Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Funny English!

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Thursday, November 22, 2018

Funny English!

Okay so,let's have a good laugh at what our phones typo can cause.........................






Before you go further,please note that this is a fun post...
I know i have also made mistakes when i type and i sometimes dont look before sending,most of us are guilty of this oh....

 This post was inspired by the message i got yesterday on Whatsapp....
''Am your website viewer.Am a written,blogger,footballers and graphics designer,I wont to apply for writing in your blog.''...Huh apply for writing bawo???
I got another one a while back..
''I got yor number from the insternet side and i wanted to applied as INEC Officer this deceber to mke money,high am fery qualified''
Can you remember any?
By -

80 comments:

  1. Miss Ess22 November 2018 at 13:01

    😂😂😂plenty deh and I am guilty as written.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 13:19

      Stella the ones you have written up there are enough abeg, they can break someone's head.chai!!!

      Delete
    2. Ogbebor Rhoda Rita22 November 2018 at 14:12

      😂😂😂😂

      Delete
  2. Beauty of God22 November 2018 at 13:08

    😁

    ReplyDelete
  3. Cynthia Iyede22 November 2018 at 13:13

    Hnmmm na God save me sef...

    I sent an email to my boss and at the end of it, I wrote ''best retard instead of regards'' hian!

    Thank God I had to proof-read the email before sending, else? God forbid! Na wa!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 13:31

      Best retard hahahaha...you would have ended up smoking garri for the rest of the year after loosing your job

      Delete
    2. Trace22 November 2018 at 13:52

      😂😂😂 best retard.

      Delete
    3. HummingBird22 November 2018 at 13:59

      Cynthia thank God for you o... 😂

      Delete
    4. Amebonawork22 November 2018 at 14:04

      Ha!! Village people failed woefully o. Best retard indeed! Very funny. Thank God you proofread before hitting the 'send' button.

      Delete
    5. Kosi 22 November 2018 at 14:34

      OMG!! Thank God for you.. Your boss for call emergency meeting untop your head... Auto correct can do oversabi.

      Delete
    6. Mrs Sharon 22 November 2018 at 14:38

      😀😁😂

      Delete
    7. Amanda favour22 November 2018 at 15:06

      Haha haha 😀😁😁

      Delete
    8. Unapologetic Babe 😜22 November 2018 at 15:12

      😁🤣

      Delete
    9. ChyAdaJesus22 November 2018 at 17:02

      Cynthia thank God for you o 😂😀😁😂

      Delete
    10. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 20:58

      Hahahahahhahaha

      Delete
  4. Lucent 22 November 2018 at 13:14

    I am boredom. Somebody said that to me on Tuesday. WTF!!!😡😕😃😕

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amebonawork22 November 2018 at 14:07

      Avoid the person mbok! LOL

      Delete
  5. Pearl22 November 2018 at 13:14

    I sent my account details to someone and it changed the name of the bank from Stanbic to satanic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 13:31

      hahhaahhahahhaha omoooooooooooo which kin bank account be that one hahahahaha

      Delete
    2. Amanda favour22 November 2018 at 13:35

      LMAO 😀😁😀🙆🙆🙆

      Delete
    3. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 13:37

      funny....

      Delete
    4. GOLIBE22 November 2018 at 13:48

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Delete
    5. Trace22 November 2018 at 13:53

      🤣🤣🤣

      Delete
    6. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 13:57

      bloooooood of jesus

      Delete
    7. CHOICE 22 November 2018 at 14:02

      😂😂😂😂😂

      Delete
    8. Amebonawork22 November 2018 at 14:06

      Very satanic somtin! LMAO. This one deserves a standing ovation.

      Delete
    9. Cynthia Iyede22 November 2018 at 14:17

      Lobatan! Hahahahahaha. Devil is a liar.

      Delete
    10. chika Vincent22 November 2018 at 14:19

      LMAO

      Delete
    11. Shooter Gyal22 November 2018 at 14:24

      Lmao

      Delete
    12. Erema22 November 2018 at 15:07

      Apo Apo. This is what my people will say, village people use kitchen stool siddon for your matter. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 satanic ke

      Delete
    13. ChyAdaJesus22 November 2018 at 17:03

      Choi 😂😀😁😀😂😁

      Delete
    14. SHAKITI BABY22 November 2018 at 19:40

      LMAO

      Delete
    15. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 20:57

      Lol, no be small satanic bank.

