STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MEMO FROM A DIVORCED SINGLE MOTHER
.. l am writing to you in order to make someone understand that it's good to e were best of friends. I waited until he completed college and started work. My family and his family then met.
We got married and had a son. (7 years old now). My husband was short tempered at times but our problems started when I wanted to make him feel he couldn't control me. Every time we argued, I would pack my bags, go to my family and explain. My sisters would phone my husband and shout at him. If he was controlling me I would always dare him that if he wished, he could divorce me. I never wanted divorce.
I just had pride and I never wanted to look like a loose woman in his eyes. One day I pushed him so hard that for the first time he beat me and locked me outside. I went to my family, my family took him to the police, every time looked like I was being abused But to be honest, I used to abuse my husband emotionally.
He was arrested and detained. I was asked by his family to withdraw the case. I felt that what I was doing was wrong. My husband was never a violent man, he did what he did because I pushed him to the wall of which he openly knelt down and apologized. I withdrew the charge, and we reconciled. After three months, I packed my bags after a small issue and he remained alone. After two days, I received a call that he was in the hospital.
My family told me that I shouldn't go there because it would look like I was begging him and my sisters believed he was feigning the illness. All this time, people felt sorry for me like I was the one being abused. He spent a week in the hospital, after he came out, I just received a divorce summon. I wanted to say no to divorce, but because I felt this pride, I wanted him to change his mind and beg me. I called him and said he would get the divorce because we lived like I was in hell.
When we went to court, I wanted to make him pay, so l told the court that I needed his properties to be shared. To my surprise he openly told the court that whatever he and I acquired together should be given to me, all he wanted was divorce.
We were divorced in 2009 July.
Now, my husband is married, whilst I am here wasted!
My family members are gossiping about me. I depend on what my ex husband gives to my son for survival. I know I wasted my marriage. I am here telling all wives that they should be careful how they get advise.
Don't be cheated, don't entertain family interference in your marriage my dear reader. Even my young sisters are much more respected than me. Those who encouraged me to get divorced are always teasing and bad mouthing me.
Please ladies, be vigilant in your marriage. Thought it wise to share my story to save your marriage. There is no benefit in pride for nothing.
SOMETIMES IT'S NOT THE MAN'S FAULT AT ALL, It's YOUR PRIDE,AND THE PEOPLE YOU ALLOWED To ADVISE YOU,SO BE WISE AND VIGILANT IN YOUR MARRIAGE. #copied.
This was posted in the comment section of a Chronicle...
This was posted in the comment section of a Chronicle...
Its your last statement for me, OMG!
Fascinating!
ReplyDeleteA man made up the story, but we still get the message you are trying to pass though
Delete@15:17, continue to deceive yourself.
DeleteThe man that made up this chronicle weldone you hear,all the messages passed has been received.Some men with so much hatred for women will use any means to express their feelings.
DeleteAnon 15:17,you are too smart. Me sef follow smart because only a dumb person wouldn't code that this was written by a man. Not just any man ,a woman-hating man. And we know them on this blog
DeleteGlad to know you did yourself 100 percent, you should know when to draw the line.
DeleteOga writer, well done o
DeleteAnon, you are right, as i was reading through, i just hissed because i have seen a yoruba movie exactly like this story.
DeleteSuch a profound comment. ✊🏻
ReplyDeleteYou will find love again. 💛
Lie lie chronicle.
ReplyDeleteHow were u divorced in 2009 aand your son is 7 years ols
Lol
Delete😂😂
DeleteToo many smart & observant people on this blog ehn.
😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteSee the #copied at the end? This is one of those stories that make the rounds on social media. Hard to tell what year it was written.
DeleteGood advice/lessons to be gotten from the story.
😆🤣😂 I cannot can't on this blog and it might be a mistake on a second thought though
DeleteLol all this Facebook stories.
DeleteLovelace
Abi o my son will be 7 on Sunday and he was born august 2014!
