poster is already stressed and anxious by the mere thought of having her MIL around for Omugo. Poster nobody here is wearing your shoes. Do you my dear. It may be better for her not to come at this time until after you have given birth and fit to tolerate her shenanigans. Have whoever you feel will assist you with your ordeal. Your health, physical and mental is germane. Be alright dear and take care of yourself.

      Delete
    4. Hope you guys experience what she's going through when you give birth in JESUS mighty name.
      You think it's easy abroad, I understand what the lady is saying because I've been through it. I had CS, came home from hospital and started cooking next day because my MIL said she eats fresh food and not frozen one, sometimes my MIL will say she doesn't like what I cooked, not that she will carry baby when crying, tell me that I should leave baby in the cot to cry that baby's pretend meanwhile baby had colic. I went into depression.
      Her daughter gave birth few weeks after me and when I went to visit I saw the difference. I felt really bad and the next omugwo she came for I pretended like i was sick ooo so she could go to her other children's House.
      Why come abroad to say u won do omugwo without asking me, when I found out she was coming I said she should wait till baby is 4 months so I would have recovered a bit from stress so I won't be juggling taking care of her and my children. Simple

      Delete
  14. Just tell your husband u don’t want anyone to come or u would like your mum to come simple

    ReplyDelete
  15. Most women suffered alot,especially single mothers in raising their children and giving them a good future despite their poor beginning.If you find yourself married to such Son,Do not attempt to put boundaries btwn he and the mother in a hurry,you will be disgraced.Learn to know your spouse very well,his family and his story b4 you try to start setting boundaries.Most married women are wicked and very selfish,I'm very sure if it was your mother coming frequently there wouldn't have been any complains.What is making you depressed? Can't you get a maid? You expect someone to travel from naija to obodo oyibo and stay only 3weeks? Life is not so hard try and be friendly,free and okay with your mother in-law it'll make your marriage a bit sweeter.Na Yoruba man you marry o,you cannot win btwn he and his mother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If u don’t know the work of omugwo or don’t want to do it, why go at all????

      This is why I can never agree for my MIL to come do omugwo for me. It would have to be my own mother. My mother will not watch me come from hospital and expect me to do any form of house chores. Never!!!!

      My mum and my MIL were to come around the same period if not for corona, now none could come. I even prefer that none comes than for just my MIL, no matter how close we are, dunno how serious she would have taken the task.

      One Igbo lady from church did come to help twice. First thing she did when she came was wash the plates in the sink despite telling her not to. Then she proceeded to help me wash the corn I had soaked for my ogi. She was actually the one that concluded the process of the ogi for me. Then she prepared pepper soup and asked if I had any other meal I wanted to prepare so she would do so for me. And then she went around running errands for me and she didn’t collect a dime.

      She told me this is what u do when u go for omugwo. Culture or not, if u can’t do these things, sit in ur house and don’t be a witch and go and add to the frustration of a new mother

      Delete
    2. I agree with you @Ekajoy...its Omugwo we are talking about, if you can't help why go at all to give the poor lady more work? You can as well go when the baby has grown, then they can be making food for you

      Delete
    3. Thanks Eka, there is a difference between holiday and omugwo.
      Don’t come for holiday in the name of omugwo, personally, my MIL should stick to holiday.
      Na expectations de cause wahala.
      Poster, lovingly tell Oga that his mum should come for holiday later,that you don’t want to stress her for omugwoπŸ˜‚ let her not add to your stress jare

      Delete
    4. God bless you Eka Joy πŸ‘ŒπŸΎπŸ‘ŒπŸΎ

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    5. Mine came to self isolate for one week in my house. She didn't touch baby for 1 week and I gave via Cs.