      Delete
  6. ****Bbjac****22 November 2018 at 13:14

    😂 😂 😂

    ReplyDelete
  7. legal soffy22 November 2018 at 13:22

    Enter your comment...
    i dont have any

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yori Yori Princess22 November 2018 at 13:23

    Hahahahaha very funny

    ReplyDelete
  9. Chi Aju Mbaise /Multipurpose vendor 0706600387522 November 2018 at 13:23

    I am madam gbagauan so am guilty...oops!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 17:24

      hostel matron: if you know you did it, say you did it. If you know you didn't did it, say you didn't did it.
      Students: Aunty I didn't did it

      Delete
  10. Down to Earth Chic22 November 2018 at 13:30

    This is what I call Shakabula!

    ReplyDelete
  11. DuchDuch22 November 2018 at 13:34

    I want to slept now because I'm very emotion🙄🙄🙄

    ReplyDelete
  12. Eezi22 November 2018 at 13:36

    I saw some ones status on whatsapp spelling portharcourt potacut.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amanda favour22 November 2018 at 15:08

      He or she must be my igbo brothers or sis... LMAO 😀😁

      Delete
  13. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 13:43

    Very funny 'best retard' it would have cost you your job you know any way I always proof read before pressing send button

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ron22 November 2018 at 14:00

      #yimu
      The same way you proofread this one without punctuating it abi?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 15:13

      Ron!!!! OMG 😂

      Delete
  14. Tambolo Agbïsï22 November 2018 at 13:57

    Choi! Laugh wan finish me here ooo. So many funny gbagauns.

    ReplyDelete
  15. BEDS AND ROSES22 November 2018 at 14:03

    My friends shop-girl, who claims to have finished Sec school and writing jamb. Went to make payment in the bank, returned the teller and wrote ''Herbert Macaulay road' as ''Abati Makoli''. We burst out in laughter and cried for our educational system.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vivaciara22 November 2018 at 16:50

      Lol
      This one weak me.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 21:03

      Urinate/ Unirate. My Benin friends can relate to this. I don correct my flatmate tire. Now I just listen to her gbagaun and walk away before dem go teach me lesson for oversabi.

      Delete
  16. Sweet Nonsense22 November 2018 at 14:08

    Was chatting with a pastor on what'sapp and i told him the day i came for a programme in his church, that he sang a powerful worship song that made me cry. told him it was a simple worship song but the annoying that flows with it made me cry instead of annointing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 18:09

      When anointing miraculously turns to annoying, it means DONT FLIRT WITH YOUR PASTOR

      Delete
  17. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 14:11

    Make I yarn una wetin dey. I don dey read all of una strangulation of grammar tey tey come dey learn as I dey read am. I know the kin thing auto-correct fit do, and I sabi the one wey no be auto-correct. Auto-correct dey happen for spoken grammar? Na the time wey I go copper shun, I know say, the average Naija graduate dey butcher English. Abeg if I butcher, correct me. And make you no dey take offense when I carry [sic.] spanner work am.
    Auto correct no go write:
    you're instead of your -na you carry hand select am like that
    Am instead of I am
    circular instead of secular -chikito beheaded this one few days ago come dey yarn wetin I no sabi
    Porn instead of pun -no "porn" intended? -shuo, you been wan rape me, you be perv? etc.

    Me I like all man "grammar", freestyle. But I no dey allow sleep catch me for official writing and speech when I need
    speak am like Oyinbo person. My husband dey correct me my own butchering anyhow and we go just laugh am over. If we be
    "family" like una dey yarn, make we no be Pharisee kind na. Come sdk, and brush up ya grammar too.
    TJ understand am like that and I bet he go dey better for it. E don dey better sef. For Naija especially male hostels, na all man grammar all of them dey yarn and the thing dey chop the little English wey remain.

    All the AHH I hail una oo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 15:14

      Anon sic is a wife ?....wawu! 😬😬😬

      Delete
    2. Ralu m22 November 2018 at 16:30

      Beloved... thank God that Anon sic is not a man. To be a man and be that petty? 😂😂😂

      Delete
    3. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 18:40

      Oops I leak am?
      @Beloved:
      Any person wey dey tell ladies true talk na man una dey brand am for this blog. I don notice that one tey tey.
      E come mean only one thing; say lies na Naija ladies native language like devil?
      Even FAN don call me tata say I talk about my mommy as if madam no get mama? Wetin una dey think no concern ghost.

