Hmm...
HURT BY CONSTANT BETRAYAL
I’ve been betrayed so much by people I trust. Starting from my father. He left when I was a kid. Dint make me feel what having a fatherly presence is like.
When I was in university, I had a guy, my so called best friend went to my back to start dating him. I was so hurt, but I consoled myself with the fact that maybe it’s because I was a virgin and he needed s#x I couldn’t give .
Their relationship later ended badly with an abortion that led to her rupturing her reproductive organs. ( I sorted the hospital bills)
Another guy I dated after school, it was going well until a neighbour (single mother) whom I was helping , went to date him at my back, she later lost her child and Their relationship scattered.
I moved on, met another man that was spending on me and treating me very fine. Until my sister went to the back to scatter the relationship.
Another guy expressed interest in marrying me, this same sister went to the back , got pregnant for him(he later abandoned her).
Do you know in all this things , I always forgive and never seek revenge. I always end up crying all night and walking around with so much pain and a battered self esteem.
Why am I writing this now? I’ve been dating this guy for sometime now. And things have been going well. He has met my family. Only for me to discover last week That he has been flirting with my neighbour that he met in my place when he visited.
I’m so broken. Why do people do this to me ? Why? Yes I know it always ends badly with them and they come back to apologize. But then the damage has been done to my emotions . Why me?
I’m sooo hurt. Is there anything I’m doing that makes people want to hurt and betray me? What am I doing wrong? I tried to become mean , but I can’t .
I always receive extraordinary favours in my career , life and Business' and someone told me the day I start being wicked I will lose all those favours.
*Awwwwwww......
That your neighbour just send guys to flog am small since she feels stealing is OK...Imagine....I am sure if it was not your neighbour, it would have benn your sister........ And maybe if yo Marry the same thing will happen, maybe its not you,maybe its just how Nigerian men think, that they always have to cheat to feel like men...
Please dont mind them at all at all
God will send you something that will be yours alone and not hurt you at all.... Just dont settle for less with all these losers coming your way.
Good luck.
Some Naija men? it is better to be single than date them!....abe abeg abeg!!!
You need to work on yourself spiritually. Something is not right.
ReplyDeleteSame evil pattern.
Yup, I agree, she needs to work on herself spiritually, mentally and emotionally because she no too strong at all.
DeleteGo for deliverance in MFM now, don't wait, this is a bad pattern,I remember when I was getting job and losing it without a reason, went there for prayers and have been in the next job almost 2 decades now. There is a foundational problem, that u need to battle, pls fight this
DeleteAbi you get spirit husband?
DeleteHe favours you but spoils your relationship in a way that you think people are just betraying your trust and simple nature. Hear! Wicked spiritual beings are cunning. They operate covertly.
Or
Abi you are truly simple and naive like some of us. You don't bodyguard your relationship? You tell and advertise the sweetness of them to all and sundry? Are you careless about your relationship? Hear again! Women are forever looking for good. Most (okay, some) don't mind spoiling another woman's own for their own gain. Whenever they hear of a good boyfriend within their list, they DO ALL to collect the man for themselves.
Going forward, guard your valued relationship with due diligence from females around you. At least, if the man is wayward, it will be far from home.
Check your spiritual condition and your naivety level. Work on both.
Sometimes we are a product of our mindset. Trying living your life and experiencing happiness created by you rather than who you date
ReplyDeleteThere’s seems to be a pattern. You seem to keep attracting same type of men.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your easy going lovey doves gentle demeanor attracts same type of men that feel they can easily cheat on you without much consequences.
‘Maybe’
I pray God sends you a responsible man who will value you for you soon.
When you see a pattern reoccurring in your life, it's time to have a selah moment. Sit and think and pray. Nothing wrong with praying it doesn't cost anything just your time. Cancel whatever in case it's not just an occurrence.
DeleteIf I wee you i will take a few days to pray. The disappointments are one too many.
Probably. Sorry poster
DeleteGbam
DeleteTake time to pray against evil patterns
DeleteWhat about the fact that she talks too much about her relationship to people she is close to. Why are close friends and family attracted to your partners in all cases? Perhaps you are selling the men to these easy losers.