      Delete
  16. @ Zaram, thank you very much,my mother-in-law has stayed with me for 7years now,I don't have problem with her, sometimes we have a fall out but we are still family,
    My mother-in-law was living with us when I had my second daughter,I had to pay someone else to massage the baby, I cooked throughout, didn't even see it as a problem.
    Calm down sis and bear with her inadequacies πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄πŸšΆπŸ½‍♀️🚢🏽‍♀️🚢🏽‍♀️🚢🏽‍♀️

      Delete
  17. I stopped at that part of cooking to serve your MIL even when you are sick cause it's a culture thing. Please let me correct you it's not a culture thing in Yoruba land. If your MIL is doing that it is wrong. Let's stop generalizing. MIL cleans my house and cooks for me when shes around. If she can sef she will wash my pants and shes Yoruba. We are not from the same state. So please let's stop all this generalizations. If shes not giving you joy by all means let your husband do the needful. No one should be allowed to act as a slave especially in your own house.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I don't really comment on this blog but I will comment today. My MIL stayed has stayed with me three years out of the five years of our marriage and I have learnt eye service from her. At first when she stayed with me I will cook and all but when she started complaining on pepper not being enough i told the son he will be the one to start cooking for her. It is wisdom o my sister. Be nice to her but behind her talk to your husband in a nice way about the situation. I don't know if your hubby filled immigration for her. Worse case scenerio let both mothers come.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You see en. Some of our men no dey try at all. Your husband shd have seen to it that u'd meet food at home on arrival from d hospital. He shd have been d one responsible for your feeding during ur hospital admission. You are married to him, not his Mum; you are therefore his responsibility. Same way, he shd help u with omugwo. His family will treat u the way they see him treat you. Let's cut these old women some slack. She may just not want to "take over your kitchen".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True!!!! No mention of her husband in all of this. If mom in law chose not to cook, why can't the husband take over? The husband comes across as an enabler and not a mediator. Just folds his arms and watch.
      Anyway, we can't be too sure as we don't know the full story.

      Delete
    2. Then she shouldn't be there for Omugwo then.She can go another time to greet them

      Delete
    3. The husband should have made sure there was food for her on her return from hospital,but she only wants to blame her mother inlaw

      Delete
  20. Every body is telling her to get a maid.... To get a maid overseas no be beans oh.

    This is a matter your hubby should handle for you. I guess your MIL is the typical African woman. You have to find ways to work with her with wisdom. She can't be wished away.
    Start now and start praying for the Grace to bear her coming and also think up of ways to press IGNORE.

    I am still learning to live with my MIL I never imagined that happening but it has happened and I am really growing in following her with wisdom.
    Don't allow the Tribe card to play in your mind Pls.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Why do yoruba MIL's behave this way?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Personally, I think with these troublesome MILs, its the expectation that kills more.
    My MIL is so troublesome that her sons in law have thrown her out. One put her belongings outside sef.
    The first time she came for 'omugwo' (My son was over 1year) at mine, I was expecting some help but was so disappointed. Infact I caught her throwing my Sons food away and claiming he was fed, how did I find out? well, It was after his Health visitor complained about the progressive weight loss that I had to put an eye.....lo and behold his food was going to the bin(food I would prepare before going to school o, she said she cant do his food even indomie). I cried eh, I felt I had failed my Son.
    I had to leave school to concentrate on my son o. Fast forward to today, I have graduated and God has blessed me with an excellent job. In summary, she is free to visit but I have video cameras round my house, I will NEVER EVER leave her alone with my Kids even with all the CCTV cameras and I dont expect her to lift a finger when she comes around but she cant stay for more that 2 weeks at a time (I m likely to loose my cool afterwards)plus I give her anything she wants in terms of gifts etc.
    Haven said that, she shouldn't come when you need help, she can come when you are strong enough to 'serve' her or when there is someone to help you 'serve' her. We Africans underrate this whole mental health thing, how do you expect a sleep deprived new mum to slave for you abeg?

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    Replies
    1. God bless you!!!