DeleteOK oo
ReplyDeleteYou said your truth. It is well with you. May God show you His mercies seeing that you've learned from your mistakes.🫂🤗😘💕🙏
ReplyDeleteThat's 12 years ago you were divorced. Please, forgive yourself and move on with your life.
ReplyDeleteDivorced 12 years ago and son is 7 years old ? Hmmmmmmm
Delete@15:09
DeleteThese are the unrepentant ones
You earn my baskets today to share with your unrepentant sisters.
You see the two chronicles for today, if they don't open your eyes,
carry baskets and cover those eyes... 🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺
Oh my God! I'm so touched by this story 😢
ReplyDeleteDid your mean you were divorced 2019???
ReplyDeleteJust doesn’t make sense you divorced 2009 and your child together is 7 years old
Hmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to have a mind of your own. Don't let anyone push you into destroying yourself.. Let the meekness of God always dwell and direct your affairs.
Marriage is sweet when both partners imbibe the spirit of cooperation and compromise. It's not a competition.
Shalom 🌻
...still learning
ReplyDeleteMy own is that, if a man loved you so much that he chose you above all the billions of women in the world, married you fully and legally, you should fight for the success of the marriage as a woman. The bible says, a wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman plucks it down. God gave the success of marriage to the woman. It's left for her to do as she wants.
ReplyDeleteIf only you know what submission does to men. It melts them like fat put on fire. Why do you think side chics keep winning? Because they don't argue with his authority. Even when what he is doing is clearly wrong, ask the Holy Spirit to touch him to do the right thing. Before you know it, he'll change.
These men, like babies, will do your very bidding when you submit. First step is to marry someone you can comfortably submit to. Second is to submit. Third is to drench your marriage daily in prayer. Shikena. Leave the rest to God.
NEVER listen to those who will ask you to leave. Never. The only reason a woman should even move out, is when her life is threatened. But here on our blog, sisters will shout walk away! at the slightest provocation. Funny enough, they are in their own marriages solving one problem after the other, praying for the sun to shine in their marriage.
Single sisters, please, take time and get married. There's no rush. What is worth doing, is worth doing well. Also stay away from people's husbands.
Poster sorry o. I hope we all learn from your story. It is well.
Well said👏👏👏
DeleteBut some people marry their wives out of pity or pressure either from the wife herself or other pressure, so no matter the work or effort the wife puts into the marriage it'll not just work
May God help us all
As hard as this may be for you to believe, not every man wants a submissive wife.
DeleteI remember a guy saying one time he dated a woman of a particular race, and no matter what was being done she always submitted to his way, his opinions, and his desires. He said at first it was good, but then after a while the relationship started feeling robotic and predictive. He questioned if she had her own mind and feelings about things. He decided to end the relationship because he couldn't handle it anymore, he wanted someone with their own mind and who was willing to disagree with him, I guess this feels more authentic and honest.
Submission is fine if it works for both parties and authenticity and honesty is still a part of the relationship. But not every man requires it or wants it.
Madam poster, thank you very much for posting this advice.
ReplyDeleteI do hope that all those that make me weave baskets will take this advice in good faith.
Madam, anyone that refuses to take these advice, help and join me in sharing baskets to them 😝😝😝
Anyone that receives these beautiful pieces of advice, will receive my roses 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹and more...
Let Jesus rule in your life and you will have peace.
Dear poster, I am very glad to note that you judged yourself...God knows all things and you won't be judged
I believe. In your humility right now, look after your son, seek him and know him. He will surely bless you
again and again.
Shalom.🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Pride
ReplyDeletepride
pride
pride
pride
A lot of ladies reading this here are guilty of this. Will you all own up and save your marriages?
Both must work on the marriage
DeleteThe issue is not you divorcing, the issue is your bad personality and poor behaviour. If you were deceiving everyone to believe something else and they encouraged you to go the route to grant you peace how is it their fault when you are the one who deceived them all.