DeleteStella is right
ReplyDeleteSome guys are so messy
Even if you want to cheat, why with someone so close
So cheating should be with someone very far?
DeleteWhat about condemning cheating in its entirety?
ReplyDeleteYou sorted the hospital bill of your evil friend....one that betrayed you? Why?
There is nothing wrong with you, you are just surrounded by mean people and that’s not your fault.
The right one will stay and behave himself.
Sluttychic.
She's so nice. I'd have left her to die there
DeleteThat’s why they keep taking advantage of her. She’s too too nice to the detriment of her own mental health. What poster need to do is work seriously on herself, self worth and learn how to say NO even if it feels uncomfortable at first and stand up for herself in certain things! With time, she’ll get used to saying NO. Being assertive does not mean you’re a bad person. When you respect yourself, others will respect you naturally. If you don’t respect yourself and behave like mumu, dem go treat you like the mumu you be and keep fucking your man. Poster you better work on yourself or it’ll continue to be a vicious cycle and you’ll be so so drained emotionally mentally and physically. It’s now getting to a point where you had to reach out to Stella for advice and BVs advice. . It’s starting to really take a toll on you! Now is the time to sit up and focus on you. Forget guy matter for now and start working on your abandonment issues and self esteem so you can heal properly.
DeleteHmmn.......It's called life. None of it is your fault. There's still light at the end of the tunnel.
ReplyDeleteWell it’s her fault if she’s not really getting to the bottom of why people she calls friends betray her. It’s her fault she lets it continue to happen without really figuring things out. Be it through prayers and counseling. Poster needs to work on her.
DeleteSister,
ReplyDeleteYou're kind and nice. Sorry for all you'd been through in life. Good people aren't that stupid or weakling, they only think everyone has a good heart.
Sometimes, people never found time to be happy because they were too busy trying to be strong in life. For some, they found it difficult to heal cos the pain is the last link to what they've lost in life.
Betrayal - It always comes from the very people our heart was opened to and it hurt so badly.
As difficult it may be, we have to reach a point where we let go of the burdens of our experience and share the beauty of the lessons they left behind.
You will be fine definitely and be happy again. It hurts so badly now but God knows better for you.
When I read the book tilted, ''I WAS NEVER BROKEN'' I picked up a great lesson from it.
''If you push me away, I promise you, you won't find me where you left me. My heart is big, but not big enough to deal with people who decide to love me when it's convenient for them.''
Cheer up!!!
Keep hope alive.
God has a better plan for you.
Poster God will come through for you when the time is right
ReplyDeleteOnly for me to discover last week That he has been flirting with my neighbour that he met in my place when he visited.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean flirting?
Want to make sure you’re not overreacting
Nope. She's not overreacting. It's a deal breaker for some women.
DeleteBecause she knows the pattern. Guy man will end up banging the neighbor so yup, I don’t expect her to stay around and get completely heartbroken again. Poster needs to take a break from anything relationship.
DeleteSome women see something in every talk their man has with a woman .that’s why the question
DeletePoster there's something special about you but try to pray hard against evil repetition. You good and perfect man will surely come.
ReplyDeleteIf you have held on to resentment regarding your father, please let it go. Likely abandonment keep showing up because you have some unresolved issue around it. You can choose to go to therapy so you can work through it, or take the prayer and sanctification route, it’s up to you. But it needs addressing. Sometimes we hold on to unresolved pain and are completely unaware of it. Children will sometimes tell themselves that a parent left because of them, or convince themselves that they are unloveable in some way in their subconscious mind and in their adult life those childhood beliefs get lived out. They don’t know what is happening, but every seed planted will bear fruit of its own kind. The mind is the most fertile place on the planet, no earthly soil is as fertile as the mind.
ReplyDeletePlease forgive yourself for believing wrong things about you and go get the help that you need.
Poster, this is a recurring bad cycle. Take time to pray and fast for three days with midnight . Drop seed of faith on the altar of God afterwards. God will intervene for you in Jesus name Amen.