      Delete
    2. Spot on πŸ‘ŒπŸΎπŸ‘ŒπŸΎ

      Delete
  23. Madam, pretend that you are ill else, if you die, they'll marry another woman for their son who will maltreat your children wella

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  24. But what is wrong in simply telling your husband that you want your own mother or relative to come BECAUSE YOU NEED HELP???!!! As in someone who can readily and actually assist and not cosmetic assistant?
    The way way una de fear husband sef ehn, I tire!

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  25. Culture has nothing to do with being a nasty person. She using omugwo as vacation opportunity. Do not entertain her for any omugwo. You better off being your omugwo.

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  26. Hmmmm please discuss with your husband and be wise....

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  27. Your mother in law is not the problem, your husband is. Whatever your in laws do to you is what your husband will allow. Many times the men low-key use their family to control or punish the wife the way they secretly wish to. Women blame side chick, in law, everyone but the husband. Sad that people are married to men they are afraid to confront- yet they can confront God

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I concur. This is true for some men. God bless all the great husbands out there.

      Delete
  28. Playing the tribal card...Tribalist Daughter in law. Imagine shes your mother atleast. Would you write her off? Imagine your son's wife treating you that way. Clicks tongue

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For some it is not just a card. Homes differ.

      Delete
    2. Mama said it was cultural, thus the cultural connection.

      Delete
  29. Where are all the people shouting Meghan Markle...is a this or that...biko is this poster situation different from Meghan in her situation?

    Lmao

    Poster, your MIL is not your maid. You too will be one some day.

    Your husband is responsible for your care and when MIL comes for Omugwo, do not have so much expectations...all those cooking if MIL can't help out, then face your hubby because he is responsible to your catering just as you were catering to his needs before birthing your baby.

    You were admitted and your husband can't bring food for you and you are dragging MIL...what is the use of saying I do and screaming 2 becomes one.

    You tag her nasty but can marry the product of her nastiness...madam poster...your attitude isn't good either, I want to believe it is pregnancy hormones.

    You can't take long stay...lol...when you get old and your kids can't take long stays, hope you won't feel abandoned in an old people's home...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oro rirun, are we reading the same post or your πŸ‘… is itchy Anonymous 21:01 πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ₯΄πŸ€—πŸ₯΄

      Delete
  30. Miss me with if she’s your mother, won’t she tolerate her?why can’t the mother in law also treat poster like her daughter.won’t she cook if poster is her own daughter.Nigerians are not ready for this discussion.
    Poster,protect you mental health by all means,speak to your husband

    ReplyDelete
  31. For any woman to say that a new mum needs to serve her mum or mother in law is witchcraft! Pls the process of being delivered of a baby(ies) signifies a woman going through the valley of the shadow of death to bring forth life out of life! She needs to be cared for and her mental/physical well-being restored. Pls stop saying she should cook for her mother in law at that stage, pls. If you can’t even take food to a woman who just delivered, or help her clean her house, don’t expect her to entertain you, don’t even go visit her even if she is your best friend. If poster is strong after the child has grown up, after first few months or even a year, then she can play hostess. Let us all help each other and change this narrative.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hey, why the hateful comments? Some MILs are like that. They wont help out, just want the new mum to be burdened. I expected you to have told your husband of his mum's not helping after the first omugwu. If you tell him now, it would seem as if u dont want his mum there.if i were you, i would invite my mum over now i am still pregnant and let her stay till at least a month after delivery. Then let his mum come when u have delivered, and watch. Na ur hubby go settle the matter last last.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Don’t let her into your home immediately after birth if she won’t play her role during omugwo! If your husband can’t stand up for you, I’m sorry but you married a boy! Mental health after birth is very important! Imagine cooking for someone when you just had a baby?!
    When going intertribal, these are things one has to consider.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Post-natal (omugo) is to help the new mom. If you can't help don't visit at that time. Stay in your own home.

    My mom told us, her girls that we should get married when she still has strength for omugo or she won't come if she is too old for that. πŸ˜„

    Mother in-laws should not even go for omugo because it's not their right. However, if they insist, they MUST do the work or visit only after omugo is done with.

    ReplyDelete

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