ReplyDeleteA beg, please see that you were/are a liar, deceiver and stealer of people's time, goodwill, compassion and resources. You were/are a liar and a thief and paid a price for it. Please raise your child in peace and teach them the upright way of life. Live for good and stop looking at your ex-husband's life and where he is at. Commit to being a better human being, commit to doing good. Even now you have not confessed to the part you played in the demise of your marriage, you out here blaming innocent ppl. If you had really changed you would have confessed to them and apologized to your ex-husband You don't even sound like you have set yourself right with God.
How will you be free and at peace if you have not confessed to either man or God. Your words are still focused on you and you and you. Do you not think that the divorce was a good thing for your husband? He deserved a good wife, so the divorce was beneficial to both of you, it allowed you the opportunity to face your demons and the truth of your being, and your husband got the opportunity to get a true wife. The divorce was right.
ANG we know your handwriting 🤣
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to say! But whatever we are doing let's always think about the future!
ReplyDelete@anon15:06 e no shock you, But forget about d maths, take the Advice.
ReplyDeleteI wish my wife could read this.She’s the queen of verbal and emotional abuse.I am kuku tired of complaining and just waiting for when she pushes me to the wall.Saddest part is the excuse she gives is either it slipped or she didn’t mean it.This woman says the nastiest things to me and it’s not even like I’m not performing my duties o.We live abroad and she barely works sef but I pay most bills and she still bad mouths me.The day is gradually coming when I will just disappear from the house and send her divorce papers.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you. Y not talk to her parents or good friends to advise her.
DeleteWhy dont you go for marriage counselling.
DeleteSend her this post
DeleteI no go school. All of u calculating divorce and age, come and explain
ReplyDeleteI think one of the reasons we are having increase in the rate of divorce in our society these days is pride/ego. Ego on the part of the husband and pride on the part of the wife. Naturally, a husband will want the wife to be submissive and recognise him as the head of the home, whether he can provide financially 100% or not. That is how the universe was made; the wives to be submissive. Take a look at the whole of animal kingdom, that's how it is. Homo sapiens as a result of our mental advancement had embraced civilization and had abandoned the naturality of the universe. With civilisation comes feminism and the feminist movement, a lot of wives have seen themselves as being equal to or above their husbands in terms of being the head of the home, some wives are also matriarchal. There is now power tussle in most homes. I'm not saying it's wrong or right but I think it's unnatural and one of the consequences has been broken homes with a lot of broken kids and hence broken societies.
ReplyDeleteA lot of women/wives that are very successful career wise and are also to manage their marriages successfully, those are very wise and I think you all deserve to be awarded!!
In as much as wives should be submissive, so also should husbands love their wives as Christ loves the church and laid down His life for her... If you study that scripture deeply you will realise that the man's responsibility to the wife is much more than the wife's responsibility of submission to her husband. Now tell me how many husbands love their wives and are ready to lay down their lives for them?? Let us not be skewed in our interpretation of scriptures!
DeleteThank you
Delete17:48
hmmm I know it's not time to apportion blames,but truth be told.... You had no maturity to handle marriage!!.😥
ReplyDeleteI pray that GOD helps us all to build our home wisely🙏
I am divorced due to little issues, I feel sad about it, but I found someone who compliments even better than my ex. Women, behave better and look for another man, invest in yourselves too. Why y'all sounding so depressed. E Pele o
ReplyDeleteYou dont really need a man.
DeleteWell! We all need wisdom ,help from our maker
ReplyDeleteForget the errors and Focus on the lesson learnt
ReplyDeleteWow..........Ladies una don hear??????
ReplyDeletePoster, it's good you've learnt your lesson.
ReplyDeleteI have always thought about this. Keep making your home uncomfortable and running to your family, at the end of the day, they will be the one to mock you.
ReplyDeleteThis applies to men and women.
Try to keep your nuclear family together, make it work and peaceful ��❤
I'm sorry but this feels like a made up story. I'm not saying this doesn't happen but I think this particular one was written by a man
ReplyDeleteWhy?
DeleteJust move on already nd stop the regret
ReplyDelete