      @Ralu
      I sure say you carry dictionary jack come find "petty" yarn make we sabi say you don learn that one okwa ya?
      Some of una don send thunder enter my smooth nyansh. E get anything wey una never do. But for Baba God I dey gidigba.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 20:16

      Oops anon Sic you no get work ma ncha. Kuku Kee me 😛😛😛

      Delete
  18. AGELESS T22 November 2018 at 14:14

    This Domino Pizza-Pie is all I see in this post. I hope I wont have to eat it in my dreams? 😎

    Has anyone tried it, does it taste good? I'm stuck to TFC's meat pie until another takes over.


    Gbagauns,

    In secondary sch, a perfect once accused me of running away from work. Then I replied : "I didn't ran"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 15:16

      Mami, how many months gone? #Preggy hormones in action.

      Or you are in my WhatsApp group of #unpreggy hormones 😂

      Delete
    2. Goodness and Mercy (G n M)22 November 2018 at 15:26

      Bwahahaha

      Teacher :did you came to school yesterday?
      Student :no, I didn't came.
      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Delete
  19. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 14:35

    Wen U Intend To Ryt "D Lord Is My Refuge" N Ur Illuminati Fone Prefers "Refuse"

    ReplyDelete
  20. Lucile coconut oil,carrot oil and black soap Abuja 0705960532022 November 2018 at 14:36

    Aerobics...earobics

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 15:14

    And I wanted someone to get some stuff for me and then I typed"please help me get indoor and vegetable oil."..auto correct changed my "indoor and vegetable oil to the aforementioned
    And the person was like, Biko what is "indoor"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 15:41

      #changed my "indomie and vegetable oil

      Delete
  22. ZIMCHIKACHIM22 November 2018 at 15:24

    wanted to type hello dear, and I sent hello dead.
    Good morning and I sent food morning.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Olu22 November 2018 at 15:50

    Shoplifters will be 'prostituted'
    illegally parked cars will be 'fine'
    Shower will be shit down on till repairs are finish, do to a leak

    ReplyDelete
  24. TheLagosShopper(Everything sold in lagos markets/popular UK brands!22 November 2018 at 16:36

    A toaster told my friend (uni days) HI ANGLE,this one was not written o,he pronounced angle instead of angel,we called my friend angle for years😂😂

    ReplyDelete
  25. Millypee22 November 2018 at 16:45

    Seniour student: mbok! call me that gal forwarding above you. Hmmm, I am calling and you are still wakaring. C'mmon stopped there, knelt down, hands your hands up!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 17:41

    Someone once told me that I was not fluent in the relationship. What he was trying to say was that I do not respond to his chats. I called him one day and he missed my call, when he called back he apologised and said "1 was not with the network when you called"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nigerian first daughter22 November 2018 at 18:06

      😱😱😱😱😱..you say what? I give up already.

      Delete
  27. deenity sealord22 November 2018 at 18:36

    I described ninalowo as a 'hunch' instead of a hunk. Even Stella laugh tire

    ReplyDelete
  28. Xty22 November 2018 at 19:30

    My hubby once typed "I love u mummy" and auto correct wrote " I love u mummu". I was like, is dt for me?lolz

    ReplyDelete
  29. Jamesfantasy22 November 2018 at 19:49

    I remember last Semester during the Swearing in of our Newly Elected Representatives,we were told to Stand Up,so as to Usher in our School Judiciary members,though We obliged,some factions began murmuring why such show of Respect to mere fellow students,so to quell the Noise,one well Respected Lecturer grabbed the Mic and Shouted "Everybody Stand Up and Settle Down! We nearly fainted...

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous22 November 2018 at 21:10

    mine was when I wrote application for a job I wrote dear madman instead of madam..my village pipu mean my Mata that day

    Bv promzy

    ReplyDelete
  31. Millypee23 November 2018 at 10:38

    Juniour student: you calling me here, you calling there! can I be divided myself into twice?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Charity bino23 November 2018 at 11:00

    My phone be behaving anyhow

    ReplyDelete

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