ReplyDeleteYou will be fine Dear. All things will work together for your Good only. May God Almighty give you beauty for your ashes. You will look back and rejoice over all your experience. God is too faithful to fail Stay Strong
ReplyDeleteYou’re attracting the same type of guys because of your low self esteem. Forget guy matter for now and really work through the void in your heart and soul. Not having that fatherly figure has really messed you up. I grew up with a dad who was physically there but neglected me emotionally. This affected my self esteem because I was looking for love I didn’t have from my father in the wrong places. I had to work on myself and focus on me properly and know what I really want before embarking on a good guy. You attract who you are and right now you’re a broken woman who will continue to attract men with baggages. Leave relationship matter for now and pray earnestly to God to fill the void/emptiness in your heart. Then read positive affirmations on self esteem, see a therapist, do whatever you can do to raise your self esteem and feel good about yourself!
ReplyDeleteChai so that your ex friend now don mess up her reproductive organs.😳 😮 na wa ooooo.
ReplyDeleteSo sad ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜. The rippling effect of that is so painful to the imagination. Why do people not just palce value on themselves? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
DeleteServes the ex friend right. Olojukokoro oshi buruku banza shege.
DeletePoster nothing is wrong with you at all but I think your problem is that you trust people too much and your drew them closer to you. You need to reduce who you should show your man, stop telling people about your relationship like in your neighborhood, your sister, your friends
ReplyDeleteMake sure that anytime you want to introduce your guy to people make sure no closeness, avoid giving them space cos those space are what make them to have liver to cheat on you
She needs to pick a better quality man, GOD helping you
DeleteToo naive. Almost like naive and stupidity at the same time.
DeletePoster, there is nothing absolutely nothing wrong with you. But one thing you need to know is that you are a rare gem and with people like you, users, fake friends, lurk around your kind trying to ravage whatever they can find. They purposely seek you out and can sniff your kind from afar. This is why when the Bible said to be gentle as a dove but it still went further and said to be wise as a serpent. That is how you protect yourself else the scavengers, parasites, and leeches will tear you to shreds.
ReplyDeleteYou can be soft yet assertive
You can be accommodating but still have boundaries.
The problem is not even your neighbour or sister but the guys. The guys that come for you are flirts and womanisers. If they did not sleep with your blood sister or neighbours they would sleep with their neighbours, and co-workers when you are not there. For them to do it close to home. Trust me! They are worse when you are not there.
It is not your fault many people are morally deficient.
1) when you have friends make sure they give as much as you do and give them the same energy they emit. That is how you gain their respect. Dono t bend over backwards for people who do nothing for you.
2)Let them earn your friendship and prove themselves worthy of you
3) learn to pick and vet your friends, watch them to see if they have integrity or the fear of God.
You cannot keep doing the same thing yet expect the same result.
Take yourself out of this relationship and get ready for the next but first get closer to God
Pray and tell God to give you your own man.
When you get into the next relationship don't fornicate(if you presently are).
But before you date the next man fast and pray and take it to God in prayer to reveal if you should go ahead or not when he is asking you out.
I wish you the best.
Rare gem but getting played. What’s the essence of rare gem with low self esteem and not placing value on one self. E no make sense now. I like the rest of your statement though. Good point. Make she work on herself period.
DeleteI feel you're too nice. Being firm and stern isn't wickedness. Try to create boundaries between friends and even your so called sister. Don't worry the right man for you will certainly come your way
ReplyDeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteLow self esteem attract dreg and users friends
Looking for acceptance by all means attracts people who think they are doing you a favour by befriending you.
A pattern of mostly immediate heavy punishment for offending persons and quick compensation outside real desire for the offended person is generally seen as not from good source in Nigerian traditional religious and spiritual beliefs.
The chicken lays one egg and crows about it. The duck lays an egg and walks away quietly. The farmer's wife knows when there is a chicken egg and where it was laid. Maybe that's why they farmer's family eat more of chicken eggs. Hope you understand the parable.
Seek professional help.
And pray to God Almighty.
Nothing pass God.
It is not you. This is human nature. Betrayal
ReplyDelete